Aquatic Dragon off the coast of Victoria

What a day for nature lovers! Classic Rock radio 101 has reported the sighting of a rare Aquatic Dragon off the coast of Victoria, BC! Praise Cthulhu, we thought they had been hunted to extinction, along with their distant cousins, the Pacific Tree Octopus. This amazing creature, nearly 100m from its savagely curved beak to its tippiest tentacle, once blotted out the skies in its annual migrations from the Arctic plateaus to a still-undiscovered location somewhere in the South Pacific. Such were its numbers, and its fierce fighting ability, that it seemed unthinkable the species could ever be threatened.

That was, of course, before the advent of aircraft. Their soft, boneless bodies proved no match for slashing propellers and insatiable jet intakes, and for a generation or more the skies were greasy with carnage. You think you know how calamari was invented? Let me tell you, it was the act of a hardscrabble wartime population desperate for protein of any kind. When the planes flew overhead, housewives would run into the streets with buckets to catch the crudely hacked pieces of Aquatic Dragon that fell in a slimy torrent from the skies.

And soon, all too soon, it was all over.

WWII had done irreparable damage to the breeding population, and it is believed that nuclear tests in the South Pacific may have destroyed their traditional wintering grounds, leaving them with an unsustainable, nomadic, and doomed few survivors. This latest discovery is heartening in the extreme, for this juvenile specimen attests to the atavistic survival of at least two healthy Aquatic Dragons somewhere off the coast of Vancouver Island. My old alma mater, Miskatonic University, is gathering specialists in marine biology and herpetology to undertake an expedition in search of the creatures.

Hey, what could go wrong?

Cthulhu coffee is tentacularly tasty!

After the night I’ve had, make mine a decaf.

Hey #auspol listen up: @assangeC was misquoted. I know: I misquoted her. Updating post now dailydot.com/society/christ… #wikileaks #opassange—
  (@raincoaster) February 21, 2012

@raincoaster Big of u to admit that! Maybe that could be the theme of your next article! read wlcentral.org/node/1418—
ChristineAssange (@AssangeC) February 21, 2012

@AssangeC @raincoaster somehow this little incident encapsulates what's happening to Julian: people hearing about "sex" instead of "facts".—
WikiLeaksLover (@NOH8ER) February 21, 2012

@NOH8ER @AssangeC whoa, that is SO true. I guess I was guilty too. I think you got right to the heart of it there.—
  (@raincoaster) February 21, 2012

@raincoaster me too. Everyone makes mistakes, wish they handled them as you did this one.—
pj (@wheeliesmom) February 21, 2012

On the upside:

Plastic midget slacker for life homie RT @raincoaster: Lego Kurt Cobain is now Following me. That's GenX geek cred, right there.—
lego kurt cobain (@Lego_KurtCobain) February 21, 2012

So yeah, validated.

But I’m telling you, for the next little while I don’t need any god damn more surprises. CHEERS!

have a cup of Cthulhu!

Teenythulhu Rises!

via Archie

It’s been awhile since we had any spectacular tentacular action here, and I aim to get correcting that ASAP. As soon as I can free myself from the tentacles of Operation Global Media Domination, that is: I’ve taken on the Morning GIF on the DailyDot, plus my other work, including a kickass interview of Christine Assange, Julian’s mother, which should be coming out today sometime; I’m teaching at EatDrinkTweet, a three-day conference in the Okanagan for social media, wine, and food (always an epic good time and great learning too); I have a backlog approximately three years deep of posts for the food blog; and I’m working with ACTUALLY FAMOUS productivity expert Mike Vardy on developing an entire line of learning products for people who aren’t handy to one of our Social Flow workshops. Oh AND thanks to re-reading my friend Alanna‘s book for the third time, I’m now doing some WordPress and social media work for her while she looks for other opportunities for me.

Hence the Blogthings, picture posts, etc. We shall return to our regularly scheduled perving, swearing, politicking, and absurdism anon.

Oscar Wilde is Anonymous

The Occupy Vancouver Media Domination Situation? Frankly, it sucks.

