Daily Archives: June 20, 2006

Your Daily Squid

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From the Stick Figures in Peril pool on Flickr, via BoingBoing.

Squid Alert!

Overheard on Gawker

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that Overheard in New York is being gamed by out-of-towners. The horror! The horror! Here's what Gawker's intrepid (can you imagine, she was noting things to blog about while vacationing! we certainly don't know anyone like that around here) not-offically-a-reporter-but-rather-a-blogger discovered last week.

So we caught up with our old college friend Ben while we were on vacation last week, and he excitedly informed us they’d he’d recently made it onto Overheard in New York…

He’d been in New York and hadn’t called? No, Ben explained, it was actually Brian’s story; Ben thought it would be good for Overheard and so submitted it. Brian lives in New York now? No, Ben continued, Brian lives in Florida. So how did Brian’s story, not-actually-overheard in Florida by Ben, make it onto Overheard in New York.

“Oh, said I heard it in Central Park.” Ben smiled.

I guarantee that all Overheards (over)written in these pages…uh, pixels, were actually overheard. By me. Here. Unless I say they were there. Like, not New York there, but elsewhere there. You know what I mean and don't get existential with me young man! 

Overheard in Chinatown

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A four-year-old girl trying to teach her very Cantonese grandmother some crucial English phrases. There's nothing quite so Vancouver as the following exchange:

Toddler: "Okay Grandma, say this."

Grandmother, hesitantly: "O-kay" 

Toddler: "I need a coffee!"

Grandmother: "I nee a coffee!"

Toddler: "I seriously need a coffee!"

Grandmother: "I seri-uly nee a coffee!"

That kid knows this city like the back of her hand. Fuck "Call the police" or "Where is the ladies' room," she's got her Vancouver priorities straight. 

WWFSMWear?

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Perhaps He would wear this spiffy Flying Spaghetti Monster Crocheted Hat. Self-referential, sure, but great for keeping the ol’ strands cosy and dry.

FSM chapeau

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Hat

The Pope has a special hat. Rabbis have special hats. Rastafarians have special hats. Why not Pastafarians?

This hat is crocheted (I assume you could knit something similar). Unfortunately, I don’t how to write patterns — my grandma taught me how to crochet in a rather freeform manner (she also made the best spaghetti and meatballs, EVER – coincidence?). So here’s a very rough guide…

Fsm hat front view

Now put on your hat and waggle your noodly appendages in His name — you’re warm, blessed, and look like a complete dork. AMEN.

Modeling hat

I’m sure she meant to say RAmen.

Meanwhile, I think we can see in this video an unheralded, early sighting of FSM Himself. His vengence is terrible: I miss the Swedish Chef so much…

bartending 101 and bartending -101

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The 5 steps to bartending. I think this song is Italian, but I am unsure. Yes, I know the text is English. Smartass. 

And here's a really good example of what not to do when you're tending bar. You're not in Cirque du Soleil, dammit; I only asked for a Jack Manhattan!