quiz: how much are you worth in bed?
03 Apr 2008 48 Comments
in Dating, Generation X, Humour, Quizzes and tests, Sex, Singles, Spring Fever, capitalism, economics, fetish, humor, meme
Apparently the average is only $225.82 per hour. Strangely, this is quite a lot more than most of the prostitutes I know earn, but then I do live here.
Stolen from Stiletto
Hmmm, looks to be quite a lot more lucrative than mommyblogging. Being an agoraphobic, chubby, monitor-tanned old Goth must be more enticing than I’d ever imagined!
I ask, not for the first nor the last time, Does anyone have Steve Jobs‘s number handy?
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Apr 03, 2008 @ 20:48:10
I’ll bid $1,000 – that still better than Eliot Spitzer’s favorite courtesan’s hourly rate!
Apr 03, 2008 @ 20:51:56
And I’m $1,071.00 an hour
Apr 03, 2008 @ 21:01:56
and while slightly OOT, it’s slightly on-topic regarding the earlier post on water sports:
http://www.rathergood.com/dannii/
Apr 03, 2008 @ 21:05:29
If I’d known which way that bunch of grapes was facing, it might have been different. As is, I’m $1,071 per hour.
My boyfriend owes me. Big time!
Apr 03, 2008 @ 22:01:16
I’m telling you, NOTHING shoots up your sexual stock like putting your vagina on ice for a decade or so.
Overshare?
Apr 04, 2008 @ 00:56:25
Nothing shoots up your sexual stock when you put your vagina on ice by definition. No stock shootin’.
Apr 04, 2008 @ 04:22:47
Powered By Sexy Store
Apr 04, 2008 @ 04:24:27
Shoot. I screwed up. STILL so pc illiterate.
Ah, anyway,it says I’m worth $1071.00
BUT I know I’m priceless!
Apr 04, 2008 @ 04:27:10
Now, if only the men knew that too.
Apr 04, 2008 @ 05:10:21
No kidding.
Apr 04, 2008 @ 05:11:01
No kidding. And if I could just stop being attracted to
crack addicts, I’d be doing fine. On my own, but doing fine.
Right.
Apr 04, 2008 @ 05:27:10
For you it’s crack addicts. For me, it’s married billionaires and royalty. The two of us should just split the difference and find a nice pair of regional sales managers or…
forget it.
Apr 04, 2008 @ 05:39:11
So, umm.. like how many prostitutes do you know?
Apr 04, 2008 @ 05:48:02
Or what? Forget men altogether and just..? LOL
Apr 04, 2008 @ 06:02:00
Exactly, Jae.
ian, I’ve interviewed about a hundred of them for a book that’s hopefully coming out next year (AT LAST!) and have several former prostitutes among my friends. And so do you; they just haven’t told you. The sex trade is surprisingly pervasive. I’ve listened to one fellow tell me in all seriousness that he had a great deal of sympathy for “those poor girls” but he didn’t actually know any. His daughter is a call girl.
Apr 04, 2008 @ 13:25:30
Damn!!!!
It says I owe them money…..
Apr 04, 2008 @ 23:44:20
So, you figure Jobs needs to get laid and may be willing to pay you for it? Interesting career move.
Apr 05, 2008 @ 01:10:06
Yeah, well there are plenty of wage apes. I thought I’d take a different approach.
Apr 05, 2008 @ 23:08:01
Only $796 but I did say I was celibate and fall asleep after sex – well it meant I didn’t have to cuddle afterwards, glad that’s over!
Apr 06, 2008 @ 02:22:40
I have the advantage of starting up an exciting new cracker company . . .
Apr 06, 2008 @ 02:34:33
Yes, but that’s a niche market if ever I saw one.
Philipa, how can you be worth anything in bed if you’re celibate? By definition you should be without price!
Apr 06, 2008 @ 03:16:25
I was referring to my new line of George Wallace snack foods . . .
Apr 06, 2008 @ 04:27:23
Ah, yes. They’re a self-renewing resource where you come from, aren’t they?
Apr 06, 2008 @ 13:31:38
Yep. They must be that nucular reactor our Fuehrer has described.
Apr 06, 2008 @ 19:51:50
Raincoaster, you are writing a book on prostitutes?!
You do realize I have insider knowledge, right? [wink]
“Strangely, this is quite a lot more than most of the prostitutes I know earn…”
Well, it’s less than most of the ones I know. The average in Washington is $350, with rates going up now to $400-$500, and LA and NYC girls charging an average of $600-$700.
Then you’ve got Craigslist which is the lower end of the spectrum. $125-$200. Recently, a girl had the nerve to advertise at $300 – she’ll get flagged soon by all the pimps.
Apr 07, 2008 @ 01:06:47
I’m writing a book on particular prostitutes, and a particular area. Low Track. These girls are lucky to get fifty bucks an act. They’re where the rub and tug girls end up when their habits start to show too much and they get fired. The average income for a prostitute in my neighborhood is $265 a day, and that’s for an average of ten customers.
Apr 07, 2008 @ 21:04:42
Ten customers? You mean per customer, or the total of one day’s work?
What got you into writing this book anyway?
Apr 07, 2008 @ 23:56:55
$265 a day cumulative. They average ten customers a day.
