No, your story has changed. At first they were wild horses. All wild-like. And you parked until they were off the road. Then they were farmer’s horses who’d just wandered out. At some point they morphed into band horses; I think after you talked to Barb. At some point you said you got off the car and shooed them off the road. At another, later point, you claimed to have put them in the field. When I asked for specifics so I could nail down exactly what the story was, you claimed I was obsessed and refused to answer. Did you put the horses in the field like you claimed, and if you did, did you secure the gate behind them? Simple questions to which I haven’t gotten a straight answer.

I’m cool with that. Just concerned for your liver, that’s all.

I’ll lay off the calling the cops on animals thing when Metro stops changing his story. Any day now I expect him to inform me that the horses disregarded his instructions to get off the highway because they only spoke a dialect of Ojibwa.