You know what they say: politics is showbusiness for ugly people.
Ladies and gentlemen of #DramaSec, fans of flamewars, internet drama divas, and audience members: we at the ol’ raincoaster blog are proud to present the first-ever roundup of #DramaSec power ballads. If Music is the universal language (although Money is making a strong showing lately) then let the universe ring with the sound of our over-the-top and senseless interpersonal drama, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing.
Cue The Ballad of Brett Kimberlin:
And now The Adrian Lamo Blues. Not so much a power ballad as political hipster neo-folk, but who can resist a banjo, eh?:
The next one is hard. It’s almost impossible to determine which of these is more awesome, but for very different reasons. And I’m too lazy to look up how to code a table in HTML so they go side by side, so here it is in order of jaw-droppingness, from the lesser to the greater.
And now, the musical apotheosis of the internet phenomenon known as #DramaSec. If you’re an impatient type, start it at 3:31. If you enjoy insidery jokes about countries to which you’ve never been, watch the whole thing. And do not doubt me when i say this is the apotheosis of awesomenosity. Words, my friends: They will fail you as they failed me.
Julian Assange performing an 80’s power ballad with updated WikiLeaks lyrics while wearing a righteous mullet:
UPDATED TO ADD:
Plus bonus lyrics to The RonBryn song, courtesy of Elvira:
Open your web browser
Pretend you’re Neal Rauhauser
That’s one way to meet Ronbryn
He is a one man PRISM
Calls tweeting journalism (He does)
Though its just a lot of jizzim, Ronbryn
If your Mercedes is explodin’
You can’t find Edward Snowden
Who ya gonna call?
Barrett Brown, Julian, Patterico, Kimberlin
Troll ‘em all, fuck ‘em up
You’re a sock
What a crock
Call the doc
What the fuck
SWAT ‘em all
Troll ‘em all
Brett Kimberlin is plottin’
Another case of SWATing
Who’s he gonna call?
He’ll tweet your misdemeanor
You’ll look like Tony Weiner
Tryin’ to humor Huma Abedin
Smearing smearing smearing
All the way to Barrett’s hearing
Ever thought of disappearing, Ronbryn?