This worm f/cks itself in the head and we should all probably just kill ourselves

raincoaster:

Here’s your pull quote:
“You see, scientists have recently discovered Macrostotum hystrix, a worm so disgusting you’re liable to start thinking that even jazz fusion wasn’t so bad by comparison.”

Originally posted on Morpheme Tales:

oroborosThe worm has turned

Is there anything worse than humanity? Between the Charleston shootings, the rash of killings of unarmed men by law enforcement, and ISIS, our species has fewer and fewer unashamed apologists.

Surely humanity is the worst.

Until and unless of course you look at any other species. Then, holy crap, all bets are off. We start to look good and suddenly everyone remembers fish have yet to produce a Michelangelo.

You see, scientists have recently discovered Macrostotum hystrix, a worm so disgusting you’re liable to start thinking that even jazz fusion wasn’t so bad by comparison.

As Discovery News’s Jennifer Viegas put it, “One of the most unusual methods of reproduction has just been observed in a flatworm that uses its needle-like penis to stab itself in the head, which leads to egg fertilization.” And to existential horror, she neglects to add.

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I’m On My Deathbed So I’m Coming Clean: Here’s The Gruesome Truth About What Happened To My First Wife

raincoaster:

Swear to god, this short story in a Cthulian vein almost redeems ThoughtCatalog. Almost. It’s THAT good.

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

Tiffany BaileyTiffany Bailey

Some people spend their whole lives bored. They might not even know it, but they are. They get up in the morning, go to work, head home, eat dinner, go to bed – this same tired routine playing out endlessly, endlessly, day after day until they find themselves in the ground. Some people will never realize they wasted their life until it’s already over.

Not me. I lived my life to the fullest. I did everything I ever wanted to – ate the finest foods, traveled to exotic lands, slept with beautiful women – because I understood what most people don’t. I knew that everyone is handed this one chance to experience the world as it spins in the darkness of space, but more importantly I knew that you only get so many spins.

I have my first wife to thank for this. It will surprise some…

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451 Indian companies have two weeks to find women directors—or face the music

raincoaster:

Hmmmmmm, I could use a richly-paid directorship with all travel expenses paid. Make me offers, India!

Originally posted on Quartz:

It has been little over a year since the Securities And Exchange Board of India (SEBI), the country’s market regulator, made it mandatory for listed companies (pdf) to have at least one woman director on their boards.

Indian companies have till April 1, 2015—or two more weeks—to comply with the new rules. The earlier deadline was Oct. 1, 2014. Despite the six-month extension given by the SEBI, most companies have failed to appoint a woman director.

Of the 1,479 companies listed on India’s National Stock Exchange (NSE), 451—or one-third—still haven’t complied, data from PRIME database, a capital markets information provider, shows. The data is accurate as of March 15.

This means that women directors need to be appointed at the rate of 30 per day for the next 15 days for these NSE-listed firms to be compliant, according to Pranav Haldea, managing director of PRIME database.

At the 200 leading companies listed on the Bombay Stock Exchange (BSE),

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Canadian Sniper: watch the trailer

Canadian Sniper, currently breaking box office records from Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! to Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, is a poignant lumbersexual domestic drama illustrating the post traumatic stress of a, yes, Canadian Sniper, isolated and alone in an environment deprived even of a backyard rink.

Enjoy?

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This misguided hipster is trying to crowdfund money for 13 dates

raincoaster:

As I am currently researching crowdfunding, the Worst Crowdfunder in the World is of intense interest to me. This guy could just stop getting tats and fund his own goddam love life. Or take that noxious quiff out and watch the ladies come running.

Originally posted on Metro:

Tom Packer, who is trying to crowdfund 13 dates on Indiegogo Yes, of course he has a beard. And tattoos. And wears waistcoats. Snore. (Picture: Indiegogo)

Meet Tom. He’s everything that’s wrong with the modern world. Pray for him.

Tom Packer is a 26-year-old from Norwich (yes, home of Alan Partridge. How appropriate). He describes himself as ‘a cocktail bartender and… occasional writer’, and he’s looking for love.

But instead of just getting on with it like the rest of us, he’s decided to try and blag the money on crowdfunding site Indiegogo.

But why? Why can’t 26-year-old Tom pay for his own sodding dates? Well, the poor little mite explains: ‘I spend my time writing and making cocktails in a local bar. This, however, means that I sadly don’t have the funds for 13 dates, especially if I want to impress the ladies.’

*Takes a deep breath*

Tom Packer writing This is Tom doing some of his occasional writing (Picture: Youtube/ Tom Packer)

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