Quiz: what kind of 30′s wife would you be?

The Women

cross-posted from TeenyManolo and I really wonder how the relative demographics will stack up. According to the data I can find, this blog skews strongly male, considerably more intelligent and educated than average, and with a substantially lower income than average. Ah, my people. At least, all my ex-boyfriends.

While I’ve long suspected I would not flourish in the era, it must be admitted that I love watching Thirties movies, and am slightly addicted to the bizarre hats of the period.

But it’s not a problem. I can stop wearing those hats any time. Seriously. And I’m sure the staff at Home Depot and the grocery store wishes I would.

But now comes scientific(ish) proof, once and for all, that I’d be an absolutely rotten Thirties housewife. I find solace in the fact that so would Katherine Hepburn and Myrna Loy. Oh, who wants to be that insipid martyr Mrs. Stephen Haines, when you could be the fabulously kooky Irene Bullock or the witty and wonderful Nora Charles? They’d both be fabulous failures in this quiz, too.

23

As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Poor (Failure)

Take the test!

via ArchiesArchive

So what did you get?

Scoring:

0-24 – Very Poor (Failure)
25-41 – Poor
42-58 – Average
59-75 – Superior
76+ – Very Superior

If it makes you feel any better, you can answer for your husband on the 1930′s Husband Quiz as well. Don’t tell him the results; it would only upset the poor darling.

50 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Frontier Former Editor
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 01:21:56

    Hmmmm . . . . if I were a 30′s wife it would probably be a tossup between James Whale and Ernest Thesiger

  2. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 01:30:35

    Ha. Ha. Take the test! There’s no estrogen detector on it.

  3. Frontier Former Editor
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 01:32:43

    Why so bitchy, dear?

  4. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 01:37:49

    I’m a bitch; or didn’t you read the results. I’m Joan Fucking Crawford, I am!

  5. aniche
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 02:02:24

    they all look like they’re ready to be snatched away by King Kong!

  6. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 02:08:06

    King Kong wouldn’t mess with a dame like Ros.

  7. thebeadden
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 02:17:47

    I got a 31. Poor. I actually thought I would have been a good 30′s wife, I guess I was wrong.

  8. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 02:51:48

    I lost points for the boozing and red nail polish, and running around the house in my sock feet. I must be a terrible slut.

  9. Frontier Former Editor
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 02:58:38

    41 as a wife
    125 as a husband

    My wife must be a bitch
    My husband must be a self-righteous bastard

  10. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 03:24:24

    Awesome. Will you marry me and keep me in booze and nail polish? And before Metro points it out, they can sub in for one another if you do it right.

  11. Annette Fix
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 07:13:42

    I actually thought I’d do well, but I scored a 22. Maybe it was because of the part about cooking canned food in my pjs that did it…

  12. max
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 07:58:32

    Uh oh. I scored 20. That means no man is going to marry me right?

    I am cursed, I tell you, cursed.

  13. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 09:25:58

    Well, no really, really OLD men are going to marry you, so look on the bright side.

  14. Frontier Former Editor
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 10:56:54

    Wow, I’ve got a better chance of getting a husband than does Max . . . .

  15. G Eagle Esq
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 11:50:19

    Doomed

    We’re all Doomed

    DON’T PANIC

    I didn’t realize FFE is in danger of becoming an Episcopalian

  16. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 11:55:56

    Oh, SNAP!

  17. ellaella
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 11:59:25

    I got 13. Maybe I misunderstood the marital congress question.

    Great 30′s movie: The Women. Perfect for a rainy Sunday.

  18. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 12:31:51

    The blogger at Seismic Twitch got zero. Archie claims his wife got a negative number, but I think he fixed the text.

  19. Frontier Former Editor
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 18:34:49

    Archie – I was a closet Anglican one

    Ella – they’re always getting that confused in India’s Congress Party, but the mass meetings are a hoot all the same . . . .

  20. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 18:49:23

    I would guess so. Thank god those old white dudes in Washington know the difference; nobody wants to see THAT!

  21. Metro
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 20:47:57

    Marital congress–that involves 100 people, right?

    @FFE: Nail polish comes in different colours so that Raincoaster can drink B-52s.

    And yes, in a pinch she’ll drink the fuel out of a B-52 as well. The biggest hit to her wallet has been the price of gasoline. Nowadays she might as well buy cooking wine.

    99 as a husband. I’m going to be very smug about that if my wife ever comes home again.

    25 as a wife. Obviously I’m very well adapted.

  22. raincoaster
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 21:06:40

    Like I said on TeenyManolo, obviously they set the bar lower on the male side of the marital congress.

  23. max
    Jun 23, 2008 @ 21:30:00

    Clearly I must do away with FFE if I want to find myself a man. Sorry, FFE, it is just one of those survival of the fittest things, nothing personal.

  24. Frontier Former Editor
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 01:51:30

    Don’t worry Max – as long as I can be Myrna Loy and William Powell, there’s no competition between us.

  25. Frontier Former Editor
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 01:54:12

    Metro – actually, marital congress involves 100 people in one house and 435 in the next house, but there are chaplains in each house . . . .

  26. Stiletto
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 02:01:17

    style=”text-align: center;”>40As a 1930s wife, I amPoorTake the test!

    Whhhaaaat? I thought I did everything right but it wasn’t enough!

