It seems so long ago that legendary beauties Kate Moss and Sophie Dahl were discovered in England; things are apparently very different now.
Ladies and gentlemen, stop what you’re doing. While we have all been going mindlessly about our daily business, perhaps dropping a dime into a beggar’s cap, writing a cheque for Darfur, protesting the Iraq invasion, or tithing to Greenpeace, a silent crisis has been brewing in the United Kingdom.
Your dollars, your rubles, your rupiahs: they will not solve this terrible problem. Indeed, they seem to have pounds galore, more than they know how to spend properly: this commodity is more precious. Money cannot solve this. There is only one thing that can.
Gentle readers, click upon the link I shall give you, and as you do so, realize that in the land that gave the world the Spice Girls, this is what currently rents for £640 an hour. Keep the eyewash handy, people.
Book your flights now: do your part for England. Or at least, share your parts with England.
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Two of the best quotes I’ve seen all week:
One said: “Diane is a pleasant woman — but she’s no oil painting.”
A council spokesman said: “An inquiry has been launched.”
Is pleasant worth £640 an hour? No wonder I’m so fucking poor, goddammit!
Look, over the pond they have Doctor Who (complete with the famous Who Companions. Over here we have Doctor Ruth: a little old lady who gives advice on oral sex–and doesn’t even eat pork!
Who would you rather get your lust lessons from?
I reckon it’s at 18 stone of one, 252 lbs of the other.
From what I hear of the latest one, you’d be just the Doctor’s type, Metro.
Besides, Dr Ruth is American: Super Sue is Canadian!
And when I accused my history teacher of being a whore, I got expelled. Where’s the justice?
I wonder whether she has been back to the classroom since the article was published?
I know I’d do my work and behave if she threatened me with being kept behind after school.
That last pun was almost FFE-worthy, Vicus. Congratulations.
Personally, I find it somewhat refreshing to see that a 50-year-old overweight woman is seen as an ‘object of desire’. ;)
Meanwhile, I doubt I’d actually want any of her ‘admirers’ within a 100km of me. Though she does have that internet biz going.
640 pounds sterling an hour, eh? Hmmm . . .
I wonder if her tongue is insured by Lloyd’s of London?
What the heck does Super Sue have to do with sex?
You’ve done it. You’ve finally managed to shock me (well there was that once with the radio in the bathtub, but never mind …)
Y’know, I always knew you were a filthy disgusting pervert, but now I mean that … like, in a bad way!
She, like all Canadians, learns the birds and the bees from Super Sue the Sexologist.
There are many attractive women over the age of 50 who are objects of desire. More to the point they have more … er … skills than the fresh faced neophytes.
Indeed. But this isn’t one of them. Unless she works entirely masked, one would think the going rate for her expertise would be negatively impacted by her looks, given that looks are factored into the pricing for prostitution.