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Britney Spears(?) sex tape trailer

hey y'all! I'm not trashy!

UPDATE: golly, this sure seems to be a popular post. Wonder if anyone will read the rest of our posts about Britney and this notorious video.

Yup, yesterday she lost her claim that the very rumour of the tape’s existence is defamatory (judge’s reasoning: come on people, she’s Britney Spears! Like she wouldn’t bang the hell out of her husband on tape while he watched the playoffs or something. Puh-leeze!) and today, the first full day of her official long march to divorce, nineteen seconds of that rumoured to be alleged Britney Spears reported “sex tape” has been posted to PornoTube, and is up on Fleshbot.

Verdict: sure looks like her, in her black-haired phase. This was, therefore, and completely hypothetically, post-impregnation, somewhere around the time of the Harper’s Bazaar cover shot, meaning Britney, if it was Britney, would have been six or more months along. UPDATE: Titania on Gawker notes that her hair was dyed dark for her wedding as well, so this could be from the honeymoon. You can’t tell from this part; you don’t get to see the woman’s body. And you can’t see the guy’s face at all…that’s not where the camera and the woman are focused, if you get my meaning, nudge nudge.

Come one, come all. Or rather, “y’all.”

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42 Comments

  1. Posted November 8, 2006 at 6:48 pm | Permalink

    that is some very weak oral action. maybe she’s camera shy?

  2. Posted November 8, 2006 at 7:03 pm | Permalink

    Nah, I think that she’s just doing the best she can. Girl needs training. I imagine there will be plenty of volunteers, though.

  3. Posted November 8, 2006 at 7:13 pm | Permalink

    yeah, and kfed doesn’t seem like the type to reciprocate, so he can’t complain. it’s pretty dull though. all these celeb sex tapes are kind of the same, pretty vanilla. it would be nice to see some more creative action, given the goods they have to work with.

  4. Posted November 8, 2006 at 7:21 pm | Permalink

    Seriously. Like, don’t these rich people watch porn? You’d think they’d have picked something up from all the hookers. Don Simpson was rumoured to have some pretty wild tapes, but they were all burned after he had his fatal bowel movement. I wonder what Charlie Sheen and Billy Idol have, though. I heard Billy was so good the women would fight to get sent over there.

  5. Posted November 8, 2006 at 7:30 pm | Permalink

    i’m waiting for the willie nelson 3-dvd home video box set. which, given what i’ve heard, probably covers just one long night of continuous, stoned coitus.

  6. Posted November 8, 2006 at 7:32 pm | Permalink

    Good lord! You’d need eyebleach, though.

  7. Posted November 8, 2006 at 10:59 pm | Permalink

    Engraved upon the cover of the included two-volume booklet, photo album and lyric set is the warning:

    “Lines on television are not due to faulty televison, to erratic DVD reader, or to quality of the hash you smoked tonight; HE”S EIGHTY-BLOODY-ODD, people!”

  8. Posted November 9, 2006 at 12:09 am | Permalink

    Britney sex tape seems to be attracting a lot of interest. Amazing . I have just browsed though a few bits here and just for once i understand most of it . I like your own comments best myself

  9. Posted November 9, 2006 at 12:12 am | Permalink

    Are you for or against pornography ?

  10. Posted November 9, 2006 at 12:56 am | Permalink

    Gawker is reporting, via fleshbot, that the tape is NOT brittney. which means that the real brittney sex tape is still out there somewhere and may indeed be more interesting than this one. we can only hope…

  11. Posted November 9, 2006 at 2:20 am | Permalink

    *waits to download* lmao

  12. Posted November 9, 2006 at 2:16 pm | Permalink

    It’s NOT Britney? Well whoever it is it sure looks a lot like her. It’s not a pornstar: a pornstar would be better at this.

