Perhaps He would wear this spiffy Flying Spaghetti Monster Crocheted Hat. Self-referential, sure, but great for keeping the ol’ strands cosy and dry.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Hat

The Pope has a special hat. Rabbis have special hats. Rastafarians have special hats. Why not Pastafarians?

This hat is crocheted (I assume you could knit something similar). Unfortunately, I don’t how to write patterns — my grandma taught me how to crochet in a rather freeform manner (she also made the best spaghetti and meatballs, EVER – coincidence?). So here’s a very rough guide…

Now put on your hat and waggle your noodly appendages in His name — you’re warm, blessed, and look like a complete dork. AMEN.

I’m sure she meant to say RAmen.

Meanwhile, I think we can see in this video an unheralded, early sighting of FSM Himself. His vengence is terrible: I miss the Swedish Chef so much…