    As for you, dear, Rain, I’m not surprised! We would have made perfect neighbors back in the day!

  27. raincoaster
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 02:44:34

    You are not NEARLY milquetoasty enough for this. I can see us bitching over the back fence in my mind’s eye.

  28. G Eagle Esq
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 06:39:01

    Bonjour, Senor FFE

    I’m not Spartacus

    Vote Quimby

    Yr obedient servant etc

    G E

  29. Frontier Former Editor
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 10:28:00

    M. Eagle – or, as Tony Curtis would say, Spah-tu-cuth

  30. Philipa
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 15:24:48

    Oh God I got 83 – a superior 1930′s wife. Trouble is the only chap I know who wants to turn the clock back is already married and isn’t exactly a fan of mine. My ex is a very modern male -> he f***ed off.

    I was discussing Canada t’other day and thought it would be great to visit and if you could visit us, Raincoaster. When I win the lottery your ticket to Blighty is the first thing I’ll buy :-)

  31. raincoaster
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 20:32:41

    And if I win the lottery the first thing I will buy is…my freedom from debt. The second thing is a damn fine lawyer. The third thing is a trip, and England is definitely on the top of the list there.

  32. Stiletto
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 21:42:57

    You wouldn’t plan on stalking Boris and Blair, would you?

  33. raincoaster
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 21:51:50

    Oh, PERISH the thought. If they’d only indicate they’d pick up the tab for lunch, I might stalk them for a day or so, though. Only if they asked nicely.

    Besides, if I wanted to stalk Blair wouldn’t I go to Geneva and ambush him outside his bank?

  34. Metro
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 22:39:47

    Bory’s a tory. They never pay for lunches–not even their own.

  35. raincoaster
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 23:08:57

    This is true. Apparently when he moved into the mayor’s office they found a wine cooler (I will need to explain to the trailer-parkier readers that this is a refrigerator sort of thing, not a product from Bartles and Jaymes) with about 100 bottles. I last heard they were down to 36. I hope they save a few for me!

  36. Trackback: no man is going to marry that girl « celluloid blonde
  37. Philipa
    Jun 25, 2008 @ 10:10:00

    I heard that Labour sleazoids had tried to smear Boris by filling old wine bottles up with Vimto-esque cordial, blowing a bit of dust on them and then alerting the authorities to the new Mayor plundering possesions of persons unmet and unknown.

    All total bollocks, obviously. (a lesser known brand of cordial made by a socialist atheist commune on the Isle of Wight)

  38. raincoaster
    Jun 25, 2008 @ 10:57:41

    Don’t be silly: he’s English. He’d drink it anyway.

  39. Frontier Former Editor
    Jun 25, 2008 @ 11:39:54

    Well, if he’d married me, he’d be drinking in secret, out of the house and not with my pin money.

    If I’d married her, she’d be the ball at our next drinking club rugby match.

  40. Stiletto
    Jun 25, 2008 @ 21:10:29

    Oh! A wine cooler. The Old Man got me one for Christmas. But mine only holds eight. You think he’d get me one big enough to hold a case and some coke.

  41. raincoaster
    Jun 25, 2008 @ 23:09:52

    You meant to capitalize that “C”, right?

  42. Stiletto
    Jun 26, 2008 @ 01:31:35

    Oops.

    BTW, ot, but, have you gotten anything in the mail lately? Anything random????

  43. raincoaster
    Jun 26, 2008 @ 06:41:02

    You missed my post on the Man of Mystery? Honestly, I’m ashamed of myself that it took me a whole day to think of just Googling the name. Thank you, I have enjoyed it.

    Many, many times.

    Now I want Gladiator sandals for my birthday! Fortunately, they’ll all go on sale in a week or so, so I might actually get some!

  44. Stiletto
    Jun 27, 2008 @ 02:08:05

    Those damn Gladiator sandals. By the time they’re available they’ll be as ancient as Sarah Jessica Parker. Oh what the hell, I’d still wear ‘em.

    Wait – did you say on sale? So they are available????

    Gladiator remains my favorite movie. I wish Russell Crowe were available for purchase. He can throw a telephone at me anytime!

  45. raincoaster
    Jun 27, 2008 @ 09:00:56

    From what I hear from informed sources, he’s available for borrowing at the very least!

  46. Stiletto
    Jun 27, 2008 @ 16:08:10

    What? What do you mean? Do you mean what I think you mean? But he’s married!

    Straight borrowing, right?

  47. raincoaster
    Jun 27, 2008 @ 21:09:04

    Straight borrowing. Have to return him before midnight or there’s a fine, too.

  48. Stiletto
    Jun 28, 2008 @ 01:18:16

    Hot dayum! Perhaps it was a smart move attempting to befriend his wife on myspace.

    Do your sources know if she knows? Or does she even care? Just how sordid does this get?

  49. raincoaster
    Jun 28, 2008 @ 07:19:46

    All I know is, he was out with the wife at a London club, started working the room, he and his pal disappeared into the back through the kitchen with two barely-legal blondes, returned half an hour later without the blondes. You connect the dots.

    Wife did not bat an eye, but maybe she didn’t know he was gone.

  50. hotandquality
    Oct 24, 2009 @ 03:40:01

    i was scored: 65,superior

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