Operation Global Media Domination: the Search Term Situation
15 Jul 2008 5 Comments
in Blogging, Britney Spears, Celebrity, Cthulhu, Culture, Daniel Radcliffe, Etiquette, Google, Humour, Sex, Wordpress, beaver, fetish, fish, humor, meme, raincoaster, sad, tasteless
Longtime raincoaster readers will fondly recall the old search term roundups of yore. That was before nekkid Britney Spears and Hairy Potter blew all other search terms off the list. Alas, these days unless I check my stats page within an hour of the new stats day’s dawn, I’m stuck with a list that looks depressingly like:
- Britney Spears sex tape
- BRITNEY SPEARS SEX TAPE
- Britney sextape
- Hairy Potter
- Harry Potter nekkid
- naked Daniel Radcliffe
- penis Radcliffe Spears fur
- beaver shots
- fairy [sometimes Cthulhu instead, especially on the high holiday of Squidmas]
- etc, etc.
Very boring, I think you’ll agree. Today I became uncontrollably excited when I realized I’d actually gotten some links to other things:
| ingrid betancourt | 15 |
| lolgoth | 12 |
| britney spears sex tape | 10 |
| daniel radcliffe | 9 |
| britney sex tape | 9 |
| fairy | 8 |
| beaver shots | 7 |
| the outsiders | 4 |
| steve jobs | 4 |
| fish pedicure |
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, fish pedicure! We have, in fact, two fish pedicure posts, Smells Like a Fish and Getting Oral is Good for You, both of which are self-evidently true.
You may now resume your Britney Spears Sex Tape surfing. Fnord.
Daniel Radcliffe’s Peter Joins Penis Protection Program
24 Apr 2008 19 Comments
in Celebrity, Censorship, Culture, Daniel Radcliffe, Entertainment, Etiquette, Fans, Humour, Movies, New York, Weird, humor, sad, tasteless
For several months now, all the world, or at least, all the world that can afford New York theatre tickets, has been eagerly looking forward to the Broadway debut of Harry Potter’s wand. We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have not failed to cover the blow-by-blow as Daniel Radcliffe and his Nethers of Strange Hirsutity have triumphed in London in Peter Schaffer‘s intense psychodrama Equus, but as the day approaches when all (and we do mean ALL) will be revealed to the notoriously insatiable, cellphone-camera-equipped American audiences, Radcliffe‘s handlers are getting nervous. They fear his peen may fall into the wrong, presumably sweaty, hands.
Says the star, on the possibility of his privates being made public via a quickie Flickr: “It will be amazing but I will be terrified!” And no doubt so will some of the more shrinking violets in the audience, from what we hear!
Just how amazing it will be, fans who cannot affort the high price to share his physical presence may never know. His handlers have taken every precaution to prevent leaks, going so far as to equip the theatre with infra-red defenses, like in that capoeria laser dance scene in Ocean’s Twelve, you know the one, to sniff out and, presumably, stun or even vaporize overzealous cellphotogs. Who knows?
Cool.
His personal security has been increased as well, and let me tell you, these people do not mess around.

Image sources: Uli Weber, Hollywood Standups, hat-tip With-Malice
article hat-tip to dissfunktional
Daniel Radcliffe is hung like a horse (pic)
06 Dec 2007 38 Comments
in Allegory, Celebrity, Daniel Radcliffe, Entertainment, Fans, Harry Potter, Hoaxes, Humour, Jokes, Movies, Porn, Sex, Singles, animals, beauty, humor, tasteless
Harry Potter naked, coming soon to a theatre near you!
07 Nov 2007 27 Comments
in Canada, Celebrity, Daniel Radcliffe, Entertainment, Fans, Fantasy, Harry Potter, Humour, New York, Public Service Announcement, Singles, beauty, humor, tasteless
Provided you live in Manhattan, that is.
Yes, child star (ah, they grow up so fast, don’t they?) Daniel Radcliffe will be bringing his jailbaitalicious skyclad junk to Broadway. To be fair, his performance in Equus was by all accounts quite good, and North America has not yet had the opportunity to get our knickers (if any) in a twist about the fact that the role involves smoking, so it’s not as if this is simple pandering to a continent greedy for wizard-perving. It’s not as if we’ve been deprived, after all.
But raincoaster sources suspect something else. A different, more sordid explanation. We believe that the real reason behind the revival of a somewhat elderly yet not quite classic play is the simple fact that Daniel Radcliffe is an exhibitionistic, pervy sex maniac whose needs could not be met by his own nation of 60,776,238!
And this does indeed take us to our happy place. How much to stage this at The Centre?
Daniel Radcliffe and the Tongue of Many Talents
13 Sep 2007 8 Comments
in Celebrity, Daniel Radcliffe, Dating, Entertainment, Fans, Harry Potter, Humour, Movies, Sex, Singles, Weird, fetish, gross, humor, media, tasteless
Honestly, it’s no wonder the boy’s so popular!
From Agent Bedhead:
Daniel proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that his talents go well beyond acting.
The Harry Potter star can also do what he calls “disgusting things with my tongue.”
Just incidentally, I think it’s safe to say that between his fame, his money, and that tongue, Daniel will never, ever lack for a date.
it’s never too late: Harry Potter spoiler generator
29 Aug 2007 14 Comments
in Alan Rickman, Allegory, Books, Daniel Radcliffe, Fans, Harry Potter, Hoaxes, Humour, Literary, Lush Life, Movies, capitalism, celebutard, computers, geek, humor, technology
No, really. It’s never too late. I still haven’t read the last one!
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My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is: Draco Malfoy becomes a billionaire in the software market by using Mooncalf dung Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom |
Actually, anyone such as myself who PAID for WindowsME could tell you that this one came true.
Elvis Voldemort
18 Aug 2007 Leave a Comment
in Allegory, Books, Daniel Radcliffe, Humour, Literary, Movies, humor, music, sad, tasteless
This is a confluence of pop memes almost beyond imagining, but FWIW, Lord Voldemort‘s middle name, in French, is Elvis.
To make an anagram of Je suis Voldemort the French translators had to change Tom Marvolo Riddle into Tom Elvis Jedusor.


















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