Two more in the series of Why I Don’t Swim in the Ocean. I would, if I could convince a pair of divers to swim below me at all times. Watch these videos and you’ll see why.
The Mantis Shrimp, ancestor to all clowns. Have a good time trying to sleep tonight.
Enjoy your next swim!
h/t Griffin Boyce
Found on Robson Street. That’s either a Cthulhu whose wings have been plucked (Nodens, that fucker, without a doubt) or a portrait in site-appropriate rainforest marble of some random douchebro on Granville street at about 3am, puking his virgin guts out.
Longtime readers know how much I adore this, the Hallmarkiest Holiday. Over the years, I’ve commemorated it with bouquets of dead flowers, Partridge Family anthems, and a lot of old-skool punk macros. Today, I have a roundup of the valentines which I received (TWO! Infinitely better than last year! Literally! Look how excited I am!) and those which I merely saw and wish to share.
From KAL301 on Twitter, I got an ASCII rose.
And from longtime blogging pal Disembedded, a street art heart.
Joe NYC Valentine
And now, from around the internet:
Happy V Day from JA
Valentine’s Day at Batman’s
My new imaginary sweetie Vin Diesel being adorbs.
A morbidly romantic safety reminder from Australia’s Dumb Ways to Die juggernaut.
And lastly but far from leastly, comes a Cthulhu Kissing Booth. Yes. An ACTUAL. CTHULHU. KISSING. BOOTH. But don’t get fresh and ask him who will be eaten first; not unless you’ve at least bought him dinner and flowers.
Cthulhu Kissing Booth: Pucker up and hang on to your sanity…if you CAN
If that doesn’t get me on Reddit, fuck the aspie lot of ‘em!
Happy fucking Wednesday. Here is a little motorcycle made out of lobster shells.
Lobstercycle The Other One
We are fucked, my friends
What did I say? WHAT DID I SAY?
I said, “We’re all fucked.”
We just got 25% more fucked.
Orcas can fly. Cougars can swim. Meerkats can operate AK-47’s. Raccoons have taken up swordfighting. And now, sharks can walk.
Good luck trying to get back to sleep tonight. THAT is in the ocean off the Moluccas. I swam in that water. That’s what’s down there. And you wonder why I don’t go in the ocean anymore.
Keep Calm and Hail Cthulhu