    That’ll teach me to sleep 20 hours!

    newmania, thanks for the compliments. I knew the Britney sex tape would come through for me, hit-wise, and I figured that Guido would appreciate my dropping it there. Definitely not Boris Blog material. It was only worth 167 hits, though, which is far less than I thought. If this keeps up, I’ll have no choice but to ramp it up and post something even more scandalous.

    Am I for or against pornography? I treat pornography like I do any other kind of communication; I analyze what’s the message, and how well is it presented? If the message is abhorrent, then as an absolutist I can condemn it, and am indeed obliged to. But sex itself isn’t abhorrent, so I dont’ have any particular problem with the depiction of sex, and I’m not morally opposed to sexual stimulation, so a film whose purpose is sexual stimulation doesn’t bother me any more than a film whose purpose is the furtherance of the career of Jim Carrey. I certainly condemn a lot of porn films for being crappy porn films, but then that’s along the same lines as why I condemn Charlie Sheen movies: they’re just no good.

  13. Posted November 10, 2006 at 7:53 am | Permalink

    You know, Britney, if I’m not mistaken used to hang around New York, coasting for her Momma..round off-Broadway, with her Mouse-ears all aslant! You couldn’t give her the time of day, back then…

    Now, look at her! The slut of all music video! What a changing of panties, this turned into…”Hit Me Baby, One More Time,” indeed!

    I’m new here. Hope I didn’t offend any virgin ears…spank Britney, and let’s give three cheers to nycguy!

    damn, I’m good.

    xx,nycguy.

  14. Posted November 10, 2006 at 8:00 am | Permalink

    Not a problem. I suspect there are very few virgin ears around the raincoaster blog.

    I actually have a workout video from Crunch that I’m pretty sure has Britney in the back row, nearly overbalancing with her new boobs. I think they should count as five-pound weights!

  15. Posted November 10, 2006 at 8:29 am | Permalink

    Damn! You’re good too, Raincoaster!

    Bingo! W/Britney!
    Smooche,
    nycguy

  16. ISMAIL
    Posted May 16, 2007 at 2:16 pm | Permalink

    I NEED EVRY THINGS ABOUT BRITNEY

  17. Posted July 25, 2007 at 1:28 am | Permalink

    she is a hot fuckin babe i will have sex with her

  18. Posted July 25, 2007 at 2:14 am | Permalink

    Uh, seen a picture of her lately?

  19. mizo
    Posted September 4, 2007 at 9:58 pm | Permalink

    thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks

  20. michze
    Posted October 3, 2007 at 4:15 pm | Permalink

    Is this really her?
    http://pics.qweki.com/799aaa845e1c2e8a762b

  21. Posted October 7, 2007 at 12:24 am | Permalink

    you are sexy i love you a sex parnter

  22. Posted October 7, 2007 at 9:15 am | Permalink

    A Britney sex partner? Who, exactly, does that rule out?

  23. Jake
    Posted October 24, 2007 at 4:31 pm | Permalink

    Here is a link download the sex tape :-)
    UPDATE: edited out

    Dood, it’s not her!

  24. cake head
    Posted November 14, 2007 at 2:16 am | Permalink

    damn she is hot as hell i would fuck that ass

  25. joe
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 2:33 pm | Permalink

    brintey i sure love fuck you in the ass for hours

  26. Posted July 3, 2008 at 5:22 am | Permalink

    Ahh, Britney Spears: Sweetheart of the Trailer Park. She makes Madonna look like Margaret Thatcher. ;)

    -smith

  27. Posted July 3, 2008 at 6:09 am | Permalink

    Margaret Thatcher is a grocer’s daughter. Britney makes Madonna look like Audrey Hepburn.

