Category Archives: Dating

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Happy? Valentine’s Day

If they wanted us to be truly happy, wouldn’t it be OUR day instead of this Valendude’s? Think about it.

Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean it’s NOT a conspiracy.

The Stormtrooper of Love

The Stormtrooper of Love

Not sure what to get That Special Someone on This Special Day? If he’s anything like this guy, I recommend the newly-released Kalashnikov 5. Yes, that’s right: they released the newest AK-47 just in time for Valentine’s Day. How thoughtful of them.

As for me, well, is there any question what I want? And I didn’t get it for Christmas, either.

They simply flock to him

They simply flock to him

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Bunneh Power!

Fuck You I Can Fly

Fuck You I Can Fly

So, yesterday I must have looked particularly Playboyesque than normal, because I got hit on copiously and actually asked out three times. So that was good.

Not so good was getting Social Media Stood-Up today. I called him, as agreed, at five, only to have to remind him who I was, to his apparent consternation. “Oh, RIGHT, sure, yeah.” He said he’d Skype me back in a few, after he’d called the others coming to dinner and worked out a place and time…and one hour later, I was still waiting to hear back.

And five minutes after that I was on the bus to a friend’s house for delicious, home-made Mexican food, of which I’ve just fixed myself a second helping.

The ironic part of the equation is that the guy is in Risk Management, but if he were any good at it, would he have DARED to do this?

I think not. I think not, indeed.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Internet Needs

Maslow's Hierarchy of Internet Needs

But it’s okay. I’ve still got my poetry.

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Quiz: Which Royal is For You?

I win!

I win! My royal is prettier than yours!

I got this (sadly unembeddable) quiz from Archie, and it is, let me put this plainly, the fucking shizznit. I mean, how did it know that Carl Philip and I were destined for one another (and who wants to break it to the poor boy?)? I’m looking forward to a royal wedding of my own, very soon. You’re all invited, as long as you’re bringing us something in a bottle for the pressie.

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Interpersonal Communications for White Girls

I HAVE to try this. I wonder if I could get the bus all to myself with this.

“Just throw him The Face for awhile!”

Now, on the off chance that you’re short of inspiration for The Face, you can click over the jump and read all of today’s most skeeve-inducing gossip links.

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A Love Story for Our Time

Internet Love never works out

Internet Love never works out. Lavalife has a lot to answer for.

Haven’t we all had that experience? The tall, handsome, male charmer online somehow morphs, in between tweeting and meeting, into a stubby, Faces-of-Meth, hermaphroditic, spectrum disorder-having bedwetter. Oh, there may be plenty of fish out there, but YOU try getting one to make conversation over a nice entree.

 

The Booty Call of Cthulhu

The Booty Call of Cthulhu

Kate Gosselin will settle for just ANYONE.

Anybody need a stiff drink after that? Apparently I need a Bloody Mary:


You Are a Bloody Mary


You’re a fairly serious drinker who’s experimented a lot with different drinks.

You know what you like to drink, but you’re not a snob. You’ll drink anything in a pinch. 

You’re a drunk, but you are a stable drunk. You don’t ever let your drinking get out of control.

You’re the one who keeps everyone levelheaded, even if you’ve had the most to drink.

If you don’t feel like a drink but have been inspired to take quite a different kind of action, here’s the “what kind of toilet user are you” quiz that you didn’t know you were waiting for.


Your Toilet Personality is Social


You’ll go anywhere, anytime, with anyone. In fact, you secretly talk on the phone when you’re in your “office.”

For you, going to the bathroom is no big deal. And you going shouldn’t be for anyone else either. 

You don’t mind public restrooms – in fact, you sort of like the energy they bring to the act.

When you’re on the toilet, you consider yourself a bit of a performance artist.

As always, your mileage may vary. And so via natural progression to the celebrity gossip links for today.
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