The Easter Bunny: an emo bio

Happy Easter, Kids! You will be eaten first. Should we start with the ears?

Happy Easter, Kids! You will be eaten first. Should we start with the ears?

Did you ever wonder what motivates the great metaphysical characters of Western civilization? What drives the Tooth Fairy to make his/her nightly rounds, exchanging discarded pieces of human skulls for cold, hard cash? Is Santa a slave to the whims of children worldwide, or is he working some grand master plan? And what are we to make of a bunny who lays chocolate eggs? What kind of creepy Pon-Farr-ish motivation or downmarket chemical stimulus drives him to his zygote-scattering frenzy?

Now we know.

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9 thoughts on “The Easter Bunny: an emo bio

  1. His mom puts to rest the nature vs. nurture debate. I’m wondering if she was a Playboy Bunny at one time, or if male rabbits just have really dominant genes.

    Loved him in “Paws of Fury” and “Donnie Darko.” What a badass!

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