Another episode in our favorite series of (cephalo)podcasts. Here is the Great Cthulhu taking viewer’s calls and dealing with telemarketers as we all wish we could.
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raincoaster
49 degrees latitude, 360 degrees attitude!
[...] by Adaen of Bridgewater on May 3rd, 2007 I have to give kudos to raincoaster for point this one out….I nearly spewed coffee. Uh oh, failed my sanity [...]
Where is this from?
So, uh, RC, what do you see when you watch it?
Dr Mike, it’s from R’lyeh.
Lori, I just see Cthulhu, plain old Cthulhu. And of course the gibbering hordes of ectoplasmic attendants who dance and flop endlessly in the spaces between what you would call “matter”. And of course Cher in the corner there; you can’t miss her.
So glad you posted this: Mme and I don’t have the Miskatonic Cable package, nor a non-euclidean television, so this is the only time we get to see the show.
You can’t just clairvoy it? Wow, what kind of a hookup do you have, anyway?
It’s an ancient stone, one of seven dragged from a small standing circle in France by an uncle of mine after he slaughtered 13 Nazis who were performing some kind of arcane rite in the centre. Apparently they were about to put the seventh stone in place and access some sort of interdimensional portal into hell? Anyway…
Upon his mysterious and gruesome death it passed into the care of the Lancashire County museum. But one night a group of Arab Ninjas of the Deadly Hashishim stole it, killing the curator, who was heard to utter with his last gasp “The stones must never … be … united … arrgh.”
However, being Hashishim they stopped for a snack on the way home, and the driver totally spaced and locked the keys in the van. A clever thief stole the van, which was later recovered and found to contain only his clothes and a sizeable amount of human blood.
The police contacted me and informed me, as I was the inheritor of the stone, that they’d be shipping it via ocean liner, but half-way across the liner apparently vanished, taking all aboard with it. By an odd stroke of luck the stone was washed up on the shore of the lake here, and local authorities could make out enough of the return address on the bubble wrap to get it to me.
So we plugged our TV into it, ‘cos that’s what you do, right? Anyway, the reception’s usually great–particularly the Hell channel (which looks a lot like Fox. Even a lot of the same hosts), and I get all the blacked-out Canucks games.
Unfortunately, it takes about a pint of innocent blood per month, and I’m running out of virgins to chain in the basement.
So Mme and I are looking into a digital package. It’s a little expensive, but I may be able to offset the cost.
I listed the stone on eBay, and I got one bid from a guy hight reincarnatednazi13_666. The bid was “anything … anything at all”. I think he’s some kinda crazy collector–he says he’s already got six of these things. His eBay rating isn’t terrific–one entry says he sent armoured clockwork assassins to steal the fifth stone from the highest bidder–but I think we can do business over PayPal.
So I think it’s all gonna work out.
Oh, don’t you hate that when the prehistoric menhirs wash up on the shores of Lake Okanagan? That Ogopogo has a LOT to answer for.
I think you should hold out for more money and the chance to be eaten first. Gots to be practical.
Speaking of which, I’ve given up on men entirely so I, too, am looking into purchasing a digital package to replace what I’ve been using.
Hey, This is Brand Gamblin from the C4C show. I just wanted to thank all you guys for your comments. It’s very encouraging to hear about people enjoying the show. We’re not exactly the biggest show on YouTube, or the most widely known, but it’s always great to hear that people like it.
Thanks again.
You’ll get there. None can resist the Power of the Great Old Ones.
Don’t you already have a digital device for replacing men, one at the end of each floppy, rubber-hose-school-of-animation, fish-belly-white, sucker-covered arm?
Not in the sense of battery-operated. Unless you mean the Versace Twins, when I threaten them with a beating.