Category Archives: children

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Hump Day Unicorn Chaser: Ellen Page and Scary Unicorn Edition

And then he bit right through that sweet little baby's skull and sucked out the brains.

And then he bit right through that sweet little baby's skull and sucked out the brains.

from retrogasm:

I’ve never seen photos of a happy child on Santa’s lap or the Easter Bunny’s, but a Unicorn makes everyone happy…

Yeah, until he takes his mask off and you realize he’s wearing another under it, and that one is made of human skin…

Need some brainwash? Here is cute little Canuck Ellen Page juggling citrus fruits. In Canada, a grapefruit can marry an orange and then the taxpayers have to pay for their seeds to be planted. It’s true. It’s a FACT.

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Priorities, Parents!

Priorities, Parents

Priorities, Parents

Not to point out the obvious, but has anyone else noticed that the oxytocin rush associated with New Parenthood often results in complete failure of perspective? If I didn’t know better, I’d swear this was ripped from a Kate Hudson/Steve Martin movie. And maybe, some day, it will be.

While we’re dwelling on that (un)happy thought, here are our gossip links for your perusal. I would have put them up yesterday, but apparently Vancouver got kicked off the internet before I got that done.

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And you thought everyone hated MONDAY!

Emo News Network Presents!

Emo News Network Presents!

Yes, it’s that very special time on the blog: the time when we dump all our celebrity links for the day because we are too lazy/stressed/drunk/busy to do a real, proper 250 words for you. So hold your nose and swallow like a good little media consumer! YAY CELEBUTARDS!

Speaking of which, here’s an adorkable little video of children reacting to Rebecca Black‘s immortal musical meisterwerk, Friday.

via Gawker

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Baby on Board!

Baby on Board, what does it LOOK like?

Baby on Board, what does it LOOK like?

I cannot be the only person on the face of the Earth who is literal-minded enough to be annoyed when seeing one of those smug “Baby on Board” stickers and NOT seeing any baby in the car. Dude, someone stole your baby! CALL THE POLICE! MISSING BABY! HOW IS BABBY MADE?

Oh wait, that’s “dogging” isn’t it?

Do pregnant women walk around with Baby On Board shirts? Apparently they do, for the people who are blind and cannot see that they are pregnant, although unless the shirts are in Braille those poor people won’t be able to see the shirt either, so I guess it’s just for the convenience of really, really stupid people who are also inclined to judge people based on their size.

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Jesus Has Two Daddies!

Jesus does indeed have two daddies, and he turned out okay

Jesus does indeed have two daddies, and he turned out okay

It’s TRUE! Jesus has two daddies: and a camel-load of cute, in this adorbz video by adorbz Kiwi toddlers, who re-enact the Christmas story with some snazzy costumes, Oscar-quality performances, and the irresistible power of Teh Kyoot.