And then there are the things you stumble across when you’re walking down the street, minding, very much, your own business, and which do not seem, at the time, to be the kind of thing you should be overhearing, nor even, it must be admitted, the kind of thing that should be said in the first place; but then, you don’t know if the speaker is in the first place or, come to that, the place of last resort. And so…
What do you say when you come around a corner and literally bump into a hooker working said corner, and it’s someone you went to school with? “Gee, I’d-a thought the firedancing skillz would have kept you at the novelty escort level”???
And what do you say when you show up at the spa for your pampering session and the receptionist is someone you worked years ago with who’s got a brand-new set of apparently quite expensive bazongas? “You’re looking…fuller”???
And, of course, if it’s someone randomly wandering down Robson Street, chatting into a cellphone, with whom one has no previous acquaintance, one simply pretends one didn’t hear it, yet takes notes, as all good Canadians do…
“Anything. Get me anything. Anything but sleep, because I’ve had enough of that…”
or the storefront in Smith’s Falls, Ontario: Bridal Affairs. I mean, I just don’t wanna know. It’s like asking for trouble.
I mentioned to my friend MistressCowfish that I recognized most of the dogs on the Downtown Eastside, but hardly any of the people, to which she responded with what can only be described as a bark of laughter in the Sirius Black mode, and the retort: “of course! It’s perfectly polite to stare at a dog!” Quite so.
When I went to Indonesia I learned to say hello to the people, who were friendly, and ignore the dogs, which were touchy and feral. On the Downtown EastSide, it’s the other way around.
My weirdest experience? What do you do say (or do) when someone featherly touches you in the back to scoot pass throught behind you when you are in tight quarters? (Me? Jump like heck as I know it wasn’t my husband.:P)
Raincoaster I can’t top that! I guess I just reconnect with my mispent youth by reading Overheard in New York every morning on my Blackberry while enduring the comuuter rail. Enjoy.
Okay I am really really hoping this never happens to me I do not think I have the presence of mind to gracefully traverse this social landmine.
One day I must tell the tale of my Uncle, his half-Aunt and the facts of life – - -
Hey–your link to Mastercowfish fell out of the html code … I found it lying around at the bottom of my screen. So I’m posting it here.
And yes, I’m quite proud to be soliciting hits for her.
Ah, good point. It SHOULD have shown up, but didn’t for whatever reason. Much weirdness on the internets.
Alas, the Overheard In sites have been going downhill since it came out a year ago that people just make shit up and they don’t care, as long as it’s interesting.
When I went to Indonesia I learned to say hello to the people, who were friendly, and ignore the dogs, which were touchy and feral. On the Downtown EastSide, it’s the other way around.
You’d feel right at home in the UK.
Newmania has posted about a collegue who is trying to hire a whore/escort to accompany him to a wedding to ‘make him look sucesful’. Hmmm.
Bog standard. If he’s having trouble doing it, he’s even lamer than most escort-hiring lameasses. It is standard procedure.
Also, is it Newmania or his buddy who cannot even spell “successful?” Don’t answer that.
Do you want a picture of the Smiths Falls store? It can be arranged.
This is true, Henry. I forgot I was connected! That would be teh ossum!
You must know the poor old dog with the huuuuge balls. I always wish its owner could afford a trip to the vet, because that thing can’t even walk with what’s going on down there. I can’t even look anymore. Sigh.
Oh, god yes. Actually I saw that dog the other day, poor thing.
There IS a discounted vet service for people on assistance, but I don’t have the contact info for it. There’s a pet food bank, too. I think the Pound has the contact deets on that.
Ful of suces? I was listening to this Vet awhile back and now the big thing is fake balls after spaying. Inevitably they also wanted them bigger than original. I should have thought of this last week but here it is – lost dog, sightings in your area. Sitka is a Husky/Sheppard/Collie with a bright orange ribbon around her neck set off with a black collar. Her face and legs are cream, her back is black gray and the remainder is white, right to her curly tail. She took off from the Main and Kingsway cross.
Yes, neuticles. I’m sure they’re available for people, too.
I shall keep an eye out for Sitka. She probably can whup the ass of our mangy coyotes easily enough, but she might have been nabbed and sold already.