professor raincoaster’s little lectures: WordPress 105, Pages vs Posts

professor raincoasterToday, class, we are going to discuss Pages versus Posts.

This is a Post. A blog post. Pretty much all of WordPress is blog posts, as WordPress is blogging software and a blog host. Your posts go in chronological order from oldest (at the bottom of the page) to freshest, and if you're using a template there's fuckall you can do about the way they're displayed.

But.

There are other things, called Pages. These aren't streamed the way blog posts are; they just sit there in cyberspace all by themselves, totally separate from the blog posts, although joined by a link in the sidebar. If you go to the sidebar, you'll see you have a link for Pages, and right now this thing just has some boilerplate text from WordPress in it. Click on it and check it out. It says:

About

This is an example of a WordPress page, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many pages like this one or sub-pages as you like and manage all of your content inside of WordPress.

which is, indeed, true. Pages are like separate pages on a website, as opposed to blog posts that are all strung together. You can, if you want to get advanced, nest Pages inside Pages, but that's a lesson for another time. We're blogging here, not building websites. Different.

You should use a Page rather than a Post for anything permanently relevant, anything you want people to be able to access from anyplace in your blog. Examples would be an "About Me" or bio page, "My goals and aspirations" for an inspirational journal, "Books that guide my life" or, as I have, "Terrorist Alert Levels." Whatever goes in a Page should be something that isn't time-dependent, as it'll be displayed with equal importance as long as your blog exists.

You write a Page just the way you write a Post. When you click New Post or Write you get to a writing page; at the top you'll see two tabs, Write Post and Write Page. Write Post is the default, but if you click Write Page you will write a page and it will get listed under Pages on your sidebar. All the functions for writing Pages are exactly the same as for writing Posts, so you've got everything you need to just go for it.

If you find you've totally fucked up, you can always go back to Edit and click Delete Page, which you have to scroll down to see, but it is there. Right now, I suggest you go to the boilerplate (prefab) Page, click Edit, and replace that text with something of your own. And while you're at it, do the same with the first, boilerplate Post that WordPress stuck in your blog, unless you've already edited it to something useful. Think of it like hanging pictures in a new apartment; it won't really look like your place until you're done.

Today in Enteroctopus Dofleini Movie News: It Came from Beneath the Sea

Captain Nemo and the Giant Pacific OctopusHere it comes.
[sho' nuff]

What is it?
[the Giant Pacific Octopus]

Is it real?
[no, it is an early work by Ray Harryhausen, master model monster]

A Tidalwave of Terror Engulfs the Screen as the Raging Monster from the Dawn of Creation Attacks the World of Man.
[they just don't alliterate and hyperbolize like they used to – Michael Bay excepted]

IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA!!!

The H-bomb Blasted It Loose from the Depths of the Pacific, But Not Even the H-bomb Can Kill It.
[because we have to work out our existential nuclear guilt somehow]

San Francisco Doomed!
[Save the Filmore!]

Golden Gate Bridge Uprooted!
[Tacoma Narrows 2.0!]

Buildings Topple!
[Yeah, I'm thinking the time is right for a comeback for this flick]

Thousands Die in Streets!
[see above]

West Coast Reels Under Holocaust as the Men and Weapons of the Atomic Age Battle to the Death Against the Ageless Monster of the Deep
[five bucks on the ageless monster of the deep]

WHAT CITY WILL BE NEXT?
[is this voting-enabled?]

mug shot o’ the week: the hobbit poisoner

The Hobbit Poisoner

Yes indeedy, according to The Smoking Gun, teenage Rosie Cotton-lookalike Katherine Smith was understudying a fifteen-year-old for the lead in a high school play when she decided to take the casting into her own hands.

Having spread the word to family and friends that she was actually playing the lead in the school's production of the no-doubt immortal "Ha," she then dosed the actual star's Mountain Dew with Clorox bleach.

Ah, if Bruce Springsteen gets ahold of this story, teenage ballads will never be the same.

Perhaps he should collaborate with Nick Cave.

Smith, who used an eye dropper to place bleach in the 20-ounce soda bottle, told a school administrator that she wanted to harm the lead actress "so she could not perform in the play." Smith's plot was thwarted when the girl smelled an unusual odor emanating from the Dew. Pictured [above] in a Tarrant County Sheriff's Office mug shot, Smith faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted of the spiking bid.

Linkie o’ the Day: Shaw ’nuff sucks

Actually, unlike the party responsible for this website,Shaw Wank I ain't nevah had a problem with my Shaw connection, except that one time I had been…celebrating…and didn't notice I'd kicked the modem behind my printer, slightly loosening the connections in the process. Nonetheless, this person does seem somewhat less than thrilled with the level of service he's received. Let's go to the web copy:

Shaw Wankspace

Hey. Got Milk? Better yet, Got Shaw?If you're reading this page then you probably know that when Shaw goes down, it goes down like a two bit whore.

Pointed. Yes, one would have to say pointed. This guy should never, ever try VCN. Not only does it go down at least twice a week, but it stays down for hours and when it comes back up all you get are sanctimonious whines from the staff about how they're all volunteer. Now, I'm a volunteer. I'm all for volunteerism. But let's set some kind of floor of competence, shall we? For lo, cluelessness is not endearing, particularly when my article misses the deadline because you're such a giggling incomp.

Gee, people used to get all het up over religion. Now we have ISPs instead. Nietzche was right.