  28. Posted July 3, 2008 at 6:40 am | Permalink

    Oooo! Good analogy. I wish I’d thought of that one. ;)

  29. G Eagle Esq
    Posted July 3, 2008 at 5:02 pm | Permalink

    Excusez-moi, Monsieur Merdre

    UND was ist das Problem mit the Lady Margaret

    Does one detect a certain Envy, just because the Over-Ponders seem intellektuelly unable to elect a Supreme Leader with a 10th of the calibre of the Lady HandBag-Wielder or of the Good Elizabeth of England France & Ireland, Queen

  30. Posted July 3, 2008 at 7:49 pm | Permalink

    @G Eagle:

    For the purposes being debated on this thread, Lady Thatcher is entirely unsuited. In fact, when she at last succumbs to market forces and goes to join that Common Market in the sky, the net sexiness of the human race will increase a fraction.

    To put it bluntly, to find Maggie sexy one would have to be a blind masochist. And the US did elect someone a tenth the calibre of Lady Maggie. His name is Dubya.

  31. Posted July 3, 2008 at 10:58 pm | Permalink

    Boy did this get out of hand. ;) My point was simply that Britney is such a skank she makes Madonna look classy. But it was three o’clock in the morning when I wrote that comment, and for some reason, Margaret Thatcher was the only classy woman I could think of. Audrey Hepburn was a much better choice for this analogy.

    -smith

  32. Posted July 4, 2008 at 12:25 am | Permalink

    Oh, what a difference a consonant makes. Who’s with me?

  33. Posted July 5, 2008 at 2:30 am | Permalink

    Oh, what a difference a consonant makes. Who’s with me?

    Ok, you got me there. Perhaps if you were to tell which comment you’re alluding to it would help. I know, I’m being lazy, but my brain hurts.

    -smith

  34. Posted July 5, 2008 at 2:46 am | Permalink

    http://raincoaster.com/2006/11/08/britney-spears-sex-tape-trailer/#comment-260319

    This one. How’s your French? I thought for a second G. Eagle was being uncharacteristically impolite.

  35. Posted July 5, 2008 at 3:53 am | Permalink

    Oh, yes, that one! Yes, I did see that, and for a moment I, too, came to that conclusion, but I really think it was just a typo.

    Who would have thought the mere mention of Margaret Thatcher could still inspire such passion in men’s breasts? ;>)

    -smith

  36. Posted July 5, 2008 at 4:08 am | Permalink

    Well, times are tough over the pond. Princess Beatrice is considered a beauty there…which of course she WOULD be, in any good Hunter/Jumper class.

  37. ork
    Posted August 9, 2008 at 3:31 am | Permalink

    thanksssssss

  38. Posted September 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    think about what her children will think wen dey google their mom…..they need 2 b protected frm this tape…

  39. holmes
    Posted December 31, 2008 at 9:34 pm | Permalink

    shes hot shes not and shes still a slut

  40. Posted March 11, 2009 at 11:14 am | Permalink

    The one in the Tape is not Britney. I ‘m Briteny fan, stop spreading humors about her. Some people are so naughty that they forget thinking about her children.
    That is the reason why Britney’s going crazy.

  41. upendra
    Posted March 27, 2009 at 3:31 am | Permalink

    I Need Briteny Becouse this is my Only Best Friend

  42. upendra
    Posted March 27, 2009 at 3:32 am | Permalink

    Hey, I best Friend Briteny


5 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. [...] Oh, and the news about the sex tape is here. [...]

  2. [...] Awwww. Turns out that the rumoured “Britney sex tape” isn’t Britney. Fleshbot has the final word, as well as the actual video, so satisfy your… curiosity yeah, that’s it, curiosity, with this link. [...]

  3. [...] A mythical sex tape we have covered before at the ol’ raincoaster blog. [...]

  4. [...] rants, Humour, Games, geek, humor, Sex, sad, Censorship, Entertainment, music) Look, people, it’s FAKE. It’s not her. Now will you please either go away or read more posts on the [...]

  5. [...] let it cool down for awhile) on this blog the #1 post in terms of hits, year after year, has been Britney Spears Sex Tape, which, once I realized wasn’t Britney in it at all but rather someone else who looked like [...]

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