National Cleavage Day
05 Apr 2009 25 Comments
in Celebrity, Culture, Etiquette, Humour, National Cleavage Day, Porn, Sex, beauty, bigotry, fetish, gender, humor, meme, tasteless
That caught your attention, didn’t it?
Well, yesterday really was National Cleavage Day in South Africa, presumably the only podunk nation/state that Wonderbra could talk into this pulchritudinous publicity stunt. Which is not to say we look upon it as a cynically synthetic corporate holiday (although we do) but rather to say we think that Wonderbra is picking a nation that needs all the help it can get, seriously.
When was the last time you heard of a Playboy Bunny from South Africa? Come on, try. And have you eyeballed Winnie Mandela? The woman’s waist outmeasures her boobage by nearly two to one. I know middle-aged basement-dwelling geeks who have three cup sizes on her, and they’re men!
Speaking of which, it’s time to address the sexism inherent in a National Cleavage Day which includes only potential consumers of the Wonderbra. Surely we should, in the name of fairness, open it up to potential consumers of the Brossiere as well. And among those, there is one clear winner.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen and those of both genders who are less than ladylike or gentlemanly, the best chest in the world belongs to one person, and one person only, and that person does not use a Wonderbra.
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Apr 05, 2009 @ 04:48:28
He will marry me.
Apr 05, 2009 @ 04:54:23
Take! A! Number!
Apr 05, 2009 @ 06:02:40
ouch, that hurt. podunk? goshdang, feel like kicking some indians off their ancestral land now… oh no, thats you guys, my bad.
rather harsh for a little lighthearted fun, something which we sorely need in a country which you rightfully point out, needs all the help it can get.
i mean just look at our president to be, a fallen member (excuse the pun) of the moral regeneration movement who had sex with a young female family friend who is HIV positive and a lesbian, because she was wearing a wrap (kanga in the vernacular).
get this.
he knew she was hiv+, didn’t use a condom and had a shower afterwards to prevent catching HIV/Aids. He was charged with rape, but his lawyers outgunned the prosecution. His defence was that she was showing off her thighs and he just knew he had to oblige her with sex.
The victim has since left the country of her birth because she fears for her life. He’s also embroiled in a massive arms deal scandal, and fighting numerous charges of corruption. He is the president of the ruling political party, but we have the vice president of the ANC as the countrys president, because the president we had (mbeki) was removed from office because of in house power struggle. Charming hey?
the ANC has refused to release our yearly crime statistics, because we’re going into an election and the excuse is that it will politicise the statistics.
So while more people are murdered daily in South Africa than die in the Iraq War, we can do nothing about it, because the ruling party doesn’t want people to really know what’s going on. Their power is vested in our blood, and they don’t give a shit. The voters are too intimidated to stand up for themselves and say enough, because, any devil is better than going back to the past. frankly, i agree with them, but we are running out of bodies here.
So if some hardbodies want to bop around in a bra for a few hours, (which in my podunk view is a helluva lot better than being kept on the payroll of a octogenerian along with the rest of his coterie [a much better word than whores don't you think?]), I think generally, we don’t mind, because really, there are bigger problems.
Apr 05, 2009 @ 06:53:04
And you’re trying to convince me you’re NOT podunk?
Apr 05, 2009 @ 11:10:37
Um, I am pretty sure Charlize Theron is from South Africa. Kind of making up for all the slackers.
Apr 05, 2009 @ 23:02:42
Shhhhh – don’t go spoiling Rain’s rants with facts ;)
Apr 06, 2009 @ 10:31:48
oops
Apr 06, 2009 @ 22:23:06
Yes, but something (ie her modeling portfolio) tells me her breasts are not South African in origin. And Hugh Jackman’s chest is STILL better than hers.
Apr 07, 2009 @ 02:19:03
For those of you who would like some female cleavage of South African origin, I present to you, La Dolce Vita’s cleavage. You’re welcome.
P.S. Enjoyed the male cleavage.
Apr 07, 2009 @ 10:40:50
Aaah, thanks Silverstar… My own personal cleavage pimp :twisted:
Apr 07, 2009 @ 11:42:03
Wow, what’s her cut of the action for that?
Apr 07, 2009 @ 13:07:45
Wouldn’t you like to know?
Apr 07, 2009 @ 13:16:23
I would like to draw your attention to someone who re-tweeted this post:
http://twitter.com/hugh_jackman/status/1469075575
Apr 07, 2009 @ 21:37:57
This photo is clearly faked. What sort of twerp wears a hat once referred to by someone as “The Hipster Sombrero” to the beach?
He’s probably actually standing in a greenscreen studio discussing his high Elf mage’s hit points with the shoot director.
Apr 07, 2009 @ 23:40:27
Yah, yah, who cares? He’s the kind of twerp whose twitter stream sent me 127 lust-crazed, soon-to-be-regular readers! Also: his chest looked best in this pic, so it went in, hipster sombrero notwithstanding.
Apr 08, 2009 @ 19:07:26
Oh? You send your regulars sample packs of Metamucil now, do you?
Apr 08, 2009 @ 19:12:08
Either that’s not funny at all or I need more coffee. Betting on the former.
Apr 11, 2009 @ 08:12:54
Actually it’s neither–They’ve obviously got you on methadone again this week.
Apr 11, 2009 @ 10:44:39
If only they’d put some caffeine in it!
Apr 17, 2009 @ 04:47:15
He has to marry me. Somehow
Mar 11, 2010 @ 02:09:35
you stupid idiot!! your excuse of an article/report is no match to the beauty and talent that comes out of south-africa. you should feel ashamed. this country had suffered so much , and if some lighthearted fun comes our way we will grab it with both hands. national cleavage day is a wonderfull way of celebrating woman! have you really got nothing best to do withyour time? calling our country a podunk nation……. national cleavage day is coming up again…and what fun it’s going to be, i take it while we’re going to be at cocktail events hosted by the wonderfull brand that is wonderbra, you will be stuck behind your computer updating your latest blog…..sorry but i’d rather be a podunk than an illiterate moron that thinks so little of a nation that has risen past all expectations.
Mar 12, 2010 @ 14:07:44
Gosh, ann, you’re right. The women of South Africa are obviously true ladies, paragons not only of pulchritude but of grammar and graceful femininity as well.
But tell me; if you take pride in rising “past all expectations,” why don’t you support other countries’ low expectations of you?
And, for the record, you are an illiterate moron. Just look at what you wrote!
Mar 24, 2010 @ 03:56:31
I feel really sorry for you…whist i happened to fall upon this whist actually looking up for national cleavage dya date….so as to celebrate it….you actually are such a low life that you harass a country that has so much to offer….i get the feeling that i could get where you are from….arrogant…pathetic and nothing to offer the world….hummmm….idiot!
Mar 25, 2010 @ 07:45:48
ann, you keep coming back to a post that’s a year old, and doing so without improving your English skills. This, my dear friend, is foolishness. Why, you could have been spending all this time doing exercises to increase your chest and stuffing it into a $40 bra so you’d have a shot at winning this contest instead of hunching over your computer, probably braless, tits flopping like beagle ears on your belly.
Now, seriously. Do you think you’ve got what it takes to beat Hugh Jackman?