Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu: complete text

Cthulhu motivational poster

What do you people think? Is he going after Cthulhu this time?

It’s just too bloody perfect, you know. The protagonist in The Call of Cthulhu was an aging archaeologist with a reputation for doing things his own way. With his trusty buddy, Inspector Legrasse, he crosses the globe, attempting to puzzle out the mysterious connection between a precious religious artifact, a cannibalistic cult of Louisiana swamp dwellers, and a vicious tribe of Greenland Esquimaux.

Blowing away forever all pretence to cool I may once have possessed, I have re-edited Howard Phillips Lovecraft‘s immortal Gothic tale The Call of Cthulhu, and placed at its heart a certain Midwestern academic who is, himself, no stranger to the strange.

Right-click, Save As:

Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu: complete text by raincoaster

Also: Indy in a hat. Still hawt?

indy

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24 thoughts on “Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu: complete text

  1. ScotsToryB says:

    Heh, heh. Plant seed. Await fruition!

    STB

  2. raincoaster says:

    Exactly. But I’ve been thinking about this for a good ten hours, since I saw it on Defamer.

  3. ScotsToryB says:

    Ten tentacles? Ten hours?

    Naughty, RC! You’re a very bad girl!

    STB

  4. raincoaster says:

    Hey, that’s how high I can count. What can I say?

  5. ScotsToryB says:

    No mean feet!?

    STB

  6. raincoaster says:

    Tentacles and pseudopods. No feet.

    Hey, do you think I could get disability?

  7. ScotsToryB says:

    Tentacles sure could make that wheelchair fly.

    STB

  8. Alas, the Inspector was never given cause to visit ancient Fremantle in Western Australia. He may have stumbled across the strange library I mentioned in fragment of a life which I wrote shortly before my unexplained death on the Swan River.

  9. PS – that was a brilliant bit of work – have you been hired as the scriptwriter yet?

  10. raincoaster says:

    I didn’t actually write it. I used Search and Replace to sub in Indy, and I tweaked it so he vanished, not died. That’s about it, really.

    Gee, sure would be nice if someone submitted this to Stumbleupon…

  11. anaglyph says:

    It’d be great if he was going after Cthulhu but Hollywood is nowhere near that hip.

  12. raincoaster says:

    Hey, I got the idea from Defamer; everyone there except me seems to work in Hollywood…and Lovecraft’s been adapted to film before. Never well, except In the Mouth of Madness, but that had the benefit of having Sam Neill in it, which always helps a film.

  13. amuirin says:

    The squid-faced monster depicted puts me in mind of the kracken/Davy Jones in the 2nd Pirates movie. You wouldn’t want similar monsters for these profitable franchises, but the story-line is a great idea.

  14. raincoaster says:

    Davy Jones was a total Cthluhu ripoff. They’re well aware that Lovecraft’s literary estate is not going to sue them. Cthluhu is a rather popular monster, in the world of monsters, that is. Not as well known as vampires, but then he was made up completely less than a hundred years ago.

  15. judyb12 says:

    Blowing away forever all pretence to cool I may once have possessed
    I’d have to agree. Sorry ;)

  16. judyb12 says:

    stumbled it anyway

  17. raincoaster says:

    Thank you. What care I for dignity when I can have immortal fame?

  18. judyb12 says:

    yes, well, that’s what i expect from you

  19. raincoaster says:

    We deliver according to specs.

  20. [...] Check it out below. To really get your Indy on, do the quizzes and finish off by checking out our own dear, sweet re-edit job: Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu. [...]

  21. [...] more Indianization, check out Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu (an updated classic! Cthulhu and Indy, together again for the first time) and our two Which Indiana [...]

  22. Philipa says:

    I’ve always thought Indy strangely attractive.

  23. raincoaster says:

    That’s not so strange.

  24. raincoaster says:

    I see quite a few people reading this post. Why don’t I hear any of them calling me, offering me big bucks for the script???? EH???

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