No, REALLY: Julian Assange is a big, fat stainless steel rat just like I told you

Julian Assange has a halo just like I always told you

Julian Assange has a halo just like I always told you

Just like I told you people months ago, Julian Assange is in fact and in actuality and even IRL a stainless steel rat. Who has some tricky issues with Uranus.

First up, Judy Vitale from ReadTheStars. I kind of adore Judy; she’s that slightly loony aunt who makes family reunions tolerable by getting into the Chardonnay and telling people Things They Don’t Want To Hear all night long. Through the crack in the bathroom door if need be.

According to Judy, our boy has a problem. He’s got no fire. He’s all Earth and Water and of course to anyone familiar with the muck he’s neck-deep in right now, this makes total sense. His Uranus (Hisanus?) is squared, poor boy; they can fix that with surgery nowadays. In response to his elemental blockage, he’s compelled to seek out Fire in other people. May I make a suggestion? You can ask AngelNeptuneStar, I’m generally both surrounded by fire, friendly or not, and exuding it myself. Heck, you can ask Albania. Or this NYCTarotReader with whom we spoke earlier.

Seriously, JA, call me. Let’s hook this shit up.

More from her reading from March of this year:

Does Julian Assange have that much influence?  In his head, apparently yes.  If Mr. Assange had spoken to an astrologer, though he would have found that he is in danger of making presumptuous, inflated and grandiose statements at this point in time, as Jupiter comes through to affect the positions of Uranus and the sun at the time of his birth.  Jupiter has an inflationary effect.  Yes, it can mean luck and exposure, and it can also signify braggadocio and over-confidence to the point of arrogance.  In his case, and in anyone’s for that matter, the last thing an over-pumped Uranus needs is a killer dose of steroids! No matter your opinion of Assange or how accurate his self-assessment might be, it’s patently obvious he is a disruptive, revolutionary, and some say, innovative force.  This is the energy of Uranus.

Myanus isn’t nearly that energetic, actually. And I really don’t WANT to know how Jupiter Juice got all over it, I just want him to clean up after himself.

Turning now to the exotic East, that is, the Downtown Eastside, we have a community doctor who also happens to know a thing or two about Chinese Horoscopes, and here is that report, fresh off the Twitter wire:

Kelly Mattheis (@InnerCityDoc)
Nov 26, 2011 @ 17:43:48 

The timing of this blog post was impeccable. Upon further investigation, (because sadly I have nothing else to do) Julian Assange was actually born in the month of the Rat (albeit a Wooden Rat.) The year, however was a Metal Pig… so Astrologically somewhat close.

Kelly Mattheis (@InnerCityDoc)
Nov 26, 2011 @ 18:28:16 

Not to be outdone by a woman with a moon and star blanket…

Admittedly, I don’t know anything about Uranus, but from a Chinese Astrological perspective and not knowing what time he was born, here’s my take.

Yes, Assange does not have any fire easily seen in his Chinese chart, however I would characterize his as more of a Water/Earth issue. He is an earth person with a strong Water team dominating his chart. Earth is supposed to block water but his is yin earth (Earth Ox) immediately beside a yang wood element (Wood Rat) – the image of a tree with it’s roots penetrating into soft soil comes to mind. The water element governs communications. Perhaps his innate inability to block all that water makes him a bit – shall we say, “Wiki-leaky?”

Contrarian me would suggest that it might mean he’s blocking the wiki-leaks instead?

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2 thoughts on “No, REALLY: Julian Assange is a big, fat stainless steel rat just like I told you

  1. Pingback: Afternoon Links: Suri Cruise is Writing her Own Book

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