Operation Global Media Domination: the mash note situation

To raincoaster love Julian

To raincoaster love Julian. Awww, isn’t that sweet?

NOTE TO NEW READERS: it’s not always this insidery. Just usually this insidery.

Well, I had been working on an epic Storify of the even-more-overcaffeinated-than-usual drama over Thursday and Friday, including multiple Ron sightings (hi Ron!) and relentless attempts to get my Twitter, Tumblr, WordPress, Facebook, and LinkedIn accounts suspended (all unsuccessful), but Storify’s Twitter search succumbed to the heated atmosphere and fainted, rendering me unable to do more than say “and then he said this, and I was all like bitch please and then … ” etc, etc, etc although it must be said that Storify themselves were very nice about it, particularly as I’ve bitched at them before for offering a WordPress.com embed code that does not embed anything readable in your WordPress.com blog; still, they mean well and if they can get that Twitter search to stop collapsing and asking me to sign in with Twitter instead of my Storify account, it’ll all be hunky-dory.

And yes, I believe that was all one sentence, why do you ask?

Still, drama has its uses. Always good for the Follower count if you have the right enemies, as I seem to. Here’s a tiny slice of just one of the four dramas that went on over that period.

Apparently if you tweet to his family and ask the entirely logical question “WTF?” he stops. Useful.

So both the computer and the iPhone have started overheating, to the point where it hurts to handle them. Gonzo gave me a great suggestion: A Belkin laptop desk/fan/thingy which costs about $20, which is easily ordered from Amazon possibly even using my own affiliate ID. Beats balancing it on a block of frozen soup stock as I am doing now.

The iPhone is a trickier brick altogether; it’s no longer emitting or detecting sounds on its own. With the headphones plugged in, I can listen to things. When I plug it in to charge I cannot have it connected to the cord first, prior to plugging the plug into the wall, or it will not charge. If I plug the plug into the wall and then connect the iPhone, it will charge.

Wouldn’t it be lovely to have something which simply worked? I wonder what that’s like. Wait. No. I take that back. My notebook works just fine, it’s just a bitch to upload is all. You have to spindle the pages really teeny.

But as you can see, Julian is keeping his spirits up and maybe someday he’ll be in a nice enough mood to just mail me one of those compromised phones or laptops he’s forced to discard (do you need the PO Box? Lemme know).

UPDATE:

OH, so much drama that I forgot to add my ACTUAL celeb encounter; Tommy James, yes THE Tommy James of “and the Shondells” Favorited a tweet of mine when I complained the cats were not sophisticated enough to enjoy Crimson and Clover. As indeed they are not, being both well below teenage.

And Ruth Buzzi Followed me.

And no, Julian Assange did not really write me that postcard. But I’m quite pleased so many people think he did. Going to go around with a swelled head all day.

So, how’s YOUR week going

Head Crash

Head Crash

Let’s review: in the last week I’ve become officially homeless, had my hours at work cut in half, and now, in the crowning glory, an attempt to install a simple chat client on my computer wiped the entire contents including the system management software.

This is what you call a head crash: when the head goes CRASH on the desk.

What did I do? What would anyone do? well, anyone who was me? I screamed all over social media until someone stepped up to solve my problem, that’s what I did. What do I ever do, right? So the far-more-competent-than-me Tim Adkins from Free Geek met me on his day off and did a complete reinstall, with encryption and a partitioned hard drive so that even if half of it wipes the other half is still useable.

After we met up at Turk‘s for the reinstall, the sun was shining and the day was gorgeous for once in Vangroover, so I took the opportunity to stroll up the Drive for an hour or so, picking up the perfect party top for Gin & Sin on Wednesday at 20% off, then hopped a bus to the Forgotten Value Village up at 49th and Victoria. Lest you think the nature of the universe had somehow changed in my favour, my bank card was declined there, and the Starbucks told me that my Paypal top-up of $25 hasn’t shown up on my Starbucks card.

So it’s not entirely #FML but it’s not all sunshine and roses.

Oh. Wait. Thatcher is dead.

The Epistle to the Stratforians

dear Stratfor clients, let us know how you really feel?

dear Stratfor clients, let us know how you really feel?

Yes, if you looked closely on Twitter there WAS something more interesting than the Oscars going on tonight. Well, photosynthesis is more interesting, but you know what I mean.

Anonymous and Wikileaks combined forces to leak over five million emails from “private CIA” company Stratfor. Anonymous has gone up against Stratfor before, but by routing the dox through Wikileaks they leverage a chain of media relationships and thus publicity that Anon alone could never reach. Said it before and I will, in fact, say it again: Wikileaks is a PR agency for documents. Wikileaks had a vested interest in this leak because over 4000 of the emails mention Julian Assange or Wikileaks.

Just when everyone thought they had become; a) irrelevant and b) preoccupied, Wikileaks comes out with a fatal stroke that, because of its more than 25 international media partnerships, is as instantly ubiquitous as it is effective.

On Monday February 27th, 2012, WikiLeaks began publishing The Global Intelligence Files, over five million e-mails from the Texas headquartered “global intelligence” company Stratfor. The e-mails date between July 2004 and late December 2011. They reveal the inner workings of a company that fronts as an intelligence publisher, but provides confidential intelligence services to large corporations, such as Bhopal’s Dow Chemical Co., Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, Raytheon and government agencies, including the US Department of Homeland Security, the US Marines and the US Defence Intelligence Agency. The emails show Stratfor’s web of informers, pay-off structure, payment laundering techniques and psychological methods.

Did I say “fatal?” I sure as hell did. Take a gander at this document, a mere two hours old.

From: george.friedman@stratfor.com

To: fred.burton@stratfor.com

Subject: Draft

Date: 2012-02-26 19:02:07

It is with great personal disappointment I have to inform you that I will resign from my position as CEO for Stratfor to immediate effect.

Please rest assured that this decision was not an easy. But in the light of the recent events, especially the release of our company emails by WikiLeaks, I have decided that stepping down is in the best interest of Stratfor and its customer base.

I want to emphasize that this will have no effect on Stratfor’s business or its members and we will continue to provide state-of-the-art intelligence services.

Regarding the latest breach, Stratfor is fully in control of the situation However, while I cannot take any personal responsibility for this incident, I still have to admit that mistakes have been made on our side. To be clear: We certainly do not condone any criminal activities by groups like Anonymous or other hackers. This is theft and we will continue to cooperate with law enforcement to bring those responsible to justice. But we must acknowledge that this incident would not have been possible if Stratfor had implemented stronger data protection mechanisms – which will be the case from now on. Indeed we will immediately move to implement the latest, and most comprehensive, data security measures.

While I played no role in our technical operations, as the company’s CEO I do accept full responsibility thus will resign from my position effective immediately.

Again, my sincerest apologies for this whole unfortunate incident.

Sincerely,
George Friedman

Yes, George Friedman, former CEO of Stratfor, is officially Fried, if not Fired. That’s a neat trick, saying you can’t take any personal responsibility but that you do accept full responsibility; not to mention claiming to be fully in control of a situation where five million of your security company’s “secure” emails, many of them mortifying, have been released.

Mortifying? How about institutionalized bigotry and opportunistic, malevolent greed for starters, not to mention this high-level security company being shown up, repeatedly, on the security front. There are five million more emails to sift through, and a press conference coming up in a few hours. Who knows what lulz may come?