Octopus Sex Man Gets Off
20 Jul 2008 24 Comments
in Allegory, Art, Crime, Cthulhu, Culture, Dating, Humour, Porn, Sex, Squid, Weird, Zeta Males, animals, fetish, gross, horror, humor, octopus, sad
How’s THAT for a title?
Yes, Rodney Scott McLagan of Hobart, Australia, hereinafter and for the rest of his natural life at the very least known as Octopus Sex Man, has been released from custody with a $1500 fine and a suspended four-month sentence for possessing 31,000 images of pony, snake, dog, tiger and octopus porn.
“Without the opportunity for normal sexual relationships fantasy is often indulged. It also emerges from the report that you are particularly self-conscious about your teeth.”
It is reportedly the first case of British teeth being responsible for a shokushu goukan fetish. Still, better that than throwing him back to try to swim in the human gene pool; It’s polluted enough in those waters. The Zeta Male is (surprisingly, given his usual body composition) the very opposite of buoyant.
I suppose that’s why he likes the bottom-feeding octopus.
The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife
Jul 20, 2008 @ 12:29:34
Did you get that picture from Nurse Myra? And octopus sex? Yewww!
Jul 20, 2008 @ 14:37:01
Her dream is to get drunk and pass out in the seafood case at the supermarket?
Jul 20, 2008 @ 16:11:01
I beg your indulgence oh blogmeister: er… I know that sexual images of children is completely wrong and the man should be castrated forthwith but as for the octopus.. am I to understand from the comic strip that all these animals are delicto inflagrate with a woman? (whatever that means, I’m sure Metro will tell us)
Jul 20, 2008 @ 21:59:25
That, indeed, is a great post title.
Jul 21, 2008 @ 00:01:49
I do not actually know what kind of sex the octopi in the images were having. And I gather from the reports that the man had no sexual interest in children; he only saw those images while he was actually looking for some beasty porn.
That image is “The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife” by Warren Holder, which is based on the classic 1814 Shunga print The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife by Hokusai, which I dare not post because it’s too explicit and could get my blog deep-sixed.
http://www.flickr.com/photo.gne?id=49903
Jul 21, 2008 @ 01:42:13
This is the stuff nightmares are made of . . .
Jesus Crispies
~m
Jul 21, 2008 @ 02:00:25
Uh. Why yes. How horrible that picture is. Golly, nobody could find THAT erotic, eh? Nosiree! Nobody around here, that’s for sure!
Jul 21, 2008 @ 04:38:17
The only better post title would be “Lesbian Amputee Dwarf Porn.” Hit City.
Jul 21, 2008 @ 07:10:00
I anticipate your posting it very shortly. But bring Britney into it somehow.
Jul 21, 2008 @ 18:50:20
If the Octopus above the age of majority consents, has a crime truly been committed? Personally, I wear a wetsuit so that the paparazzi will never catch me in a compromising position with a sea creature…
Jul 21, 2008 @ 19:23:53
Well, at least you’ll surf safe.
If you ever get a chance to get intimate with some of the current crop of celebrities, I suggest you keep a Hazmat suit handy.
Jul 22, 2008 @ 05:52:34
Davidscub– Just watch out for the beak. It’s no fun.
Jul 22, 2008 @ 06:23:43
Is that the voice of experience?
Jul 22, 2008 @ 06:45:19
No. I’m just your straight man. What does “octopus” mean in latin?
Jul 22, 2008 @ 08:36:04
“Italian boyfriend”
Jul 22, 2008 @ 22:48:35
According to one English-to-Latin translator, “Italian girlfriend” is “Puella per amplus pectus quod a vegrandis moustache.”
Jul 22, 2008 @ 23:23:08
Yes, I think that’s right.
Jul 23, 2008 @ 00:20:42
I don’t understand why he would be in trouble for having pictures of animal sex. Of the kids, yes, but of the other stuff? He’s being listed as a sex offender. Is he really that dangerous to anybody? He looks at pictures of octopus sex and that makes him dangerous. Crime must be slow in his neighborhood. Octopus parents better keep their octopus babies close, eh?
He actually found a picture of octopus having sex? I’ve never seen such a thing; now I know not to look at it if I run into a photo! :lol:
Jul 23, 2008 @ 00:23:45
This article is on the same page as your link:
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24023081-5012895,00.html
a ticked off man cut off his own head with a chainsaw because he was being forced out of his home.
How exactly does that happen?
Think about it.
How in the heck do you cut off your own friggin’ head with a chainsaw?
Jul 23, 2008 @ 00:30:42
Did you see this 6 legged fawn?
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24059462-5012895,00.html
two tails, two pelvises and 6 legs. (from the same page as your link as well – freaky stuff you find woman)
Jul 23, 2008 @ 00:49:43
Yes, I saw that. I think he was just counting on the weight. You set the thing going and you go for it. Takes a few minutes to bleed out, but only about thirty seconds for the brain to shut down, so the speed of one’s death really depends on which side of the neck you choose to cut first.
Ah, the benefits of having a mother in Medical Records.
Nov 17, 2009 @ 00:17:27
I think I have been online way too long. Tentacle porn doesn’t even make me bat an eyelash anymore.
(… and thanks, I had wondered what had happened to Ghastly… it’s been a while since I hung out in Wil Wheaton’s forums… ;) )
Nov 17, 2009 @ 18:17:43
I never did; “You must register” OH MUST I MISTER SUPERSTAR??? Sorry, I don’t take that from anybody whose agent talked him into being Wesley Crusher.