Linkie: The Book of Ratings, Canadian Snack Food Edition

Bob and Doug

Here, by way of the Brunching Shuttlecocks is the Book of Ratings’ opinion on Canadian Snack Foods. Apparently, the specific gravity of each snack food is vitally important for some reason; the site author is Scandinavian, so perhaps that has something to do with it.

O little Magnus, you know your papa and I don’t want you putting anything in your mouth unless it floats in freshwater! Only the Laplanders would do such a thing!” 

Crunchie is way better than this furriner says (couldna gotten through figure skating without it), and NOBODY disses our Smarties. I’m kind of glad they’re all dead, stupid blogs.

Ketchup Potato Chips
Good god! (“Mon dieu!”) These are actually good! Really good. So good that I was able to get past the unnerving phrase “simulated ketchup flavour.” The important thing here is that they don’t really taste all that much like ketchup (“ketchup”). They’re kind of like vinegar chips crossed with barbecue chips crossed with, well, ketchup. Only good! Much better than you’re imagining! It’s like really gross food, only made by Jesus. Also, they float. A-

what planet did you say you were from again?

Show me! Show you!Kikkoman

Kikkoman! Kikkoman!

He came from the planet of soy

Warrior of justice, Kikkoman!

Yes, that’s what the world truly needs: a bisexual, fish-headed, soy-based sauce-themed beefcake porn cartoon superhero with a motorcycle, a white cat, a youthful “ward,” a seductive female adversary, a loincloth, and a propensity for standing on top of telephone poles in high winds. Look, up in the sky…it’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a suspiciously elevated white loincloth!

life as we know it

Tick

 

I really do need to get out more. Eight posts yesterday, so scroll back and enjoy? I think I actually have a sitting overuse injury.