Introducing Nicole Dobernig: there’s a reason it’s called TWITter!

Just another typical midnight online. Another typical midnight when Nicole Dobernig, someone I’d clashed with weeks ago over spamming me appears out of the blue from yet another of her accounts (even her parrot’s account was attacking me the last time, but she did eventually realize it was a bad idea to use one of her clientsprofessional accounts to wage a flamewar, and deleted the tweets) and, of course, starts berating me. Because there’s nothing good on tv, I guess.

After challenging me to a “Rumble in Gastown” at the Heather and tossing off “fattyfatfat” insults like a cornered schoolyard bully, she did something truly unforgiveable:

She bored me.

I’m sorry, but there is just so much watered-down Eckhart Tolle and “I am an enlieteneded person of kindnesss” crapola a person can take. Surely the UN has some sort of law against this Torture By Oprah-ism? Click over the jump to see what it looks like when a small brain snaps under the weight of hostility and New Ageism. As always, read from the bottom up to get the full chronological effect:

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  1. @raincoaster it is sad u seek suffering and I am sorry for you that you are heard 12 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster
  2. @raincoaster so Bazaar that you pleasure in ones suffering good on you to hurt more 13 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  3. @raincoaster not exactly 15 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  4. what ever I am don with basic sillyz 15 minutes ago via HootSuite

  5. @raincoaster it is Bazaar that u do not understand we have tools to manage many. 16 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  6. @raincoaster FYI i have a business and u of all do not understand they are real people? R U A mickey mouse operation? 17 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  7. @raincoaster good luck … 26 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  8. Risk of Bone Fractures With Certain Antacid Drugs http://ow.ly/2elDG #Health #Fitness 39 minutes ago via HootSuite

  1. @raincoaster gotcha 2 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster
  2. @raincoaster family crap carried down..I learn every day 2 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  3. @raincoaster be nice 3 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  4. @raincoaster biut a goo d chess player & AD firms pay me for it 4 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  5. @raincoaster also I am not a bully 5 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  6. @raincoaster I was of u and E. Tolle took me under his wing. It is life changing, 5 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  7. @raincoaster to stroke ur ego and see suffering 6 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  8. @raincoaster please learn that it is not go for you 7 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  9. @raincoaster Bravo please understand kindness has fallen 8 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  10. @raincoaster funny but I do not drink alot because I can’t. I am plastered on 1 12 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  11. @raincoaster my error tho 13 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  12. @raincoaster I did not know that a rumble suggested that but a meeting of force 14 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  13. @raincoaster oh god does that mean violence? we shout, drink and take peoples money 15 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  14. @raincoaster WHAT? I went to school in Switzerland 16 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  15. RT @AndreNoelPotvin has sold more than a million copies! The Top fitness Handbooks !! http://amzn.to/9wySCC #Fitness 18 minutes ago via HootSuite

  16. ibeyungc

    Everything i need 22 minutes ago via txt Retweeted by NicoleDobernig

  17. @raincoaster na really just one but as you want. And take me down but know people stand by me. I shall never hurt anyone 23 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  18. @raincoaster I will have your walker ready 24 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  19. @raincoaster u betcha!! Metally handilly ❤¸•˚º•✩♡✩•º˚•¸❤ 26 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  20. @raincoaster may be we can fight up the grind oneday? Like good Swiss? 28 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  21. @raincoaster Hu? no hang over I just have 1 glass & can’t drink alot.My bloodsuger is low esp. after Grousegrind 29 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  22. @raincoaster gotta go – back to work loading content… good night… it was fun to rumble 34 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  23. @raincoaster Hence the Ruffian 35 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  24. @raincoaster or just out of shape? 36 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  25. raincoaster

    .@NicoleDobernig What is this, “Rumble on the Playground?” Have a colonic and get over it, child 39 minutes ago via TweetDeck Retweeted by NicoleDobernig

  26. @raincoaster so are you over 50? 36 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  27. @raincoaster u will be surprised as I do not hide and I am real . Look and see who will stand by me… so park ur broom & we shall me 37 minutes ago via HootSuite in reply to raincoaster

  28. Tuesday in Gtown meets the good, the bad and the UGLY..he he he he 40 minutes ago via HootSuite

First, a DM, as I was planning to meet some friends at the Heather:

Nicole NicoleDobernig

I soooooo look forward to that… he he he he about 2 hours ago

So do I. It’s been a couple of years since I had anyone thrown out of the Irish Heather (thanks Brody, you were awesome, as always) so this should be worth a few laughs.

