DramaSec: The Power Ballads (now with 20% more awesomeness!)

Fabulous llama iz fabulous!

Fabulous llama iz fabulous!

You know what they say: politics is showbusiness for ugly people.

Ladies and gentlemen of #DramaSec, fans of flamewars, internet drama divas, and audience members: we at the ol’ raincoaster blog are proud to present the first-ever roundup of #DramaSec power ballads. If Music is the universal language (although Money is making a strong showing lately) then let the universe ring with the sound of our over-the-top and senseless interpersonal drama, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing.

Cue The Ballad of Brett Kimberlin:

And now The Adrian Lamo Blues. Not so much a power ballad as political hipster neo-folk, but who can resist a banjo, eh?:

The next one is hard. It’s almost impossible to determine which of these is more awesome, but for very different reasons. And I’m too lazy to look up how to code a table in HTML so they go side by side, so here it is in order of jaw-droppingness, from the lesser to the greater.

The RonBryn Song. You remember Ron, right?

And now, the musical apotheosis of the internet phenomenon known as #DramaSec. If you’re an impatient type, start it at 3:31. If you enjoy insidery jokes about countries to which you’ve never been, watch the whole thing. And do not doubt me when i say this is the apotheosis of awesomenosity. Words, my friends: They will fail you as they failed me.

Julian Assange performing an 80’s power ballad with updated WikiLeaks lyrics while wearing a righteous mullet:

Selah.

It is the East, and Julian is the sun...

It is the East, and Julian is the sun…

UPDATED TO ADD:

Plus bonus lyrics to The RonBryn song, courtesy of Elvira:

Open your web browser

Pretend you’re Neal Rauhauser

That’s one way to meet Ronbryn

He is a one man PRISM

Calls tweeting journalism (He does)

Though its just a lot of jizzim, Ronbryn

If your Mercedes is explodin’

You can’t find Edward Snowden

Who ya gonna call?

Ronbryn.

Barrett Brown, Julian, Patterico, Kimberlin

Troll ‘em all, fuck ‘em up

Ronbryn

You’re a sock

What a crock

Call the doc

What the fuck

SWAT ‘em all

Troll ‘em all

Ronbryn……!

Brett Kimberlin is plottin’

Another case of SWATing

Who’s he gonna call?

Ronbryn

He’ll tweet your misdemeanor

You’ll look like Tony Weiner

Tryin’ to humor Huma Abedin

Smearing smearing smearing

All the way to Barrett’s hearing

Ever thought of disappearing, Ronbryn?

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9 thoughts on “DramaSec: The Power Ballads (now with 20% more awesomeness!)

  1. Our election campaigns only last a few weeks, that means they have so few chances to look stupid they had better get on with it…..

  2. Actually I just filed an article on what’s been happening to the WikiLeaks party lately, and it’s not good. This video, strangely, is the best thing that’s happened to them so far. It’s got a huge amount of interest, 300,000+ views on YouTube, and even people who don’t like Assange think it’s pretty cool. This video is the best thing to happen to their campaign since mid-August at least.

  3. I heard Julian giving a political interview on the radio yesterday and sadly, it wasn’t impressive. I was hoping for answers to the questions and he was just spinning like the rest of them. Surely he has been keeping up with public opinion and knows how much the rubbery answers and spin have already turned the public against the the major parties.

    They played the song clip on tv last night and I have to admit I haven’t been able to listen to it at any time, my hands were firmly clamped over my ears and no-no-no-no chanted. I hate the original so much.
    I wonder if the hits are from Australia or other countries?

    (You might be interested in a short tv series on at the moment called Gruen Nation. It is a very funny but hugely perceptive breakdown of what has gone on in our political week.)

  4. Julian’s always more impressive when he goes off-script, but he rarely does that nowadays, which is too bad. People will vote for charisma, but not if you’re doing your best Al Gore impression. But seriously, you should check out the new lyrics! They’re over 9000% leakier!

    Gruen Nation? I’ll check them out if they’re on YouTube.

  5. Pingback: Afternoon Links: Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta-Jones Have Separated

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