If they wanted us to be truly happy, wouldn’t it be OUR day instead of this Valendude’s? Think about it.
Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean it’s NOT a conspiracy.
The Stormtrooper of Love
Not sure what to get That Special Someone on This Special Day? If he’s anything like this guy, I recommend the newly-released Kalashnikov 5. Yes, that’s right: they released the newest AK-47 just in time for Valentine’s Day. How thoughtful of them.
As for me, well, is there any question what I want? And I didn’t get it for Christmas, either.
So, yesterday I must have looked particularly Playboyesque than normal, because I got hit on copiously and actually asked out three times. So that was good.
Not so good was getting Social Media Stood-Up today. I called him, as agreed, at five, only to have to remind him who I was, to his apparent consternation. “Oh, RIGHT, sure, yeah.” He said he’d Skype me back in a few, after he’d called the others coming to dinner and worked out a place and time…and one hour later, I was still waiting to hear back.
And five minutes after that I was on the bus to a friend’s house for delicious, home-made Mexican food, of which I’ve just fixed myself a second helping.
The ironic part of the equation is that the guy is in Risk Management, but if he were any good at it, would he have DARED to do this?
I got this (sadly unembeddable) quiz from Archie, and it is, let me put this plainly, the fucking shizznit. I mean, how did it know that Carl Philip and I were destined for one another (and who wants to break it to the poor boy?)? I’m looking forward to a royal wedding of my own, very soon. You’re all invited, as long as you’re bringing us something in a bottle for the pressie.
Internet Love never works out. Lavalife has a lot to answer for.
Haven’t we all had that experience? The tall, handsome, male charmer online somehow morphs, in between tweeting and meeting, into a stubby, Faces-of-Meth, hermaphroditic, spectrum disorder-having bedwetter. Oh, there may be plenty of fish out there, but YOU try getting one to make conversation over a nice entree.
The Booty Call of Cthulhu
Kate Gosselin will settle for just ANYONE.
Anybody need a stiff drink after that? Apparently I need a Bloody Mary: