So tomorrow I’m going in to have a crop of Human Pearls™ removed. Yes, this was supposed to be BONANZA DAY, wherein I’d sell said pearls for thousands, perhaps baJILLIONS of dollars, and be set for the rest of my life. Instead, I find out that they no longer give you your gallstones back after they’ve taken them out, they crush them all and test them for cancer, thus destroying my business model and my dreams.
I even built a website for them: YouWantAPieceOfMe?
My silent partner and I are now looking into other humano-agrarian activities including but not limited to sperm farming. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. Please do not accompany your application with a sample.
Anyway, depending on what they give me for the pain, my next blogging could get rather loopy. One of the drawbacks to not having internet at home and not drinking as much is that my drunkblogging has greatly suffered lately, to the point where I’m getting complaints from my readers via email. I promise, if they don’t give me something entertaining on which to blog, I’ll at least write up that restaurant review-style comparison of all the different drugs they’ve given me. Although it’s no secret there’s a strong favorite: