Quiz: What’s your penis name?

Well, we’ve had some bombastic requests from members of the machosphere to lighten up on the “what lip gloss texture are you?” quizzes and up the “are you just a manly man or do you actually make Paul Bunyan look gay?” quizzes, so here’s the macho-iest one I could find, stolen from the Phantom Lord of Ultimate Darkness:


Your Penis Name Is…


Squirmin’ Herman the One-Eyed German

34 thoughts on “Quiz: What’s your penis name?

  1. Metro says:

    Mr. Big

    ‘Nuff said. That test was clearly waiting for me to take it.

  2. raincoaster says:

    I’ll bet that’s not the first time you’ve used that line, eh?

  3. Metro says:

    You’re just jealous ‘cos mine’s definitely bigger than yours.

  4. max says:

    I am so not doing this quiz.

  5. raincoaster says:

    Metro: no argument there. But I have some in the freezer that outrank you, I’m sure.

    max, a girl has to know her limits.

  6. Jae says:

    IF I were a guy, I think I would have to take offense at this: Little Juan

    Bloody good thing I’m not a guy! Where’s the boob namer?

  7. raincoaster says:

    The boob namer is there, as is the ladyparts namer. But women don’t name their boobs, do they? I just call mine “the left one” and “the right one.”

  8. Jae says:

    LOL Yeah, that’s what I thought. Same.
    And here I thought I was weird for not naming them.
    Who the hell comes up with this stuff anyway?

  9. Most women I know call them “the twins.” Unless they are replacement parts, in which case they call them expensive.

  10. Shag Stick is so not me!

  11. raincoaster says:

    Well, if yours HAS a pre-existing name, why not do a post comparing and contrasting?

  12. michaelm says:

    Beefy McManstick

    God, I like that.
    ~m

  13. raincoaster says:

    Hard to top.

    So to speak!

  14. kanadianbakin says:

    My favourite family member.

  15. Meat ‘n’ Potatoes.

    While I was looking for something more along the lines of ‘M117 750-lb General Purpose high-explosive bomb,” this will do.

  16. BabaliciouS says:

    Since I live in some woods of Java Island, I think it is a fair size. Yes?

    BabaliciouS = Anaconda

  17. Anaconda

    That is so apropos on so many levels :lol:

  18. There’s a one-eyed German living in our building! I think I’m going to call him Dick from now on.

  19. raincoaster says:

    I’m sure he’d love that. The Germans have such a great sense of humour!

  20. Elvis.

    Though it doesn’t say whether it’s Ed Sullivan Elvis, Vegas Elvis or dying on a toilet Elvis.

  21. raincoaster says:

    Well, in an extraordinary coincidence, it’s Vegas Elvis!

  22. Metro says:

    Thinking about the literary porno possibilities:

    “He stuffed his bloated Elvis into her silken jumpsuit …”

    Hey! Where’s the friggin’ porn tag? I almost wasted a great line about having invading her Sudatenland.

  23. Metro says:

    “Invaded”. Sorry, it lost something in the translation.

  24. raincoaster says:

    Having/Invading maybe?

  25. I’m the “100% All-beef Thermometer.”

    I wish.

  26. raincoaster says:

    Metric or Celsius?

  27. rob says:

    Julius Pleaser lol

  28. raincoaster says:

    That’s a good one. Now go invade Egypt (I hear she’s free Saturday).

  29. Anonymous says:

    Jake.

    I didn’t name it from that generator, I made it up myself because I find “Jake” to be a really sexy name.

  30. raincoaster says:

    This may be why there are no other links to that name.

  31. Paul says:

    Sploogemaster 3000

  32. big a whole says:

    i am a penis

  33. Nick Phelps says:

    Squirmin’ Herman the One-Eyed German…

    P.S. I do have a huge one… 12 inches!

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