Britney Spears(?) sex tape trailer

hey y'all! I'm not trashy!

UPDATE: golly, this sure seems to be a popular post. Wonder if anyone will read the rest of our posts about Britney and this notorious video.

Yup, yesterday she lost her claim that the very rumour of the tape’s existence is defamatory (judge’s reasoning: come on people, she’s Britney Spears! Like she wouldn’t bang the hell out of her husband on tape while he watched the playoffs or something. Puh-leeze!) and today, the first full day of her official long march to divorce, nineteen seconds of that rumoured to be alleged Britney Spears reported “sex tape” has been posted to PornoTube, and is up on Fleshbot.

Verdict: sure looks like her, in her black-haired phase. This was, therefore, and completely hypothetically, post-impregnation, somewhere around the time of the Harper’s Bazaar cover shot, meaning Britney, if it was Britney, would have been six or more months along. UPDATE: Titania on Gawker notes that her hair was dyed dark for her wedding as well, so this could be from the honeymoon. You can’t tell from this part; you don’t get to see the woman’s body. And you can’t see the guy’s face at all…that’s not where the camera and the woman are focused, if you get my meaning, nudge nudge.

Come one, come all. Or rather, “y’all.”

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50 thoughts on “Britney Spears(?) sex tape trailer

  1. Pingback: Britney loses weight: 180 pounds! « raincoaster

  2. yeah, and kfed doesn’t seem like the type to reciprocate, so he can’t complain. it’s pretty dull though. all these celeb sex tapes are kind of the same, pretty vanilla. it would be nice to see some more creative action, given the goods they have to work with.

  3. Seriously. Like, don’t these rich people watch porn? You’d think they’d have picked something up from all the hookers. Don Simpson was rumoured to have some pretty wild tapes, but they were all burned after he had his fatal bowel movement. I wonder what Charlie Sheen and Billy Idol have, though. I heard Billy was so good the women would fight to get sent over there.

  4. i’m waiting for the willie nelson 3-dvd home video box set. which, given what i’ve heard, probably covers just one long night of continuous, stoned coitus.

  5. Engraved upon the cover of the included two-volume booklet, photo album and lyric set is the warning:

    “Lines on television are not due to faulty televison, to erratic DVD reader, or to quality of the hash you smoked tonight; HE”S EIGHTY-BLOODY-ODD, people!”

  6. Britney sex tape seems to be attracting a lot of interest. Amazing . I have just browsed though a few bits here and just for once i understand most of it . I like your own comments best myself

  7. Gawker is reporting, via fleshbot, that the tape is NOT brittney. which means that the real brittney sex tape is still out there somewhere and may indeed be more interesting than this one. we can only hope…

  8. It’s NOT Britney? Well whoever it is it sure looks a lot like her. It’s not a pornstar: a pornstar would be better at this.

    That’ll teach me to sleep 20 hours!

    newmania, thanks for the compliments. I knew the Britney sex tape would come through for me, hit-wise, and I figured that Guido would appreciate my dropping it there. Definitely not Boris Blog material. It was only worth 167 hits, though, which is far less than I thought. If this keeps up, I’ll have no choice but to ramp it up and post something even more scandalous.

    Am I for or against pornography? I treat pornography like I do any other kind of communication; I analyze what’s the message, and how well is it presented? If the message is abhorrent, then as an absolutist I can condemn it, and am indeed obliged to. But sex itself isn’t abhorrent, so I dont’ have any particular problem with the depiction of sex, and I’m not morally opposed to sexual stimulation, so a film whose purpose is sexual stimulation doesn’t bother me any more than a film whose purpose is the furtherance of the career of Jim Carrey. I certainly condemn a lot of porn films for being crappy porn films, but then that’s along the same lines as why I condemn Charlie Sheen movies: they’re just no good.