If you’d like to see BOTH sides of the dialogue, here are mine:

  1. . @NicoleDobernig and I am sorry for you that you’re so dumb. It must be difficult to go through life like that 24 minutes ago via TweetDeck
  2. @nickb I love that man. He’s a genius #louie 25 minutes ago via TweetDeck in reply to nickb

  3. @johnathonwilson I’m not sure if this one is drunk or crazy. I’m leaning towards 50/50, with a side of stupid 25 minutes ago via TweetDeck in reply to johnathonwilson

  4. . @NicoleDobernig Don’t stop, you’re killing me! 25 minutes ago via TweetDeck

  5. @NicoleDobernig It IS hilarious, though. Thank god for Tweetshots.com 28 minutes ago via TweetDeck in reply to NicoleDobernig

  6. . @NicoleDobernig I just wonder how delighted your clients are when they find you’ve been using their twitter accounts to attack people 29 minutes ago via TweetDeck

  7. @barrydewar There aren’t as many about as there should be, and they’re very difficult to tame 33 minutes ago via TweetDeck in reply to barrydewar

  8. New Ayyy post: Friday Caption Contest winner announced: http://bit.ly/cBU3kb Hey @tedmwrites You won a hypothetical prize 33 minutes ago via TweetDeck

  9. @stonehead1 Yes, that’s obviously your fault. 34 minutes ago via TweetDeck in reply to stonehead1

  10. . @NicoleDobernig how long did it take you to register @Tubbos4Vanity in your condition? How many alter personalities do you have btw? 34 minutes ago via TweetDeck

  11. @TheBluey Actual dead, or just career dead? 41 minutes ago via TweetDeck in reply to TheBluey

  12. @CathyBrowne No worries. I’m always up for amusing flamewars 41 minutes ago via TweetDeck in reply to CathyBrowne

  13. @TheBluey Next up, telekinesis 43 minutes ago via TweetDeck in reply to TheBluey

  14. @barrydewar I agree. There must be a huge market of geeky bird-fanciers 43 minutes ago via TweetDeck in reply to barrydewar

  15. @TheBluey You have achieved MIND CONTROL! about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to TheBluey

  16. @TheBluey Oh, I know. She just started nattering about antacid drugs, so I thought “wow, she takes instruction well” about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to TheBluey

  17. This is very sad. The world does not seem to contain a birdcage shaped like a tardis. My life is somehow incomplete about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  18. @TheBluey speaking of medication. about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to TheBluey

  19. @NicoleDobernig You can count on me to be at least as nice as you. Only without spam about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to NicoleDobernig

  20. . @NicoleDobernig Actually, I have to copy these, they are so precious. Can I get them embroidered on something? about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  21. . @NicoleDobernig if you still pick fights in the middle of the night with near-strangers, then you still have much to learn from him, no? about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  22. . @NicoleDobernig Please quit with the bad ESL Oprah-isms. You’re boring me to death about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  23. .@NicoleDobernig oh, absolutely. You dropped that when the claws came out about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  24. @LostWeeknight Yes, there’s also Blogging for Beginners online, you can see the list at http://raincoastermedia.com about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to LostWeeknight

  25. @NicoleDobernig Apparently so about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to NicoleDobernig

  26. RT @LAEntJobs: #Job posted: Financial Analyst, Music Publishing at Walt Disney (Burbank, CA) http://teeny.me/6j about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  27. . @NicoleDobernig http://justfuckinggoogleit.com about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  28. . @NicoleDobernig I have no idea what it means. It was your idea, remember? If you want to shout and drink, you’ll fit right in on the DTES about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  29. . @NicoleDobernig Well then you’d better start swimming, hadn’t you? about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  30. Well, most of the time they don’t know what they’re saying, @TheBluey about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  31. @azahar Good plan. How many games do you have? Cuberunner is a good one about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to azahar

  32. . @NicoleDobernig Then what isthis “rumble in gastown” laff-riot that was your idea? Remember? We’re meeting behind the school at recess about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  33. @azahar That’s good. It’s awful when you’re by yourself and have to sit and wonder in the hospital. Too much to think about about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to azahar

  34. . RT @NicoleDobernig: @raincoaster u betcha!! Metally handilly ❤¸•˚º•✩♡✩•º˚•¸❤ [that's one hell of a glass of wine. How many litres was it?] about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  35. @NicoleDobernig Sure, head up there right now and wait for me about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to NicoleDobernig

  36. @TheBluey No, as far as I know they don’t race parrots. They shouldn’t teach them to talk, either about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to TheBluey

  37. . @NicoleDobernig And there’s that ESL handicap that only kicks in after “1 glass” right about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  38. RT @NicoleDobernig: @raincoaster Hu? no hang over I just have 1 glass & can’t drink alot.My bloodsuger is low esp. after Grousegrind about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  39. @TheBluey You can find it on YouTube, very sad. She was the greatest filly of the year, he was the greatest colt. Match race for them about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to TheBluey

  40. @TheBluey The Ruffian/Foolish Pleasure match race. Ruffian broke her sesamoid bone and they shot her. She was leading 4 lengths about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to TheBluey

  41. . @NicoleDobernig Good luck with the hangover, as always! about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  42. @TheBluey I watched that race, actually. about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck in reply to TheBluey

  43. .@NicoleDobernig You know what happened to Ruffian? They shot her. about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  44. . @NicoleDobernig Honey, I’m googleable about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck

  45. . @NicoleDobernig Oh, honey, do not approach the internet after drinking. about 2 hours ago via TweetDeck

  46. @CathyBrowne Well, look after yourself for god’s sake about 2 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to CathyBrowne

  47. @shelter68 Apparently. I have never seen one of these guys making a sale, though about 2 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to shelter68

  48. @LostWeeknight No, it was Blogging for Writers. It started ten weeks ago about 2 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to LostWeeknight

  49. .@NicoleDobernig What is this, “Rumble on the Playground?” Have a colonic and get over it, child about 2 hours ago via TweetDeck

  50. @azahar That’s good. It’s always better to have someone handy after a hospital visit about 2 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to azahar

  51. @NicoleDobernig Oh, you can’t imagine how I’ve missed you. All of your personalities. By all means, crash @theirishheather about 2 hours ago via TweetDeck

Fortunately, dealing with someone of that mental capacity doesn’t take much of mine, and I made three blog posts and answered ten questions in the technical support forum while that was going on. So how was your Tuesday night?

