Linkie o’ the Day: Brazilians in, Pube-fro’s out, WHY?

Sim-ply PubicFrom Nerve. And I'm proud to say I was on Nerve back when the Internet was only a twinkle in some nerd's eyes. Of course, I'm lying, but I'm still proud to say it. I really should work in Hollywood, you know.

True, there's a lot to be said for depilation. Besides the controlling-BO argument and the no-picking-hairs-out-of-your-teeth argument, one could also argue that it's the ultimate in nudity: You're never more naked than when you're shorn of your natural covering. Finally, there's the market value: Sex has become more than a matter of desire — it's also a commodity and a signifier of sophistication. When we take our clothes off, we're performing — and we want to look good on stage. By manscaping the growth whose appearance first marked the change to adulthood, the body is civilized and controlled. Ironically, though, if "body Forestiera pubes. PUBES! PUBES! PUBES!hair" equates to "sex," the smoother we are, the less sexual we are, too. Behind the current fashion for smoothness is the fact that even at our most liberated, we remain fundamentally frightened of our animal natures.

Speak for yourself. Anyone who interviews Norman Mailer and doesn't punch that bitch out is obviously a born feeb.

Market Report: Vegans up, Texans and Albertans way, way down

NosferatuForget the market for virgins; the hottest new opportunity is the market for vegans! Because of breaking news in the Guardian that Mad Cow Disease has been transmitted through tainted human blood products, the body-juice of a vegan is now far more valuable than the potentially-deadly, germ-soupy gore of a carnivore. Per pint, vegans are now worth several times as much as meat-eaters on the open market, to say nothing of the back alleys of Whitechapel and the farther reaches of Transylvania.

Hmmm, some of my clean-living friends had better watch their backs. The next time someone squeezes you in a crowded bar, maybe he's just trying to see how juicy you are. Try not to squish, okay?

The government has been forced to warn 14 Jack the Medical Laboratory Techniciancountries that patients are in danger of developing the human form of mad cow disease as a result of contaminated British blood products sold abroad.

Documents released under the Freedom of Information Act show that patients in Brazil and Turkey are most at risk from the products, although it is too early to know how many, if any, foreign patients may develop the incurable variant CJD, as it takes many years to appear…

The contaminated blood products were exported in the 1990s…Health authorities then had to re-examine blood products sent abroad by the state-owned company Bio Products Laboratory (BPL)

Working Out Your Own Salvation With Xena: Warrior Princess Or, The Renewing of Ego Ideals in Syndication

Whodathunk a scholarly paper on Xena: Warrior Princess Xena is watching. And that bitch will cut you!existed? But, knowing that as you now do, is it any surprise it's written by a raving Xeniac?

Author's Note: Watching Xena religiously has helped to keep me relatively sane over the past four years while I have been working towards my Ph.D. in Religion and Personality at Vanderbilt. This paper started life as a term paper on the first season episode TIES THAT BIND (20/120) for a course on Freud and religion in 1996. It was radically condensed and reorganized last Fall (with the help of this fine, on-line publication) in order to be included in a panel on "Women and Religion in Popular Culture" at the annual meeting of the American Academy of Religion on November 21, 1998. Prof. Sheila Briggs did not present her paper on "Xena Crucified: Christology and Post-Colonial Theory" until two days later, so I had the unexpected pleasure of delivering the first Xena research paper at the A.A.R. Since I was writing for Xenite and non-Xenite members of the academy, please forgive those portions that seem to be preaching to the converted, or belaboring the obvious.

Okay, now, to a certain extent I understand the desire to, upon realizing just how many hours you've wasted watching cartoon T&A Sapphic dramady, get something out of it, if only a scholarly paper for Vanderbilt. When I had cancer I'd watch Hercules four times a day, but then the chemo I was on was so strong that, by the time the last episode came on I'd have forgotten I'd seen it at 10 that morning, and enjoyed it all over again in a happy, chemically-induced stupor.

But there's fans and then there's fans. Behold, the horror that is Working Out Your Own Salvation With Xena: Warrior Princess Or, The Renewing of Ego Ideals in Syndication

Introduction (01-05)
A Trojan Horse Opera (06-13)
The Iliad and Theodicy (14-19)
Xena, the Bezerker (20-29)
If You Killed Your Friends and Family, Who Would Bring You Casseroles? (30-31)
Humanizing the Enemy (32-38)
Working Out Your Own Salvation (39-41)
Notes
Bibliography
Biography

Xena Sees You; Xena Sees All!

Hack Attack: Stephen Harper Eats Babies!

Well, no real surprise there. Except that it's the work of a hacker; somebody busted into the computers controlling the the largest transit system in North America and got a little…creative. At least, there's no objective proof he's telling the truth. Yet.

Stephen! Harper! Eats! Babies!

PSA: “Sloppy Seconds With Opal Mehta” Fake Writing Contest

Via Gawker. Ruth Shalit, Old Skool Cut 'n Paster!

Inspired by the need for quality plagiarism, the Morning News announces its “Sloppy Seconds With Opal Mehta” contest. This is not for the recreational copy-cat: using no less than five different books, your entry must total 750 words, none of which are your own. You may not plagiarize single words, but actual phrases, sentences, or passages, and all your material must be cited.

To remind them that this was “the moment ethics in writing died,” winners will have their story published on TMN and will receive a TMN mug, t-shirt, and a $500,000 two-book deal.

Steal This Book, and That Book, and That Book [TMN]