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Quiz: what kind of bikini are you?

This one lacks accuracy, I must say, since I have virtually none of those traits (except an athleticism that has lain unused and wrapped in tissue paper for the last four years). But every one of my bikinis is, in fact, a halter, so there may be something to this after all.


You Are a Halter Bikini


You’re an athletic girl with a hot athletic bod to match.

And you’ve got a great tan, probably from all those beach volleyball games!

And now, we dance!
I. Must. Have. This. Film!

22 Comments

  1. Posted June 29, 2008 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    You Are a Retro Bikini!

    You prefer a bikini that’s flirty and feminine, not flashy.
    You look sweet and sexy – a rarity on the beach these days!

    You’ve got to get some more male-oriented quizzes in here, and not “What kind of heterosexual bear are you?”

  2. Posted June 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

    Awww, you’d look sweet in a skirted bikini! Photos, plz!

    Find your own damn quizzes, but good luck: who do you think spends all their time writing these things? Teenage girls!

  3. Posted June 29, 2008 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    It said I’d be one of those early 20th century full cover models. What’s up with that?

  4. Posted June 29, 2008 at 1:12 pm | Permalink

    Hmmm. Are you shy? What character traits did it list?

  5. Posted June 29, 2008 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    Well now…I’ll definitely keep my eyes open for that film!

    :-)

  6. Posted June 29, 2008 at 4:24 pm | Permalink

    I already looked on Amazon; nothing under twenty bucks. But if I see it in a sale bin or at Value Village, that puppy is mine!

  7. Posted June 29, 2008 at 8:31 pm | Permalink

    I am a retro bikini too, maybe FFE and I can swap clothes.

  8. Posted June 29, 2008 at 9:08 pm | Permalink

    I’ll skip the bikini—clashes with my beard—but love the music. I’m a big surfer rock and stomp rock fan from way back.

  9. Posted June 29, 2008 at 9:38 pm | Permalink

    Me too – I’m a halter bikini. Not that I ever wear a halter bikini.

  10. Posted June 30, 2008 at 1:00 am | Permalink

    Oh max, I can just see you and FFE at a clothes swap hen party. But I bet you’re different sizes.

    Stony, I adore surf rock and surfing, although where I live you can’t surf (no surf) so I only watch the movies. Some day I’ll have a few extra hundreds and to up to “Not-Ucluelet” and take some surf lessons. In the mean time, it’s Dick Dale for me!

    Philipa, why wouldn’t you wear a halter bikini? It holds everything where it’s supposed to be in the most flattering way possible.

  11. Posted June 30, 2008 at 2:48 am | Permalink

    Yeah, I can see us in a clothes swap too – after a year of binge eating for her or a few months of tuberculosis for me

  12. Posted June 30, 2008 at 4:20 am | Permalink

    Get working on it. Can’t you become a coal miner and get black lung or something? That should set you up nicely.

  13. Posted June 30, 2008 at 9:59 am | Permalink

    I blame my Primary 6 teacher. Not only was he a surfer, but he played lead guitar in a surf rock band and had been bitten by a shark. If we behaved, he get his guitar out and rock the classroom. On very special occasions, he’d even show us the toothmarks on his chest. Talk about the coolest teacher!

  14. Posted June 30, 2008 at 10:20 am | Permalink

    You have sharks in Scotland? They must have antifreeze in their veins! I wish I’d had a teacher like that.

  15. Posted June 30, 2008 at 11:29 am | Permalink

    I’m an Australian living in Scotland, so my youth was spent in warmer climes with rather more interesting beasties.

    I did encounter a shark once myself, while swimming off a beach in Western Australia. I’d gone for my morning run and swim, and was swimming parallel to the beach when I realised something was swimming parallel to me. I stopped and trod water, only to spot a reasonably large fin about five metres away.

    Hmm, interesting. I started to swim for the beach, constantly reminding myself to “swim calm, swim strong and don’t thrash or panic”. Not easy to do when something large is following you in towards the beach.

    I wasn’t too far out, 30 metres or so, but it felt like I’d swum 1,000 metres by the time I hit water shallow enough to stand and jog out of the water.

    As I turned to look back, a couple of very excitable women came running over, shrieking about “there’s a shark following you, did you see it?!!”

    Sticking by my motto(”no matter how tough things are, always make it look easy”), I turned to them and said “it’s okay, he’s friendly” and jogged off the beach. Only when I was out of sight behind a dune, did I stop and go “argggghhh!”. :D

  16. Posted June 30, 2008 at 7:40 pm | Permalink

    YIPES!

    I have a confession: in this world, there are only a very few things which frighten me, and sharks are at the top of the list. I’m not afraid of bears. I’ve faced down a mountain lion. Wolves don’t bother me, nor does walking down East Hastings street at three in the morning.

    Sharks = different story.

  17. Posted June 30, 2008 at 11:28 pm | Permalink

    I got retro, too.

    I wonder, though, whether this was one of the possible answers…I thought of you when I saw it.

  18. Posted July 1, 2008 at 2:38 am | Permalink

    I’ve actually posted the top that matches that: search this blog for “Tentacle porn” and you’ll see it. I think the season is perfect to post the set.

    Mind you, between this “blog for swag” post and the bare butt and cephalopod-clad nipples of the cephalokini, my blog might just get deep-sixed by the powers that be.

  19. Posted July 1, 2008 at 1:12 pm | Permalink

    If it doesn’t come with a corset it doesn’t hold everything where it should be.

    Parts of Scotland are in the direct flow of the gulf stream – Plockton, for example, has palm trees on the white sand beach. It’s lovely along that coast.

  20. Posted July 1, 2008 at 1:51 pm | Permalink

    No, seriously, a halter is incredibly useful.

    I was rollerblading in my halter bikini through Yaletown (our Hollywood) and some guy passed me, turned to his friend and remarked, “That’s why this is better than ice skating.”

  21. Posted July 2, 2008 at 1:03 am | Permalink

    I’ll stick with my avocado banana hammock, thank you very much.
    ~m

  22. Posted July 2, 2008 at 8:29 pm | Permalink

    That’s only HALF a bikini!


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