Operation Global Media Domination: The Sleep-Deprived Situation
08 Feb 2009 5 Comments
in Blogging, Britney Spears, Celebrity, Christian Bale, Cthulhu, Culture, Downtown Eastside, Fearless City, Google, Humour, Operation Global Media Domination, WordCamp Whistler, Wordpress, fairies, geek, humor, media, raincoaster, social media, technology
Because it is late/early and I have been up for 30 straight hours and I am somewhat punchy (and, you might have noticed, somewhat crabby lately), I am going to do a lightning round of Operation Global Media Domination.
Look at the searches that brought people to my blog! Mother would be so proud:
Search Engine Terms
These are terms people used to find your blog.
Today
Search Views my first cthulhu 1 what does a classy whore look like 1 ovaltine shirts 1 britney spears handwriting 1 goatse 1 fairy 1 Yesterday
Search Views fairy 85 britney sex tape 62 cthulhu 41 britney spears sex tape sex tape 28 audrey hepburn 27 steve jobs 20 christian bale remix 14 siegfried and roy 14 winona ryder sex 12 porn slideshow 12
And, yay, I got in the Vancouver Sun’s Digital Life blog with Fearless City. A couple of times, actually, but I’m too lazy/tired to find the Wordcamp Whistler entry. Oh, here I am; wow, even I am impressed my self-promotional instincts outrank my instinct for sleep right now.
Operation Global Media Domination: Thank You, John McCain
05 Nov 2008 4 Comments
in Allegory, Britney Spears, Celebrity, Culture, Fans, Humour, Operation Global Media Domination, Politics, U.S., Weird, beauty, humor, meme
Some people are grateful to him for serving his country in a time of war. Some people are grateful to him for the selflessness and courage he showed as a POW. Some people are grateful to him for the way he went to bat for military widows when their pension rights were threatened by Washington. Some people are grateful to him for losing to Barack Obama.
And then there is me.
Can you guess what I’m grateful to him for?
Yesterday
and
Search Terms
Yesterday
| Search | Views | |
|---|---|---|
| john mccain | 353 |  |
| young john mccain | 344 | |
| john mccain young | 187 | |
| britney sex tape | 114 | |
| mccain young | 73 | |
| cthulhu | 65 | |
| young mccain | 44 | |
| daniel radcliffe | 43 | |
| cthulhu 08 | 35 | |
| steve jobs | 33 | |
Why yes, it does give one faith in human nature to see Hawt Young John McCain beating out that grizzled old warhorse Britney’s Sex Tape after all this time. Alas, I sense this is not a trend destined for any longevity whatsoever.
Dismissed, soldier.
Operation Global Media Domination: the Banksy Situation
27 Sep 2008 28 Comments
in Art, Banksy, Blogging, Britney Spears, Celebrity, Culture, Fans, Operation Global Media Domination, Wordpress, geek, meme, raincoaster, statistics
For as long as I can remember (which, at my age, admittedly isn’t very long, perhaps twenty minutes at a time and then I need to take my rememberer out and let it cool down for awhile) on this blog the #1 post in terms of hits, year after year, has been Britney Spears Sex Tape, which, once I realized wasn’t Britney in it at all but rather someone else who looked like Honeymoon Britney (which many people would watch happily, I’m sure, over and over, the way they close their eyes and think of The Country or The Postman or The Hot Guy In Marketing Who Wears Those European Suits) I edited the title of to read Britney Spears (?) Sex Tape but it made no difference: they still kept coming.
So to speak.
Which reminds me of the ad I saw yesterday at the Skytrain station; the first ad for an “adult recreation” product I’ve seen in a mainstream location. It was for something called Stallion, and it was unspecific to the point of complete opacity. Basically, it just said “Men, buy this stuff right now.” That’s how I figured out it was dirty.
For I am way clever, yo.
But as I was standing there, running over all the stallion references in my head (alas, I’m not in top form when I’m on Concact-C, for the only thing I could think of was Bill and Ted’s band Wyld Stallyns) I saw some fine print at the bottom of the ad, and if there’s one thing I love, it’s fine print on adult product ads. No, really.
“Product contains Lidocaine.”
Topical anaesthetic. It’s the stuff I spray on my legs before waxing, to deaden the pain.
Whoa!
But (and not to make an abrupt transition, but whatever) now we at the ol’ raincoaster blog have encountered a phenomenon more powerful than a sloppy ersatz-Britney blowjob.
Behold the power of Banksy in Birmingham:
Banksy stats, baby!
And yes, that baseline is 2,000, not zero.
