What if Wonder Woman Were a Disney Princess?

Wonder Woman kicks ass, takes names, brings home the bacon, and fries it up in a pan. And no you can't have any.

Wonder Woman kicks ass, takes names, brings home the bacon, and fries it up in a pan. And no you can't have any.

Now THIS is an avatar of feminine power we can all support. Sure, she may have taken jobs away from the odd dashing prince or fairy godmother, but now they can find new, rewarding careers as ghost writers for her autobiography, fan club presidents, or personal assistants. Win/win/win!

Besides, it’s not like those off-the-shelf Disney Princesses turned out so goddam well.

Hipster Ariel will self-harm if she doesn't get a goddam beer already

Hipster Ariel will self-harm if she doesn't get a goddam beer already

Which brings me to a slight rant, not for the first and surely not for the last time.

Have you been to the GA lately? No? Been to any populist movement of any kind recently? Even a City Council meeting? And seen? These girls? (and they’re always girls, you know?) Who really, really want to make the world, like, a better place, and, huh, oh, just want everyone to FEEL oKAY about it, okay? Okay?

You know?

“In case you hadn’t realized, it has somehow become uncool to sound like you know what you’re talking about? Or believe strongly in what you’re, like, saying? Invisible question marks and parenthetical ‘you know’s and ‘you know what I’m saying’s have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences? Even when those sentences aren’t, like, questions? Declarative sentences, so called because they used to, you know, like, declare things to be true, as opposed to other things that are, like, totally… not?” -  Taylor Mali

Yes, our movement is a tentative one. It is conditional. It is not sure it should be out so late on a school night, and it doesn’t want to run into its boss at the GA. “If there ever was a time it would be now,” says Third Eye Blind in their Occupy anthem, and that’s as conditional a statement as was ever shoehorned into a revolutionary theme. Ambivalence is the precondition of all Occupiers, but we needn’t let it paralyze us. Let’s get okay with uncertainty, with backlash.

Kids, girls, poke your heads out of your scarves for a moment, unturtle thyselves, and listen to me:

If everyone feels safe and supported and comfortable about what we are doing then

WE ARE DOING IT WRONG.

Hipster guys for whatever reason don’t seem to insist that everyone feel okay about things, so I’m leaving them out of this rant although I’m sure to rant on them sometime or other, if only for their choice of novelty facial hair. It’s the girls (and yes, only some of them but enough that it’s led me to conclude this is a problem with the hipster worldview per se and not just two or three girls who bug me) who really want to change the world, who realize that to do it you need to step up into a position of action and power and who, once there, turtle themselves into their scarves, stare at their pigeon toes and hold up the GA while everybody gets “okay” with things.

Girls, you’ve got halfway there. Once the spotlight is on you, remind yourself this isn’t a photoshoot for Tumblr. This isn’t an audition for Suicide Girls (think about that name).

This is your chance to change the world, our REAL chance to change the world, and it requires more courage than anything any of us have ever done before. It is okay to fear. There is plenty to fear. But fuck “fierce.” Become fearsome.

Hold your heads high when you facilitate a GA. Shut down the randos; empower the change artists. When you’re stacking, own your power, because the power of the GA flows through you; you are a vessel of democracy at that point. Feel it. Live and breathe it.

And then lay it on an unsuspecting world.

That’s a lotta blow!

Coco-BOOM

Coco-BOOM

Contrary to my expectations, and to my great disappointment, I learned that this is not how Coco Puffs are made. Au contraire, this is the War on Drugs. Who knew coke was so flammable?

The Guardian reports:

Puerto Concordia, Colombia: anti-narcotics police officers blow up a cocaine processing laboratory after seizing it from the Farc
Photograph: Guillermo Legaria/AFP/Getty Images

Bystanders were extremely moved by the pyrotechnic display, if not thrilled.

NO Moar Bear!

I fucking hate shortages!!

Wikileaks 1: Mainstream Media, um, 1

Whatchoolookinat?

Whatchoolookinat?

It’s a tale told in tweets, a very Twenty-First Century tale, for lo, it is all about recycling, Wikileaks, Russia, Orwellian paranoia, US online surveillance, and the Mainstream Media vs the New Media (remember the New Media? This is it. Are we vindicated or embarrassed?).

In other words, this is what my editors over at the DailyDot.com did NOT decide to run with my latest Wikileaks story, so I’m using it here, so there.

They took out all my wacky Cold War jokes, too, damnation! What’s an article about Russia and the US without a few tasteless Cold War jokes thrown in? Whodathunk a few references here or there to Google’s info-capitalist hegemony would get people in Silicon Valley so touchy?