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25 thoughts on “Introducing Nicole Dobernig: there’s a reason it’s called TWITter!

  1. Pingback: Britney Spears is coming unravelled | lolebrity

  2. I hope her client checks his tweet feed periodically — she’s tweeting tripe from her own account, and just automatically re-tweeting all of it, regardless of content/relevance to his real estate business profile. She should be building him a following of people who would respect him…

  3. She’s doing that on at least five accounts I’ve found. What’s more, she doesn’t know that Google automatically downgrades pages (and Twitter accounts) that simply repost the same material as other pages. So, basically, she’s encouraging search engines to consider her a spammer.

    Which, I remind all, she is. That’s how this whole thing started.

  4. I think it’s very unprofessional of you to name another person who may not fully understand her actions.

    Fully calling someone out by their full name – having it show up on search – comes from a place of anger and is strictly childish.

    You should update this post or fully remove it.
    You are being a child and it damages your reputation.

    What are you 15?

  5. That’s the name of the Twitter account, it’s the name in each of her posts, it’s the name she attacked me under. It’s also the name she does business under, which isn’t really my problem; part of the whole point of this post is: behave professionally when using your professional account (and more particularly, the professional accounts of your clients, who trust you).

    I’m no fan of hers, but even I didn’t attempt to imply that she was really not mentally competent to use Twitter. I’m sure she’s grateful to you, Azra.

  6. “Azra”, the main difference between rain and someone like the subject of this post (who also accused rain of being a child…) is that our rain is 100% consistent in her inconsistency, and stands by everything she says and does. The point is, her reputation is rock solid….the lesson for others is don’t act like an idiot where she can see you.

  7. Well, and also I don’t threaten to crash other people’s dinners with drunken shouting just because weeks ago I made an ass of myself in front of you. I just get the fuck over it.

  8. Raincoaster….I LOVE that you called this moron on out on her own stupidity. “Azra”…aka Nicole Dobernig…needs to do us all a favor (least of all her clients) and resign from twittering, facebooking, or any other “social” (perhaps “sociopath” is a better word) media in order to salvage what little dignity she and her clients still have.

  9. Thanks, DeeDee. What’s your verdict: dumb, drunk, or delusional? I get so tired of people blaming me for just playing back what she said…on the record. Of course she’s deleted the tweets, that’s Internet Drama 101. But I’m the Lucasian Professor of Internet Drama, myself, so that was easily gotten around.

    I can’t believe this all started from a DM campaign of hers to win some pointless contest. I called her out on it, and we were off to the races. Twice, apparently.

  10. No shit you must get tired of people blaming you for pointing out their stupidity! It’s not like you made this garbage up, it is all there in plain writing for everyone to see. Come on people, if you’re not responsible for the words YOU write then who in the hell is?
    BTW Raincoaster…”Lucasian Professor of Internet Drama”??? LMFAO!

  11. Pingback: Gravity: I haz it « raincoaster

  12. LOL! You always make me laugh :-)

    And the UN does have laws against torture by Oprahism – the penalty is to be forced to watch Barney (yes, the purple dinosaur) 10 hours per day!

  13. Pingback: Social Media Drama Lesson #348,948 « raincoaster media

  14. This morning I received a message on facebook from this person I had never heard of…
    “I apologies for you all to be tied in witnessing this persons passionate spite mission to endlessly defame me. (Socialmention) To be frank, I am not sure why. I have done nothing to deserve this. I wish only if all this wasted energy could be driven to contribute and make a positive change in peoples lives.”

    So I did some googling and wound up here. I assume you must be “this person”?

    I chat with you sometimes, I mean… I know who you are. You may recognize my name, but we really aren’t super close. The two people I have in common on facebook are not you….
    Where did this person get the idea that a) I care what you think of her…. and b) to message me at all since I’ve never spoken to her or weighed in on this?

    WHAT PORTAL OF HELL HAVE YOU OPENED?!?!?

  15. Hahahahahaha, that’s hilarious.

    I’m not sure how quoting someone is the same as defaming them, but it’s always nice to hear I’m still having an impact on a near-stranger who got into an apparently-drunken twitter battle with me, nearly a year after the fact.

    I wish she’d make a positive change in her spelling, but perhaps it’s beyond help.

    Also: drama queens passionately, passionately care about being the most important person in your life; they MUST be more important to you than anyone they’ve lost a fight to. It’s tied to her whole self-image.

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