Occupy Vancouver sucks for hits, Google features nothing but page after page of mainstream media when you search for the term, and nobody in this town even seems to know I’m back from Yellowknife, let alone at Occupy Vancouver every other damn day/night. But that won’t stop me.

And it won’t stop me from boasting, either. Because I may not have the hits, but I have very glossy retweeters and atters, so there. I’ve lost the direct links to Neil Gaiman and William Gibson (once my favorite Starbucks customer), but that’s just because they talk almost as much as I do!

so true.. .RT @raincoaster: RT @pqpolitics: "News is what people want to keep hidden; everything else is publi… (cont) deck.ly/~htGQG—
John Cusack (@johncusack) November 17, 2011

not to mention a hit-boosting RT of my article from OccupyVancouver and Bianca Jagger. Yes, THAT Bianca Jagger; how many do you think there are? She’s pretty awesome on Twitter, so I doubt the world could hold more than one.

RT @OccupyVancouver: Bank Transfer day and info about Canada's Bank Bailout! PLZ RT #occupyvancouver #OWS #Nov5 ow.ly/7k3an—
Bianca Jagger (@BiancaJagger) November 05, 2011

I always say thank you, because I have fucking GREAT manners, bitchez.

@BiancaJagger @InnaMood @jdomeeks Thanks for the rts about my post. I hope you enjoy it.—
  (@raincoaster) November 05, 2011

and she has excellent manners as well:

@raincoaster I do, thank you for the information, take care and keep up the good work—
Bianca Jagger (@BiancaJagger) November 05, 2011

And so, even though I spent 15 minutes of my Twitter for the Occupy Movement workshop telling people not to cultivate celebrities as a media strategy, it does make for a quick and popular (and validating) blog post. So, do as I tweet, not as I blog? Or something? It’s been a long day.

Speaking of Validation:

@raincoaster have we told you we adore you lately? Well we do. #occupylove #occupyvancouver—
Occupy Vancouver (@OccupyVancouver) November 18, 2011

I don't know about you, but can't see @raincoaster as an intern! :D—
  (@janniaragon) November 18, 2011

. @raincoaster I mean that in the: she's hot shit. She won't be interning, yo.—
  (@janniaragon) November 18, 2011

That’ll teach the Province to suggest I intern for them!

I am a Vancouver Mayoral Candidate. I have a stuffed lobster. Hail our Crustacean overlords!

As I’ve said before, Oh Vancouver, never change.

After Suzanne Anton’s failed Nixonian move, it looks like she’s out of the running. Even the Success KoolAid marketing networker drones would be embarrassed to be publicly seen advocating for someone who leaves a motion till it’s too late to vote on, attempts to have it passed anyway, and then goes dark, presumably because even she knows we’ve all had enough of her.

Mayor Gregor, or as we call him around here April’s imaginary boyfriend, gave an apparently quite respectable speech tonight at the Vision Vancouver gala. No video yet, because Vancouver is, well, Vancouver.

Don't usually 'get into' politics, but tonight @MayorGregor reminded my heart how important it is to pay attention & be involved #vote!—
kate barazzuol (@katebarazzuol) November 03, 2011

Speaking of Vancouver being Vancouver, as you can clearly see from the image featured in this post, there is only one mayoral candidate who is clearly speaking to the needs of the Cthulian demographic, and that is Lobster Man Darrell “The Sax Maniac” Zimmerman.

How long must we remain a marginalized minority? How long must we take the scraps off the tables of the rich? Wait. We ARE the scraps!

“I’m going to be the only homeless candidate in this election,” Zimmerman told me.

He likes waving around a toy lobster to highlight Vision Vancouver councillor Heather Deal’s decision to tweet a photo of leftovers from a lobster feast at a Federation of Canadian Municipalities meeting in Halifax.

I, personally, am less offended by the lavish dinner than by the fact that they paid $2300 and drank out of plastic cups. BRANDED plastic cups.

That’s it. I’ve made up my mind how to vote.

Cthulhu for president DESPAIR ALL YE WHO ENTER VOTING BOOTHS