nekkid bear in a hammock

Well, what did you expect? Stolen from Defamer.

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12 thoughts on “nekkid bear in a hammock

  1. Clearly bears are a highly intelligent and civilized form of life. If we all spent more time in hammocks, preferably in small groups, the world would be an entirely better–though possibly more seasick–place.

  2. Darling, it’s been over a year. You have to let it go, and let the light return to your glassy eyes.

    Holding it in and brooding on it like that is just going to ruin your digestion, if rooming with a vegan and guzzling methylated spirits by the quart doesn’t do it first.

    Besides, I was trying to save the animals’ lives. PETA should honour me with a steak dinner for my service, dammit.

  3. Our animal control types have guns? ‘Cos that’s, y’know, who I called first, being a logical type and all.

    It would worry me if they did, I must say. Just as it worries me that apparently some Ontario jurisdictions feel the animal control officer needs handcuffs. Presumably to immobilize snakes.

  4. Well, FIRST you called the cops on the horses. Everyone knows handcuffs can be used to hobble them, so that’s what you were probably thinking, right?

    And yes, animal control types have guns in Canada. They’re not generally called out to deal with hedgehogs.

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  6. Well, I have to say “Duh”–for horses you call animal control. When it’s highway traffic that needs controlling so’s cars don’t crash into the horses you would call … ?

    No points for guessing correctly.

  7. If memory serves, the cops laughed at you. So that was the right response, then; anything to send joy into a cop’s dark and dreary world, eh?

    GEagle, yes. And billyclubs and telescopic staves and all kinds of fun things. Their utility belts look like Batman’s.

  8. Why on earth would you trust your colanderish turpentine-soaked memory over the facts?

    The police responded just as they usually do around here. Which is why I’m contemplating a change in career. I intend to become the leader of the “Calendar Gang”. It’s sort of like the Stopwatch Gang, but with a longer view, and geared to the response time of local authorities.

    Consider: Last week a woman witnessed the vandalization of a local landmark at about 11:30 p.m. She called the police. She stuck with them as the pair vandalized a business on our main tourist boulevard. She even followed them as they left in their car, but the 911 despatcher told her she could be fined if she exceeded the speed limit. Since she couldn’t keep up, she went home.

    At about 7:30, the cops showed up to inform the business owner that he might have suffered some damage.

    In Vancouver they beat you up. Out here they ignore you. “Serve and protect” my achin’ back.

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