Our story begins:

which comes from the head of RT, the network which has just picked up Julian Assange‘s new talk show. I repeat: JULIAN ASSANGE’S NEW TALK SHOW.

and translates thusly:

The AFP has issued a note that Assange goes with us. Are mixed there, I went to a meeting withthe explosive, and about the alpha male, and about YES:) #chistyytresh

to which we can only reply:

This might actually convince me to get cable. I’ll just let Twitter tell the rest of the story.

and from my former boss at True/Slant, now in charge of the front page of the NYT.com,

Well, you KNOW there’s no way I’m taking THAT lying down.

Canuckistani Revolutionary

Canuckistani Revolutionary

Weekend Roundup: SOPA, Harper, Hipsters, Canuckistan, and Wikileaks

Prime Minister Stephen Harper Sez Welcome to Canada's beautiful tar sands

Prime Minister Stephen Harper Sez Welcome to Canada's beautiful tar sands

And how was YOUR weekend? Canuckistan’s Glorious Ruler posed for a picture with some cuddly Alberta wildlife, while his obedient servants created a website apologizing to the world for the mortifying homunculus who sits, slavering, atop Parliament.

We messed up.

We know you look to us as one of the last great strongholds of common sense in a swirling sea of crazy on this big ol’ crazy planet of ours.

Decriminalized marijuana, same-sex marriage, our peace keeping force, universal health care, education, our stance on environment, human rights, and religious freedom made us look pretty darn awesome.

Now we’re realizing that those things that made us awesome are being taken away from us, and it’s not just us Canadians who are paying the price.

Turns out some of us thought it would be a grand idea to put this fucking guy in charge.

Well, actually, it wasn’t so much that we put him in charge as it is we failed not to.

We goofed. We took our stick off the ice. We pulled a real boner. For that we apologize.

But, hey. 2015 is just around the corner. Hopefully, we’ve learned our lesson, and we’ll do better next time.

We’d better, assuming he doesn’t pull a coup and off the Governor-General, and I wouldn’t put it past him or his alien leaders.

In related news, at least now we can live tweet the defeat of democracy as it happens:

The government of America’s hat announced it will repeal a 1938 law that prohibited citizens from publicly posting election results before all polls closed across the country. Since social-media sites feature real-time discussions, it has been nearly impossibly to enforce the rule despiteElections Canada’s hardline stance.

Someone who’s suddenly not having a great weekend is Greyhound bus driver Donald Ainsworth, who kicked 13 OccupySD protesters off his bus just for supporting Occupy. He thought he’d show them.

Then we did this:

Continue reading

Social Flow: How to Win with Social Media without Losing Productivity (a new raincoaster media workshop

Social Flow Workshop logo

Social Flow Workshop logo

Social Flow Workshop: How to Win with Social Media Without Losing Productivity

UPDATE: Unfortunately, Mike isn’t well and we’re going to have to postpone our February 4 workshop in Vancouver. We’re going ahead with our February 21st workshop in Victoria, so we hope to see you there. Vancouver workshop will be rescheduled to March.

 

Who: Noted social media trainer Lorraine Murphy and “productivityist” Mike Vardy (editor Lifehack.org)

What: Social Flow: How to Win with Social Media without Losing Productivity

When: 10-4, February 04/2012

Where: ING Web Cafe, 466 Howe Street, Vancouver BC

How: Register here for the Social Flow workshop

It’s a social media struggle!

Wrestling with the idea that you can’t possibly become better at promoting yourself or your business through social media without it harming your productivity?

Well, wrestle no more.

Taking part in Social Flow: How to Win with Social Media without Losing Productivity is your ticket to championship gold in record time!

Social media trainer Lorraine Murphy and “productivityist” Mike Vardy (editor Lifehack.org) will guide you through the ins and outs of managing the social media profiles that keep you both active in your work and telling the public about your work all in one go.

Topics covered include:

  • How to Make Gmail Your Best Friend
  • What Task Manager is Right For You
  • Why Your Email Inbox is Not the Right Task Manager for anyone
  • Improving your Social Flow in Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and the new kid on the block, Google+
  • Why Planning your Social Media output is Integral to Your Social Flow
  • How to Avoid Falling Prey to the Perpetual Automation Machine
  • What Calendars are actually For
  • How to Increase Your Social Flow Using Hashtags, Twitter Lists…and more

This hands-on boot camp will not only get you on top of your social media profiles, but it will get you on top of what you need to do make sure they add attention to your business rather than subtract your attention from your business.

Register to attend an upcoming Social Flow workshop

Mike Vardy

Mike Vardy

Mike Vardy is the writer, speaker, and “productivityist” behind Vardy.me and the productivity parody site Eventualism. Vardy’s candid satire has made him a desirable speaker on an often dry topic, delivering talks on the topic such as “Hacking Lifehacks” at TEDx Juan De Fuca. Currently a Managing Editor at Stepcase Lifehack, Vardy has contributed to many popular productivity websites and publications, including David Allen’s GTD Times and Productive Magazine. He lives with his wife, daughter and son in Victoria, BC, Canada.