quiz: which felony are you?

Oh good heavens, I don’t know where this quiz came up with such a terrible thing to say about me! Golly jeepers I just can’t imagine! And besides, I was buying toys for orphans at the time…I put it on my Facebook Status!

You Are Stalking

You tend to be very obsessive. Once you focus your attention on something or someone, it’s all you think about.

You are also very secretive. People don’t know much about the life that you lead.

You are attracted to weak people. You may want to prey on them, but you also may just want to help them.

You need attention, and you can get desperate if you aren’t getting attention from the right person. You’ll do about anything to get noticed.

28 thoughts on “quiz: which felony are you?

  1. You Are Kidnapping
    You love to be in control. You are incredibly dominant.
    A part of you even likes to make people suffer. It’s all about power!

    You love to take risks, especially if the potential payoff is huge.
    But you wouldn’t be in crime only for the money. You’re twisted enough to just enjoy screwing with people.

    Oh, good, I’ve always wanted to be a kidnapper! Now to go out and kidnap some young hunk.

  2. I’m blackmail:

    You are a good detective. You have dirt on everyone you know.
    And instead of gossiping, you sit on information that may be useful to you someday.

    You love power games. Especially if (and pretty much only if) you have the upper hand.
    You are brilliant and calculating. No one knows what you have in store!

    I can live with that.

  3. Yeah, but there’s no money in blackmail now that nobody is ashamed of anything. I had to change my whole career plan!

    Kidnapping; now, kidnapping sounds good. I think there must be a natural progression from stalking, don’t you?

  4. Hi.

    My name is Rachel Marsden. I’ve seen your photo at miss604 and I know where you live. I realise your being female makes you only one-tenth the fun, but I haven’t had a good stalk in … what, three weeks?

    See you soon,


  5. Arson.

    No doubt about it, you have a serious destructive streak. You can’t help it! Sometimes you just get so frustrated with the world, and you have to let your aggression out

    You have a notoriously bad temper. You are obsessed with getting your revenge. You are obviously a pyromaniac, whether you realize it or not. It feels great to watch something burn.

    Excuse me, but I have to go and finish my wicker man…

  6. Ian: do you KNOW the history of me and Rachel Marsden? We’ve gone toe-to-toe more than once. The last couple of times she made a complete ass of herself, very publicly, but when has that so much as slowed her down. Lately she claims to be working on a bunch of political campaigns; campaigns so proud of her contribution that she can’t get one of them to admit it on the record.

    Arson is fun. Stony could probably get in the Observer again if he did the Wicker Man thing; explain it with reference to Burning Man and ancient pagan rituals and you could even get a grant for it!

  7. I have the 2,000-year-old standing stones nearby and a stone knife, but try finding a Vestal Virgin these days. Sigh, pagan rituals just aren’t what they used to be.

  8. Yeah, but the great thing about neopaganism is it’s not big on virgins at all! You can just use a woman who hasn’t had an orgasm this year, and there are TONS of those around.

  9. You Are Fraud
    You will do anything to get ahead. And if you fail, you can always reinvent yourself.
    You probably have a sordid past, and you’re good at completely hiding it.

    You find it easy to lie. No one can tell if you’re lying, and lying doesn’t make you feel guilty.
    You think people are gullible. And you rather fool them than get fooled.


  10. You Are Arson
    No doubt about it, you have a serious destructive streak. You can’t help it!
    Sometimes you just get so frustrated with the world, and you have to let your aggression out

    You have a notoriously bad temper. You are obsessed with getting your revenge.
    You are obviously a pyromaniac, whether you realize it or not. It feels great to watch something burn.

    For the love of God, I’ve never burned ANYTHING.

  11. Rain, I didn’t know that you’d already been pig-wrestling with RM – can you link to whatever public embarrassment that might be?

    I don’t know why I have this interest in her – she became notorious after I left the coast. I suppost I have a hard time believing someone so screwed up can be from my backyard, but then again, there’s that Pickton guy…

  12. With whom I went for coffee. Oh, I know ALL the lunatics, I tell ya!

    Today RM was on Valleywag saying Steve Jobs looks fabulous and she wants to get his diet secrets. And I say, the sooner the better!

    Some links (and these are only a few):



    Marsden submitted a photo to a news site that turned out to be a total photoshop:

    (this one is particularly hilarious, as I’m pals with the guy on FB and link to him every damn day at Ayyyy.com; the next time she surfaced was to try to pass off that Photoshop she stole as a genuine photo)

    The list goes on:


  13. Am I correct in thinking that RM is the long-haired Canadian talking head who made an outrageous comment about the personal hygiene of Pakistanis last year? There was some sort of cricket connection if I recall correctly.

  14. Rain – thanks for all those links.

    You MUST go to her blog (I won’t like to it but its got something to do with daily drive-by —- anyway she whines and pouts about how the national post didn’t print her self-serving letter to the editor! I laughed and laughed – then wrote the post myself and congratulated them on their good judgement.

    Her missive:
    Canada will never have a Sarah Palin – a strong, thoroughly originally, politically incorrect conservative woman with a controversial personal life – because we all get driven down to the USA. Sarah Palin would be burned at the stake in Canada and drummed out of town – by the very people who wrote your editorial. I should know; I’ve been there.

    Controversial personal life? How about stalker on steroids?

  15. Stony, Raul, yes. She’s got a long history of stalkerish behavior and tried to cost one man his career; fortunately, he fought back and set the record straight, but unfortunately Simon Fraser University had already paid her for her claims, and then they just paid him for his. They should have sued her.

    Her blog’s here on WP, I know, because when I made a comment in off-topic about “ick, I think she’s FLIRTING with me” which she was, she dropped a comment. She’s probably got her name on Google Alerts and the only reason we haven’t seen her here is: 1 no direct links to her blog and 2 comments aren’t indexed by Google.

  16. Yes, and for the record the consensus in Vancouver is that she’s not only a whackjob, but an evil one as well. Those are two separate issues: I know a lot of officially “insane” people, but very few of them are evil.

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