No, it’s true.
Really.
It makes total sense.
It explains so much.
Think about it.
Once, ages ago, a race of bizarre, loathesome creatures ruled the Earth. Writhing and gibbering in the Stygian darkness of their lair, ravening for the blood of those who worshipped them, this strangely Protean race nearly destroyed the youthful planet in its ceaseless quest to slake their endless thirst for the very souls of the damned.
They were the Great Old Ones. Eventually, they were banished; we can only pray that they never return to debase the race of humans again in horrific slavery and unthinkable perversion.
And in this pantheon, one monstrosity reigned supreme.
Right now, everyone reading is thinking “You’re wrong. These guys look nothing alike.” Of course not, his true identity is obfuscated by the best possible disguise known to man: Ugly glasses. Ugly glasses, made even more opaque by parting his strangely masculine hair differently. If Cthulhu had glasses and parted to the left, these would be virtually identical, right down to the AppleStore he’s crawling out of. Think I’m lying? Take another look.
That may just be the smartest, most dangerous thing I’ve ever read on LiveJournal. But there’s more.
So. Much. More.
Check it out:
Cthulhu: imprisoned in his tomb in Rlyeh, not dead but dreaming.
Jobs: Next.
Cthulhu: The Necronomicon
Jobs: Ayn Rand, The I Ching
Cthulhu: Politics
Jobs: Politics and more Politics
Cthulhu: something of a personnel-retention issue
Jobs: upon regaining freedom, destroys his innocent rescuers
Cthulhu: Lolthulhu
Jobs: Fake Steve Jobs
Cthulhu: advanced wireless telecommunication technology
Jobs: iPhone
Think about it.
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13 Comments
because you’re so special…
http://www.commissionedcomic.com/?p=252
Oooh, thanks! That actually makes this post all the more interesting, if you’ve got a crush on Steve Jobs. Not that I know ANYONE like that. Nope.
You’re missing a question mark.
There IS no question about this. Steve Jobs is Cthulhu.
Isnt he lovely? Id have him round for tea and biscuits :-)
Tea, biscuts, and SANITY SHREDDING HORROR! Oooo…could I have another wedge of lemmon for my tea? Stellar.
On a seperate note, is it insensative to joke about his health? I mean I’d feel pretty bad about saying something like, “Jobs has announced Apples latest product, iChemo. Consumer Reports states it’ll only work on Apple-branded iNeoplasm though.” I’d feel pretty bad if I posted something like that.
It’s not insensitive. Jobs himself lowered the bar for sensitivity so low an ant can’t limbo under it, so smack away.
FYI this post is one of the top ones on Google today, because everyone likes to look at young, pretty Steve. Or, NO IT IS BECAUSE IT’S SUCH A GREAT POST, RIGHT? RIGHT?
I have a crush on Steve Jobs.
Sure, now that you’ve seen the picture you do. Who wouldn’t?
The young Steve Jobs has a striking resemblance of Ashton Kutcher!
You’re not the first person to mention that. Yes, he was a sexy bitch!
This picture shows class; these show his HD was probably too fragmented.
You know where they say Gates got the name “Microsoft” eh?
BTW am uncontrollably excited that recent pix show Steve isn’t wearing his wedding band. He wants me. You can just tell.
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