  9. Pingback: Britney(?) sex tape not Britney « raincoaster

  10. You know, Britney, if I’m not mistaken used to hang around New York, coasting for her Momma..round off-Broadway, with her Mouse-ears all aslant! You couldn’t give her the time of day, back then…

    Now, look at her! The slut of all music video! What a changing of panties, this turned into…”Hit Me Baby, One More Time,” indeed!

    I’m new here. Hope I didn’t offend any virgin ears…spank Britney, and let’s give three cheers to nycguy!

    damn, I’m good.

    xx,nycguy.

  11. Not a problem. I suspect there are very few virgin ears around the raincoaster blog.

    I actually have a workout video from Crunch that I’m pretty sure has Britney in the back row, nearly overbalancing with her new boobs. I think they should count as five-pound weights!

  12. Pingback: save Britney's sex tape! « raincoaster

  13. Pingback: Operation Global Media Domination: operation indemnification « raincoaster

  14. Excusez-moi, Monsieur Merdre

    UND was ist das Problem mit the Lady Margaret

    Does one detect a certain Envy, just because the Over-Ponders seem intellektuelly unable to elect a Supreme Leader with a 10th of the calibre of the Lady HandBag-Wielder or of the Good Elizabeth of England France & Ireland, Queen

  15. @G Eagle:

    For the purposes being debated on this thread, Lady Thatcher is entirely unsuited. In fact, when she at last succumbs to market forces and goes to join that Common Market in the sky, the net sexiness of the human race will increase a fraction.

    To put it bluntly, to find Maggie sexy one would have to be a blind masochist. And the US did elect someone a tenth the calibre of Lady Maggie. His name is Dubya.

  16. Boy did this get out of hand. ;) My point was simply that Britney is such a skank she makes Madonna look classy. But it was three o’clock in the morning when I wrote that comment, and for some reason, Margaret Thatcher was the only classy woman I could think of. Audrey Hepburn was a much better choice for this analogy.

    -smith

  17. Oh, what a difference a consonant makes. Who’s with me?

    Ok, you got me there. Perhaps if you were to tell which comment you’re alluding to it would help. I know, I’m being lazy, but my brain hurts.

    -smith

  18. Oh, yes, that one! Yes, I did see that, and for a moment I, too, came to that conclusion, but I really think it was just a typo.

    Who would have thought the mere mention of Margaret Thatcher could still inspire such passion in men’s breasts? ;>)

    -smith

  19. Well, times are tough over the pond. Princess Beatrice is considered a beauty there…which of course she WOULD be, in any good Hunter/Jumper class.

  20. Pingback: Operation Global Media Domination: the Banksy Situation « raincoaster

  21. The one in the Tape is not Britney. I ‘m Briteny fan, stop spreading humors about her. Some people are so naughty that they forget thinking about her children.
    That is the reason why Britney’s going crazy.

  22. MY COMMENT I TRIED YO POST ON RAINCOASTER AWS NOT NOT REALLY A DUPLICATE COMMENT /// THERE WAS NEW INFO IN THE BLOG REFERENCING TWO GUYS IN A NEW COMMERCIAL ABOUT ME AND FOR ME A AGAIN FROM LAS VEGAS REGARDING A FEW ,ISSED WEEKENDS./.. PROFOUND AND A FEW MISSED CHAPTERS IN MY BOOK DES[ITE THE FACT I HAVE BEEN IN VEGAS 9 TIMES IN THE LAS 12 YRS TO NO AVAIL// THANKS IMMENSELY DENNIS BONO… AND YIKES AND MAYOR GOODMAN ETC. MISSED WEEKENDS ANSD SKIPPED CHAPTERS FROM MY BOOK”’ GDP

  23. Hallo, Britney Spears finden wir total sexy. Sie hat eine gute Aussehen in allen Richtungen. Die Anziehungskraft ist enorm. Wir mögen Sie gern :-)

  24. Hello, Britney Spears, we find totally sexy. She has a good look in all directions. The attraction is enormous. We love you like :-)

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