I’m so disappointed to see you pushing the plaid puppies on your occasionally-coherent blog.

How could you? Don’t you know the horror of puppy mills? The French multicolour bulldog industry is rife with misery and suffering, from the poor angora sheepdogs who are raised in cruel and inhumane conditions to round up the terrified Lancashire Blue Runny Sheep, whose wool is force-fed to the common Buldogue Rouget Blanc during gestation to produce the famous Chien Toreau Tricoloré out of which the plaid bulldog, or “Plaidster” is bred.

(Surely you know of the Tricoloré, it was a CTT hide hoisted on a pole that first was adopted as the French national flag. It was used until 1973, when the anti-animal-cruelty regulations governing farm trade in the European Common Market forced them to stop).

Pity too the unfortunate female Argyle Terrier, dragged from Scotland’s foggy moors and bred to the bigger and garlic-breathed Tricoloré to bear litter after litter of plaid pups.

This barbaric pet production line must be stopped! Alert Pamela Anderson!