The Horror! The Horror!

I cannot even hint what it was like, for it was a compound of all that is unclean, uncanny, unwelcome, abnormal, and detestable. It was the ghoulish shade of decay, antiquity, and dissolution; the putrid, dripping eidolon of unwholesome revelation, the awful baring of that which the merciful earth should always hide. God knows it was not of this world – or no longer of this world – yet to my horror I saw in its eaten-away and bone-revealing outlines a leering, abhorrent travesty on the human shape; and in its mouldy, disintegrating apparel an unspeakable quality that chilled me even more.
HP Lovecraft, The Outsider

So, today I was shopping for a bathing suit and…

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27 thoughts on “The Horror! The Horror!

  1. max says:

    Cute. Did you buy a bathing suit or retreat in defeat?

  2. raincoaster says:

    Bought the first one that didn’t make me look like some kind of cadaver specimen. Never surrender!

  3. alejna says:

    Oh, that quote is brilliant. You crack me up. (I’m also not terribly keen on shopping for bathing suits. I find it preferable to avoid beaches and swimming pools for as many years as possible.)

  4. raincoaster says:

    I wouldn’t mind beaches and pools, if it weren’t for the other people there.

  5. Yes,that’s why we need to win the lottery, so we can have our own private pools/beaches.

  6. raincoaster says:

    With our own private cabana boys!

  7. Hilarious! I don’t mind bathing suits, as long has they’re ankle-length and have long sleeves.

  8. or as long “as.”

  9. raincoaster says:

    If I had my own private pool I wouldn’t even bother with a bathing suit. But, alas, I do not.

  10. the nag says:

    When I find a bathing suit I can wear Spanx under, I’ll buy it. Until then it’s caftans for me!

  11. raincoaster says:

    Why doesn’t Spanx make bathing suits?

  12. max says:

    So Rain, when do we get the bathing suit photos?

    :::scamper:::

  13. max says:

    That is not the same and you know it.

  14. alejna says:

    “I wouldn’t mind beaches and pools, if it weren’t for the other people there.”

    So true. And so true of so many other places and things.

  15. azahar says:

    So now that you have a new bathing suit, where will you wear it?

  16. raincoaster says:

    Well, I figure I’ll stick it on under my pants when I go rollerblading and take a dip in the ocean. There’s a nice beach 7.5 miles from my house, which makes a nice loop. The question is, what to do with the skates while I’m in the water. I suppose I COULD just run there, but I don’t like running nearly as much as skating and besides, it requires a sports bra, which would look stupid with a bandeau bathing suit.

    You know, Sears has the most awesome sale. And they have inflatable pools that are four feet deep now…for less than fifty bucks. And I happen to have about $120 still on my Sears gift card. Hmmmm…

  17. Cthulhu hath noted your aversion to water and is at this moment, delegating several minions to commit you to the deep. Even if it IS only four feet deep – - -

  18. loricat says:

    Rain, bring it down to the Okanagan and we can go for quick dips in the lake.

  19. raincoaster says:

    See, I tolja we could summon Archie!

    Loricat, I intend to, but first I have to stay here and make boring old money. If you can find me a room to teach in that has nine computers and costs less than $200 a day, I could go up there and make money. Don’t you have CAPS computer rooms up there? And does ANYONE use them on a Saturday?

  20. Philipa says:

    Does my bum look big in this? Yup, ’cause you are no longer a teenager.

    Oh for the days of striped bathing suits and Chitty chitty bang bang bathing huts. But I’m English, very very white, and culturally allowed to look like a beached whale at any resort on the planet. I tan like a belicia beacon – I go red then white again. Calamine lotion punctuated my childhood as I blistered in occasional sunshine on a pebbled shoreline littered with oil deposits and dead seaweed. Ahh memories. When you’re stuck in Blighty on holiday no-one cares what you wear.

  21. Metro says:

    I love being a guy. Hairy legs? Bermudas? No problem.

    And any of the wimps, XX or XY or undetermined, who feel too sensitive to endure people actually, y’know, looking at them should hop on down to the beach near der metroplatz, which is occasionally occupied by fat hairy Germans in Speedos.

    After that, everything becomes much prettier … well, everything else at any rate …

  22. raincoaster says:

    You’ve never seen a fat hairy Italian in a Speedo, have you? Or their men?

  23. Philipa says:

    Eew!!

    A dark haired beauty, much younger than me, gave my son a kiss yesterday and he pulled away and asked loudly ‘do you have a moustache?’ Bless.

  24. raincoaster says:

    He’ll be joining the BNP any day now.

  25. Metro says:

    “I tend tae frighten people at th’beach; Y’see, being Scottish, ah’m nat’rully pale blue, and it takes me a fortnight tae get white.”
    –Billy Connoly

  26. raincoaster says:

    Billy Connoly at the beach would frighten anyone.

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