Samuel L. Jackson’s New Year’s Resolutions

Samuel L. Jackson. Sam is the man!

Basically, this is How to Be Badass 101, and who better to teach it than the king of Badass, Samuel L, eh? I’m stealing it from HighAdventureGames because they stole this from me and I’m badass. We take names and follow up.

Now, I know you might find it shocking that someone as cool and together as myself has New Year’s resolutions but believe it or not, there are things that even Samuel L. Jackson can improve upon. Forthwith – if I could have a little music, please. At the top of my list:

  • “Continue to kick ass“
  • And then I hope to “Be as bad as I know I can be“.
  • Also, to “Really put it out there, and by it I mean Sammy’s mojo”.
  • In addition, I plan to “Give it as good as I get it“, “Be all that and more“, and “Lose my shyness, vis a vis the rocket in my pocket“.
  • Plus, I plan to “Work my voodoo on the lady fans“, “Take a thorn out of some cat’s paw” and “Build a shrine to my own bad ass“.
  • Then, it’s time to “Give the demons what for“, “Spare the rod and spoil the face“, and “Continue to kick ass“.
  • After which, I’ll “Show the bad men what it’s all about“, “Release a dove from a ghetto rooftop“, and “Cradle a newborn baby in the ruins of a church“.
  • Finally, this year, I will “Stick it to all the suckas“.
  • And I’m gonna “Show the Man that I mean business“.
  • And I’m gonna “Take a computer class“.

[Saturday Night Live, December 1997]

Sadly, it appears that, although I am certainly badass, I am not Samuel L. Jackson. Well, who could be? The world could not stand twice that much cool.

 


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18 thoughts on “Samuel L. Jackson’s New Year’s Resolutions

  1. No need to check with me…Let’s just hope that SLJ is cool with us praying at the shrine’o'bad-ass though.

    Cheers,

    AoB

  2. raincoaster says:

    Someone tell Sam Jackson he’s my bro.

  3. withmalice says:

    “All right, vampire killers… let’s kill some fucking vampires. ”

    So, so cool. I *am* Seth Gecko.

  4. Hot damn! I’m a bigger badass than Samuel J, , if you go by the final resolution . . . .

    and this is one tasty burger. Can I have a drink of your refreshing beverage?

  5. and I was Bruce Campbell as Ash from “Army of Darkness’ – I always wanted a chainsaw for a hand.

    From the pic: “Braggart . . . coward . . . hero. You’re full of contradictions and nobody can figure which side you’re on. Hey, doesn’t matter. Good? Bad? You’re the guy with the gun.”

    At least it wasn’t Lucy Lawless this time . . .

  6. withmalice says:

    I dunno… Very, very pleased with getting ‘Seth Gecko’. Is there a cooler tough guy around than him? This really massaged my ego. ;)

  7. raincoaster says:

    We are all frickin’ coolness personified. We are BADASS!

  8. withmalice says:

    Frickin’? So my use of the ‘F’ word earlier was bad? Uh-oh… have I upset the Christian Right yet again?

  9. Yeah, but who’s cleaning out the back seat? And I ain’t wearing that UC Banana Slugs t-shirt, I don’t care how big a unit banana slugs carry . . . .

  10. raincoaster says:

    Trust me, they’re living vicariously through those banana slugs. They’re more “plantain” slugs if you know what I mean.

    WM: nah, sometimes you just don’t feel like fucking swearing, ya know?

  11. loricat says:

    “Whew!” ((Lori thinks to Self!)) “I had to get BB in that test or I’d lose all my geek-points!”

  12. raincoaster says:

    Lie. You’re not badass if you can’t lie convincingly.

  13. Just tell Hunny Bunny to be cool . . .

  14. withmalice said ““All right, vampire killers… let’s kill some fucking vampires. ”

    So, so cool. I *am* Seth Gecko.”

    Look, you FUCK… I’m Gecko, and if you claim to be me one more time,…

  15. raincoaster says:

    Maybe you two have the opposite of multiple personality? Fractional personality? The two of you together make up Gecko? That would mean, in Platonic philosophy, that you are soulmates.

    Awwwww, the raincoaster matchmaker service strikes again.

  16. [...] on January 11, 2008 I just took the “Which B-Movie Badass Are You? quiz that I saw on Raincoaster’s site(How ya like that, Rain, I stole that post back?). God I love these things when they turn out like [...]

  17. [...] from Adaen of High Adventure Games, because he stole this from me. This is how you got into Iraq in the first place, [...]

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