Armed Chihuahua gang roams Yorkshire!

Soon. In fact, NOW says Evil Chihuahua

Soon. In fact, NOW says Evil Chihuahua

Arm yourselves! Gather your families! Pad your ankles and reinforce your doors, at least up for the first 18 inches. THEY are coming.

According to the Guardian, a gang of Chihuahuas took advantage of the absence of their guards to smash a window with an iron bar, fleeing into the darkness and desolation of the surrounding moors. THEY lurk, even now.

A nationwide hunt is under way for five chihuahuas, including a Crufts champion…

Valenchino Chihuahua Xena, who was named Best Puppy in Breed at Crufts 2014, [escaped] with four other dogs from a house in east Yorkshire on Thursday.

[Keeper] Mal Hilton said he and his partner Lucy Hilton have been devastated by the [escape] of Xena, her grandmother Angel and her mother Io, as well as two others called Pandora and Evie…

Normal chihuahuas sell for around £500.

Wait. What? There is, obviously, no such thing as a “normal Chihuahua.” That is what you call a contradiction in terms.

Evil Chihuahua

About these ads

No Doggie, No Cry

sad pug is sad

Not that I’m entirely sure pugs are dogs. They think they’re fucking lions, just ask them.

Or don’t. Because this is what happens when you do that.

If we could only weaponize them, we could finally have a way to defeat the Chihuahua Army on their own turf!

Scientific Labs

Another in our ongoing series of servicey Public Service (and Slightly Redundant) Announcements: How to tell what kind of a lab it is by looking just at the outside.

Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab

Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab. Like the Seven Dwarfs, but crackier.

You’re welcome.

Related: the most destructive breeds of dog, in order of destructiviciousness in insurance claim money. I would like to draw your particular attention to #2, of which we have spoken before.

1. Great Dane £700

2. Chihuahua £638

3. Mastiff £586

4. Basset Hound £564

5. Whippet £519

6. English Setter £485

7. Bulldog £446

8. Dachshund £445

9. Boxer £404

10. Beagle £400

11. Greyhound £393

12. Dalmatian £388

13. Doberman Pinscher £380

14. Rottweiler £200

15. Border Collie £179

16. Labrador £172

17. Rhodesian Ridgeback £170

18. Newfoundland £163

19. Jack Russell £161

20. Golden Retriever £149

Once again, the Meth Lab:

Meth Lab Puppy dares you to make a fuss!

Meth Lab Puppy dares you to make a fuss!

Emo vs Emo: animal wars

This post will not include cats. Everyone knows cats aren’t emo.

Icelandic Ponies are emo. You would be too, if an outbreak of horse herpes had sent a flock of Utah Beauty Queens off their regular mounts and onto you. You would also, presumably, be rather tired, if very relaxed.

Emo pony doesn't care about your sugar. Life IS lumps, sweetie.

Emo pony doesn't care about your sugar. Life IS lumps, sweetie.

Look, they’ve even got the hair:

Sable Island Pony is emo, too. With better hair

Sable Island Pony is emo, too. With better hair

And Poodles, also are emo. Chihuahuas are not emo: they’re just evil.

Emo Poodle is Self Actualized

Emo Poodle is Self Actualized

It is potentially possible that things that start with a P are all emo. Of course, starting off with a Pee always makes me less moody and irritable…

Operation Global Media Domination: the Craigslist Situation

CthiCthuaCthua

CthiCthuaCthua KNEEL DOWN AND WORSHIP, BITCHES!!

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the person who posted a link to my blog on Craigslist (and probably got the idea from Crasstalk, incidentally) thus resulting in a whole lotta Los Angeleses (Los Angelesians? Los Angelesii?) gaining exposure to raincoasterism, whether or not they’re ready for it.

And we can only pray for their very sanity.

SUPER SUPER CUTE CHIHUAHUA PUPPY FREE TO CHIHUAHUA LOVER (SF VALLEY)

Date: 2011-05-25, 10:46PM PDT
Reply to: MWEYAW@GMAIL.COM [Errors when replying to ads?]

http://raincoaster.com/2008/09/15/why-i-hate-chihuahuas/

I DON’T WHY PEOPLE KEEP BREEDING THIS SUPER BEAUTIFUL CHIHUAHUA DOG.

PEOPLE WANT THIS DOG SO MUCH AND ANIMAL SHELTERS ARE FULL OF THIS BEAUTIFUL CHIHUAHUA.

ALSO, ON CRAIGSLIST, THERE ARE MILLIONS OF CHIHUAHUA ADS BECAUSE PEOPLE WANT THIS DOG SO MUCH.

LMFAO

Whoever it was, I like his/her style.

UPDATE: Some Chihuahua-addled Woody Allen character has flagged the Craigslist post as abuse, and it’s been taken down. As you may be aware, we are ALL ABOUT THE CHIHUAHUA ABUSE around the ol’ raincoaster blog, and we suggest that people who get offended on behalf of fanged, trembly naked mole rat ALIENS that CAN’T even READ, PEOPLE need to eat more roughage.