Who wore it best: Jesus, Elvis, or Axl?

We’re talking about the trademark Sacred Heart look of
The King of Kings, Jesus Christ himself.

Sacred Heart of Jesus

The question: Who wore it best?

The King?

Elvis! Sacred Heart of Elvis

or drama queen Axl Rose?

Jesus Axl Rose

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41 thoughts on “Who wore it best: Jesus, Elvis, or Axl?

  1. naomi says:

    lol

    you are so going to hell for this one :)

  2. raincoaster says:

    I am. I actually had a gay friend vet all the potential Jesus pix for hawtness. I think this one looks like he could front an emo band.

  3. ~m says:

    Awww…. Jesus.
    And yes, you are going straight to hell for this.
    I’ll see you there.
    ~m

  4. timethief says:

    HAWT! You’ve got to be kidding. They all leave me ice cold.

  5. jessicadoyle says:

    Elvis is the odd one out. He just doesn’t have the loooooong hair.

  6. raincoaster says:

    Agreed. If more men knew what long hair did to women, more men would have long hair.

  7. raincoaster says:

    Ya know, though…I think Elvis is kinda working it. Jesus is hotter, but Elvis’s robes have the ELVIS COLLAR! To me, that makes the look.

  8. I say seeing Bob Marley with the Heart would be a better hoot or a random animal, say a penguin.

  9. raincoaster says:

    Marley wasn’t much of a hottie, though, and I’m not so all about the penguins, although I do love a man in a tuxedo. Fashion is sex, my friend! Fashion is sex! Just ask Tom Ford.

  10. Stiletto says:

    I recently heard that a friend of a friend did the groupie thing and slept with Axl one night after he wrapped up a concert. Says it was the BEST SEX of her life.

  11. @stiletto
    I have a used car for sale that your young friend may be interested in. It has far less miles on it’s axles than … *rotflol*

  12. Stiletto says:

    Hahaha – actually Axl is the last person you’d think of as being a generous, selfless sort of lover. Maybe it’s his Midwest upbringing.

  13. Stiletto says:

    Or the drugs. He took the magical combo that night.

  14. raincoaster says:

    “The magical combo?” I have always heard he’d take anything, and wash it down with whiskey. That he’s still alive surprises me.

    But “November Rain” excuses a lot when you’re feeling all emotional.

  15. Stiletto says:

    November Rain is awesome.

  16. raincoaster says:

    Sometimes you just gotta go over the top with a bottle of whiskey, eh?

    Also Stephanie Seymour is gorgeous beyond the lot of mortals. I always wanted to be a tall, fine-boned brunette. And I’m a short, rounded blonde.

  17. Stiletto says:

    Trust me, if I was a man, I’d pick a short buxom and round blonde over a tall, fine boned brunette.

  18. raincoaster says:

    That makes one of you.

  19. [...] Heart of Cthulhu A late entrant into our Who Wore it Best [...]

  20. Stiletto says:

    Oh, you’d be surprised!

  21. swisserikin says:

    Do not make use of God’s name in vain. There are numerous other ways of having fun or jokes. You are comparable to Madonna, making use of Jesus to popularise herself!

  22. Is Axl dead, too. Holy shit!

  23. raincoaster says:

    Yes, I am comparable to Madonna. But less wizened, and with better tits!

  24. [...] world is full of sacred heart of tentacle images. Wasn’t the sacred heart of tentacle a full chapter in John Dee’s book? I’m pretty sure it’s one of the [...]

  25. Metro says:

    @Swisserikin:
    But this way is much funnier.

    Though I see your point: “Who Wore it Better: Elvis, Buddha, or Jabba the Hut,” would also work, I suppose. Or Vic Morrow, Anne Boleyn, and John the Baptist …

    @Raincoaster: “Jesus is hotter,”–you nailed it. Um, I mean … Aw hell, anyway.

  26. Stiletto says:

    And better taste, too. Seriously doubt you’d be caught dead in a liplock with Britney.

    Wow, Raincoaster was very nice to Swisserkins.

  27. raincoaster says:

    I hadn’t had any coffee yet.

    I wouldn’t touch Britney with a ten-foot pole, although I do hear that’s her type!

  28. Stiletto says:

    I wonder if the name Timberlake is attached to that ten foot pole…

  29. Peter N. Nevraumont says:

    December 19, 2007

    Dear Raincoaster:

    We are in the process of producing an illustrated book on the Sacred Heart of Jesus. In the course of research here, I came across your website with the unusual portrait of the Sacred Heart as rock star (Axl Rose). Do you know the source of this poster? (Not Elvis as the Sacred Heart, the source for which I already have.)

    The idea behind the book is to present the history and meaning of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The text of the book will be composed of an introductory chapter tracing the history of the Sacred Heart, an epilog exploring some of its possible meanings, and a description and explanation of each illustration.

    The book will carry approximately 100 full-page color illustrations—a mix of mass-produced, ecclesiastical, archival, and contemporary interpretations of this mystical iconography, and be produced to the highest editorial, graphic design, and print-production standards.

    Any information you can provide will be most appreciated.

    With best wishes,

    Peter N. Nèvraumont
    _______________________________

    Nèvraumont Publishing Company
    259 East 134th Street
    Second Floor Loft
    Bronx, New York 10454

    email: nevpub@cs.com
    phone: 718-993-6190
    cell phone: 917-806-0920
    ____________________________

  30. raincoaster says:

    To find the source of the image, just click on it and that will take you to the source site. It’s a poster meant to promote a rock radio station.

  31. [...] it a yearly thing from this point forward. It really sets the perfect tone for the celebration of The Saviour’s glorious birth, with its joyous celebration of family life, Charlie Brown, seasonally [...]

  32. SarahLouise says:

    Axl could wear a bin bag and pull it off; just because he is Axl Rose.
    He is simply amazing!!
    I am in love with this man!!!!

  33. th says:

    axljesus

  34. raincoaster says:

    But Axl doesn’t look like Axl anymore, that’s the thing. He looks kind of like the kindly Lion from the Wizard of Oz, only druggy.

  35. David says:

    Axl jesus all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. Stiletto says:

    I hear Axl likes to spit on people.

    ‘He looks kind of like the kindly Lion from the Wizard of Oz, only druggy.’

    I wonder if he would spit on that.

  37. raincoaster says:

    I bet he would, if he could stop the shakes long enough.

  38. Cilla says:

    Elvis is the best

  39. Robert Wankel says:

    Uhm since when was Laffayette Indiana considered the midwest. Although you wont here me putting him down it would be wong for me to do that being from the same area as Axle rose grew up. We were all fans even if his actions disapointed use. Its like a big nasty family were we both grew up. We know the lies that even hollywood doesnt know. The best thing I can say about Axle Rose is that if it wasnt for jesus and many others that helped him from our home town he would be much worse off the world would not have come to know the prissy chior boy that they know to day as Axle Rose and in my mind the world would be some what more dead than it is today with out the influence that his music gave the rest of the world.

  40. raincoaster says:

    “Prissy choir boy?” This is the drunken pugilist and cosmetic surgery addict who makes Mickey Rourke look like Clint Eastwood? Are you SURE you know Axl Rose? You don’t even know how to spell his name.

  41. lizzyg29 says:

    Well, he was a choir boy. But his name wasn’t Axl at the time. And small towns are kind of like that, big nasty families.

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