Operation Global Media Domination: the Search Term Situation
15 Jul 2008 5 Comments
in Blogging, Britney Spears, Celebrity, Cthulhu, Culture, Daniel Radcliffe, Etiquette, Google, Humour, Sex, Wordpress, beaver, fetish, fish, humor, meme, raincoaster, sad, tasteless
Longtime raincoaster readers will fondly recall the old search term roundups of yore. That was before nekkid Britney Spears and Hairy Potter blew all other search terms off the list. Alas, these days unless I check my stats page within an hour of the new stats day’s dawn, I’m stuck with a list that looks depressingly like:
- Britney Spears sex tape
- BRITNEY SPEARS SEX TAPE
- Britney sextape
- Hairy Potter
- Harry Potter nekkid
- naked Daniel Radcliffe
- penis Radcliffe Spears fur
- beaver shots
- fairy [sometimes Cthulhu instead, especially on the high holiday of Squidmas]
- etc, etc.
Very boring, I think you’ll agree. Today I became uncontrollably excited when I realized I’d actually gotten some links to other things:
| ingrid betancourt | 15 |
| lolgoth | 12 |
| britney spears sex tape | 10 |
| daniel radcliffe | 9 |
| britney sex tape | 9 |
| fairy | 8 |
| beaver shots | 7 |
| the outsiders | 4 |
| steve jobs | 4 |
| fish pedicure |
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, fish pedicure! We have, in fact, two fish pedicure posts, Smells Like a Fish and Getting Oral is Good for You, both of which are self-evidently true.
You may now resume your Britney Spears Sex Tape surfing. Fnord.
Britney Spears’s favorite sex tape: I Love You Cheetos!
17 Jun 2008 32 Comments
in Allegory, Britney Spears, Culture, Entertainment, Humour, Porn, Sex, Weird, food, humor, sad
Nine minutes of the most hardcore, cheez-food-product-dusted, size queeniest, sock wearingest action ever to grace the intertubes. This may not be safe for work, and it certainly isn’t safe for lunch. Make sure your digestive tract is clean before clicking Play.
From Jeff Ostergren, via Fleshbot
Those zombies on his site? Don’t look like my zombies. And the brains likewise; no wonder his zombies are so underfed and peaked looking!
Britney Spears: Gimme More Jelly Babies!
13 Jun 2008 2 Comments
in Britney Spears, Celebrity, Humour, Lush Life, Unicorn Chaser, Weird, YouTube, animation, celebutard, dance, food, humor, music
And now for something completely trivial: a unicorn chaser if you will.
Looks like Britney‘s come to terms with the fact that her post-childbirth figure will never return to the sveltitide of her Oops I Did It Again days. This new version of her comeback hit Gimme More is even more scandalous than the stripper-pole-themed original, as all the dancers in this version are completely naked, save for a tantalizing dusting of powdered sugar.
Wonder how she sneaked THAT past the censors at YouTube!
via UKPopSugar
(I always feel bad when I leave them out of the Ayyyy.com link roundup, because they always link back to us, but there’s only so much I can do with Jordan and Beth Ditto, ya know?)
Anonymous vs ME!!!!!
01 Mar 2008 22 Comments
in Blogging, Britney Spears, Celebrity, Hoaxes, Paris Hilton, Weird, YouTube, celebutard, flamewar, geek, humor, meme
OMG WTF!?!?!?!?! Anonymous is after ME now! Shitgoddamholyfuckyikes! I knew that this gossip blogging gig would be trouble!
Maybe Scientology will protect me?
Stolen from Valleywag
Hello. Internet Gossip Bloggers. We are The Z-List Celebrities.
Over the years we have been watching you. Watching us. Your blog posts, showing our drunkenness, our nip slips, our public breakdowns, have caught our eye. With the rise of your blog traffic and general influence in the entertainment industry, we, The Z-List Celebrities, have decided that you must be destroyed.
For the good of your readers, for the good of society and, most of all, for the good of our failing shit-tastic careers we will systematically expel your blogs from the internet and dismantle your growing sphere of influence.
No longer will we be your birthday sluts.
No longer will TMZ’s cameras ambush us outside restaurants.
No longer will you draw cocks on our faces.
We recognize you as serious opponents and do not expect our mission to succeed in a short time frame. Regardless we will no longer tolerate you mocking members of our organization. Like Tara Reid for example, leave her alone. She’s really talented. Sure her tits are weird but she just needs the right part to showcase her abilities, You’ll see.
You have nowhere to hide. Because we are everywhere. You will have no recourse of attack because for every reality star that falls, ten more will take their place.
We are The Z-List Celebrities.
We are Legion.
We do not forgive.
WE DO NOT FORGET.
Expect us.
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