Kate Winslett was up for two, and having won one of them, obviously didn’t think she had any chance of winning the second. When her name was read out for The Reader, she was so drunk, two minders had to hoist her up the stairs, and I mean hoist…. as they lifted her up one each side, her feet were dragging along the ground.

Hyperventilating and gasping like a monster blowfish, and blubbing for the rest of the time, she made the huge mistake of forgetting the name of Angelina Jolie, who hissed like a cobra. Magic.