Please mind the gap … in your employment

Emma ClarkeIn the latest example of inadvertently star-making sense of humour failure on the part of an organization, Emma Clarke, smooth-voiced announcer for the London Underground system, has been “de-accessioned” for recording spoof announcements and posting them on her personal website.

London Underground is sorry to have to announce that further contracts for Miss Clarke are experiencing severe delays,” a TfL spokesman told the Evening Standard Monday.

Actually, giving the text a read-over, it appears that these so-called fakes are actually more useful and informative than the officially sanctioned announcements. See for yourself:

  • We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly.
  • Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read the paper but who is actually staring at that woman’s chest please stop. You are not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert.
  • Would passengers filling in answers on their Sudokus please accept that they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers.

etc, etc. Click over to her website in a day or so to listen to the recordings, once the publicity from the worldwide stories on Reuters, BBC, etc, etc, has calmed down and the site comes back up.

9 thoughts on “Please mind the gap … in your employment

  1. Cat says:

    That is insane. I can’t believe they sacked her over that!

  2. Vicus Scurra says:

    Point of information. She was sacked for saying that the underground was too dreadful to use, not for the spoof. And she says that what she meant was that she couldn’t stand hearing her own voice all the time down there.
    So you are wrong to criticise London underground for not having a sense of humour, you only have to read their schedules to know that this is not true.

  3. alejna says:

    Ah, that sounds like fun. I hope I manage to remember to check out her site once the hubbub dies down.

  4. raincoaster says:

    Vicus: a very good point.

    I hope that some clever travel magazine hires her to record CD guides to London, including those lost sound clips. “Try out the famous echo in the Reading Room” that kind of thing.

  5. Philipa says:

    Hilarious.

    On a more serious note the situation lending itself to chaos on the underground detailed by Iain Dale was a bit worrying. I thought they’d practiced procedures but at the first whiff of trouble they refused to let passengers OUT!

  6. raincoaster says:

    That’s smart. Just like shutting the cellphones off in an emergency. Bound to improve the situation. And tell me, where on your ticket does it say “and I authorize my indefinite confinement at any time the management becomes alarmed for any reason whatsoever”??

  7. ” Posted November 26, 2007 at 11:49 pm | Permalink

    That is insane. I can’t believe they sacked her over that!”

    English management is all about stick and not carrot

  8. Cat says:

    I live in England. Things aren’t generally like that!

  9. raincoaster says:

    I think Jeremy just lost a gig or something; he’s not his usual perky self today.

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