From Bleat and the Monkees
this is what they were talking about when they invented the word “groovy“
Daily Archives: August 5, 2006
forget the metal detector: where’s the intelligence detector
Although I think in this case it might be superfluous. No point dragging the thing out when you already know it’s gonna register a big goose egg.
Guess how drunk this guy was…
Dankovic told mates that sword swallowing was easy and anyone could do it – they challenged him to prove it.
But he had to be rushed to the local hospital after swallowing a knife with an eight inch blade, eight nails, two spoons and a couple of clothes pegs to win the ten pound bet.
Ten pounds? What was that, win-all-you-can-eat? The scrap metal market has become entirely too competitive for my liking.
“My girlfriend has told me she hopes they got everything out, we are planning to fly on holiday next month and she doesn’t want me getting stopped by the airport metal detector.”
Isn’t that sweet? He’s found someone who will stand by him in times of trouble. Someone stupid enough to stand by him in times of completely devastating, meaningless trouble he brought upon himself in a drunken stupor.
Any chance the doctors performed a quick Malthusian snip while he was out? For the sake of the Serbian gene pool, let us hope so.
claws across the ocean
In what can only be interpreted as a conscious effort from God to show us that mutants are crustaceans too, no matter where on the sea floor they may scuttle furtively, both the States and the UK have gifted us this week with bizarre freaks, and for once I am not talking about Bush & Blair.
A “mutant” crab with three pincers has been
picked up off the Cornish coast.
Fisherman Jeff Brown caught the 20cm (7.8in) edible crab three miles off Portreath and realising its rarity, handed it into a Newquay aquarium.
The crab, christened Claudette by the Blue Reef aquarium staff, will be quarantined for several days before going on show.
I’m so glad they stressed that it’s an edible crab, because if there’s one thing I’m looking for in a nice seafood salad, it’s the possibility of random, freakish and poorly-understood genetic mutations.
A visitor at Percy’s General Store on Popham Beach is the talk of the town. It’s a rare yellow
lobster, hauled up Monday morning by David Percy.
David caught the lobster near Whaleback Island at the mouth of the Kennebec River. But he’s not the only lobsterman who found a surprise in his traps in the past few days. Just last week, Shane Hatch found a yellow lobster in a trap he set near Rockland. Scientists say the odds of finding a yellow lobster are in the millions.
“Well, its actually about one in thirty million. So its actually thirty times rarer than a blue lobster. And its just a color morph that happens to be a rare,” said Jonathan Grabowski from the Gulf of Maine Research Institute.
Let them try!
They’ll never come up with anything as frickin’ cool as:
Drumroll, please!
The two-toned and psychadelic, half-baked Fungi from Yuggoth By Way of the Gaspe Peninsula.
Radio(head), Radio(head)
In accordance with the raincoaster blog’s policy of culture jamming, petard-hoisting those who don’t stand by their own words, and doing whatever the hell we want, we are happy to repost here Thom Yorke’s anti-Tony Blair rant, which was posted on Radiohead’s blog and almost immediately taken down.
We are all about being on the record here. So, for the record, we stole this report from Sploid!
“I’ve had enough of this,” the songwriter wrote on Radiohead‘s blog. “Our government’s sitting on the fence with the U.S. while World War 3 appears to be breaking out in Lebanon and Northern Israel. We must throw Tony Blair out of office NOW. He does not represent the views of British people. He does not represent the views of his foreign office and officials.”
Yorke added that Blair “cares far too much about his relationship with Bush and Murdoch.”
…
“This man is not fit to be our prime minister,” Yorke concluded. “It’s a nice sunny day. Come on, let’s do it. You know it makes sense. A vote of no confidence. Or something. Anything.”But the call to action mysteriously vanished from Radiohead.com on Thursday. Nobody in the band will explain what happened to the message, so Radiohead fans and the music press are left to wonder if certain sinister forces are at work.
The T-Factor: the thc factor
I don’t know what they’re smoking across the pond, but it’s 
gotta be pretty strong. From Norway to Zakynthos, tourists are endangering hundreds of human lives.
Where is the outrage???
An airline issued a “zero tolerance” warning today after a spate of bad behaviour by sun-seeking Britons.
Thomas Cook Airlines staff have already had to deal with passengers turning up drunk for check-in, making jokes about bombs in luggage, refusing to sit for take-off and smoking in toilets.
In the most serious incident, a passenger opened the door of a Boeing 757 as it pulled up at Zakynthos Airport last Thursday.
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A bus carrying 40 elderly French tourists toppled into a ditch by a motorway in central Norway on Tuesday after passengers demanded the driver get closer to a moose grazing by the roadside so they could take snapshots, police said.
…
The injured woman was examined at the local hospital and the motorway was briefly shut down. The moose, which was unharmed, was seen skipping away into the forest, Kaapvik added.
I’ll tell you exactly where the outrage is: it’s at home watching reruns, and it’s not getting up off the sofa for this, for lo, the lives endangered were in both cases only those of other tourists.
You say “tragic accident,” I say “cull.”
raincoaster 