WWJD? If He had His hands free, I mean…

Jesus

Adjust this guy’s technique?
And…what would Jesus scream at climax?

Oh DAD! DAD!

from Time, via Gawker.

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22 thoughts on “WWJD? If He had His hands free, I mean…

  1. If I were Jesus, I’d take my cross and beat the molester’s skull in for not GETTING ME OFF THIS DAMN THING!!!!!!

  2. There’s something in this picture that makes me want to be there. The colors are fantastic. The guy’s technique is called “praying”, I guess, which should be enough in itself to satisfy Jesus.

  3. max says:

    Not change the subject or anything but Rain you have to go see this :

    octopus sex

  4. idlex says:

    Hey, hey, raincoaster!

    Some little bastard called idlex has been trashing you again here. I mean, really, WTF does it stop?

  5. naomi says:

    lol you’re going to hell for that one! oh yes! certainly for nearly making me pee my pants.

  6. raincoaster says:

    Octopus sex, Jesus and personal attacks? Yes folks: it’s just another day chez raincoaster.

  7. raincoaster says:

    AHA! I am wise in the ways of the internet, oh interdlex, and figured that was just a sneaky way of getting me into that accursed thread. But did I reply before scrolling up to see? Nooooo. No, I did not. The effects of secondhand comments are well-known to science, and I avoid all contact with such.

  8. I think I’m going to cash in with a new acronym, for ‘If I were Jesus’ – IIWJ. copyrighted 2007 by Frontier Former Editor, so keep your mitts off it Adnan Oktar!

  9. Metro says:

    @FFE

    “What Would I Do If I Were Jesus” …

    WWIDIIWJ?

    Those’ll be some big rubber bracelets, then.

  10. yeah, and they’d fall off wrists and we could sell a fortune in replacements!

    You’re too smart to be in marketing Metro. Suppose you wouldn’t be interested in world domination?

  11. Metro says:

    I was just thinking that that list was missing something like:

    # 1XX “If I build a giant robot, its circuitry will be sophisticated enough to defeat my 5-Year-Old Advisor’s attempts to hijack its loyalties. Likewise, it will be designed so that a random blaster shot will not send it careening berserkely through my Lair, nor turn it against me personally. Instead, it will simply stop working.”

  12. raincoaster says:

    Metro’s become so excited he’s lost control of his comment threads.

  13. Metro says:

    Actually, I was considering FFE’s proposal. It’s a good idea, but first I need to get through the 3-Day Novel Contest.

    If the world rejects my opus then I can grow bitter and twisted, retreat to my secret desert lair, and carry out a campaign of terror in which a volume of literary metacriticism is left at the scene of each crime.

    No, no, wait … #11.

  14. Qelqoth says:

    Where implied fellatio on the Messiah is concerned, “Eat his flesh” has a whole different meaning, doesn’t it?

  15. raincoaster says:

    Indeed. Wonder what the wine is?

  16. max says:

    Didn’t the whole eating flesh drinking blood thing get the Christians into a whole lotta trouble with the Romans? They had pretty big rules about cannibalism in Rome.

  17. raincoaster says:

    And, apparently, in Tennessee and Arkansas too. You can get eighteen months for eating the flesh there, from what I understand.

  18. max says:

    They are so strict down there.

  19. Pierro Marie says:

    Howdy;
    pardon me, if I laugh at this sight.

  20. raincoaster says:

    Go right ahead. I’m hoping God has a sensa huma.

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