The book started as an assignment for the Crime Library on the Missing Women case. It’s actually the only deadline for a paid piece that I’ve missed, and they’ll never get that piece because I started writing and instead of the maybe 5000 words they wanted I got up to 65000 in no time and realized it was a book instead. Nobody picked it up and a couple of years later they arrested Willy Pickton and now he’s been put away for life. But I actually went for coffee with Pickton and have a VERY interesting story to tell about him and now that he’s away it’s safe to tell it.
Mind you, if a publisher had gone for it I’d have told it much sooner. It got to the editorial board at HarperCollins Canada twice, but was rejected because they said it would cost $70,000 to get lawyers to vet the whole thing. Not that it made outrageous statements that weren’t backed up by research; just because of the subject material and the fact I was a first-time author.
Fortunately, persistence pays off and a friend has founded a press and committed to bringing out the book. And she’s a legal eagle herself.
Apr 08, 2008 @ 05:03:26
“But I actually went for coffee with Pickton and have a VERY interesting story to tell about him and now that he’s away it’s safe to tell it.”
Hey, remember when I told you about the serial killer dream I had? With you and FFE? Well, first, I was wrong – it was you and Metro. And last, maybe it was Pickton in the dream!
Regarding FFE, I think I found a job for him:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/04/07/japan.geishas/index.html
Apr 08, 2008 @ 05:04:06
PS Once the book is finished, I want an autographed copy!
Apr 08, 2008 @ 05:49:52
Well, it makes sense. Those are the kinds of people Metro hangs out with.
You’ll have as many autographed copies as you like on one condition: when my Operation Global Media Domination World Domination Tour swings through your burb, you arrange a wee book party, cash bar okay. You in?
I can certainly see FFE taking that job. The Japanese LOVE the Occidentals.
Apr 08, 2008 @ 16:51:49
It’s a deal. I’m in like Flynn!
Apr 08, 2008 @ 16:54:22
Awesomenosity! See you next year!
Apr 08, 2008 @ 17:21:13
Let me try out some lines for my new profession . . .
“You look ravishing for a salarywoman.”
“Want to see my etchings of the Enola Gay exhibit?”
“That Tokyo Stock Exchange sure is retreating like Stilwell on the Burma Road.”
“Gedde Watanabe is a comedy genius.”
“Say, why the Toshiro Mifune frown?”
“Does this make me look like a round-eyed devil?”
“No, only the American women have big breasts and blond hair, except of course for Chris Crocker and David Lee Roth.”
“What’s this Japanese Diet I’m always hearing about.”
“Pachinko, my dear?”
“What do you get when you cross a shelter half and a barnacle? A tent-acle.”
Apr 08, 2008 @ 17:25:57
Stiletto and Rain – let me know when you set a date. I’ll bring the doughnut/convenience store guy from Bristol.
Apr 09, 2008 @ 02:01:36
Oh, I think that second line is a winner.
I will let the ENTIRE WORLD know when I am going on tour, never fear!
Apr 09, 2008 @ 03:51:35
No! All lines, ABORT! It sounds like the mad rantings of a serial killer SLASH nerd, no pun intended! Bottles of Chianti are flashing through my head! So is Edith Piaf. Don’t ask me why. But I’m sure there’s a connection!
Apr 09, 2008 @ 03:52:53
Um, FFE, if I may ask – Do you work in a convenience store? I won’t judge you if you do.
They don’t sell Chianti, do they?
Apr 09, 2008 @ 04:05:50
Or Thunderbird? Where he lives, he’s probably got a still out in the chicken coop.
Apr 09, 2008 @ 07:34:10
Hey, hey, hey HEY! Thunderbird was how we got the lay-dees in the 70′s . . .
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gTDEpSYD25M.
And while youse canucks was makin gin out of potato peelings and beer from old Cheerios, I was drinking instrument alcohol and grapefruit juice.
While we’re on the subject, I thought the ‘Toshiro Mifune look’ line struck a playful balance between cinematic savoir faire and anime-style hip. But nooooooo, no one ever appreciates the subtleties of Kurosawa’s ‘Rashomon’ or Mifune’s continuous scowl during ‘Tora Tora Tora.’
shitpissfuckcuntcocsuckermotherfuckerandtits.
Bet you don’t even remember that George Carlin said that, do you? Huh? Huh?
And the last time I worked as a convenience store clerk was in a reincarnation about 20 regenerations from where I am now, after I admitted to myself that being a cockroach wasn’t so bad.
Finally, SG, ask Anthony Hopkins about the Chi-ann-tee.
Man, I gotta wander around sleepless at 3:30 a.m. more often.
Fuck.
Hope that helped the ol’ cuss meter. ;D
Apr 09, 2008 @ 08:29:21
I don’t remember George Carlin in ANY Kurosawa films, actually. Except maybe Dogma.
Apr 09, 2008 @ 10:43:32
I did write all that, didn’t I?
Apr 09, 2008 @ 12:09:26
You were only supposed to REFERENCE the Thunderbird, not drink it. Hilarious commercial by the way.
Apr 09, 2008 @ 17:26:33
And next week – - – - teasers for ‘Blacula’
Apr 10, 2008 @ 02:25:07
Oh, seen it. I must say it was better than the one with Gary Oldman.
Apr 10, 2008 @ 06:57:01
He just doesn’t have William Marshall’s presence.
Apr 10, 2008 @ 08:48:33
Who does. Who ever COULD?