Riot Dog will see your Caturday and raise you

Hell.

Riot Dog will take a bite out of the IMF

Riot Dog will take a bite out of the IMF

Did you even know that the Greeks have a kind of tradition of riot dogs? How awesome is that? On the other hand, a necessary precondition for a tradition of riot dogs is a tradition of riotry, which is not so awesome when it extends decades in each direction with no end in sight until both sides run out of money for ammunition.

via YourAnonNews and proof that Riot Dog is my spirit animal. He’s as as fluid of iteration as any “official member” of Anonymous, his yellow coat and floppy ears own his V for Vendetta mask and vastly more prevalent among the canine population than masks of any sort, really, which would look sort of silly; ubiquity confers effective immortality; you’ve gotta admit, that’s pretty intelligent for someone who isn’t even a border collie. Now all you cat people? Can just curl into a fetal ball and wait for someone to open a can for you, like always. Play them off, Keyboard Cat.

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Scientific Labs

Another in our ongoing series of servicey Public Service (and Slightly Redundant) Announcements: How to tell what kind of a lab it is by looking just at the outside.

Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab

Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab. Like the Seven Dwarfs, but crackier.

You’re welcome.

Related: the most destructive breeds of dog, in order of destructiviciousness in insurance claim money. I would like to draw your particular attention to #2, of which we have spoken before.

1. Great Dane £700

2. Chihuahua £638

3. Mastiff £586

4. Basset Hound £564

5. Whippet £519

6. English Setter £485

7. Bulldog £446

8. Dachshund £445

9. Boxer £404

10. Beagle £400

11. Greyhound £393

12. Dalmatian £388

13. Doberman Pinscher £380

14. Rottweiler £200

15. Border Collie £179

16. Labrador £172

17. Rhodesian Ridgeback £170

18. Newfoundland £163

19. Jack Russell £161

20. Golden Retriever £149

Once again, the Meth Lab:

Meth Lab Puppy dares you to make a fuss!

Meth Lab Puppy dares you to make a fuss!

Emo vs Emo: animal wars

This post will not include cats. Everyone knows cats aren’t emo.

Icelandic Ponies are emo. You would be too, if an outbreak of horse herpes had sent a flock of Utah Beauty Queens off their regular mounts and onto you. You would also, presumably, be rather tired, if very relaxed.

Emo pony doesn't care about your sugar. Life IS lumps, sweetie.

Emo pony doesn't care about your sugar. Life IS lumps, sweetie.

Look, they’ve even got the hair:

Sable Island Pony is emo, too. With better hair

Sable Island Pony is emo, too. With better hair

And Poodles, also are emo. Chihuahuas are not emo: they’re just evil.

Emo Poodle is Self Actualized

Emo Poodle is Self Actualized

It is potentially possible that things that start with a P are all emo. Of course, starting off with a Pee always makes me less moody and irritable…

THEY are arming! Chihuahua strike force assembling

Kurt Cobain welcomes the Herald of Death

Kurt Cobain welcomes the Herald of Death

Somebody get me Wikileaks…this story is too big to be contained.

We have consistently attempted to warn an oblivious world to the danger posed by those fanged and clawed trembly naked mole rats known as Chihuahuas, and has it listened?

The hell it has.

Well, folks, congratulations. It’s Too Late:

THEY have a cavalry.

and THEY have reinforcements.

You have been warned.

Chihuahuas: fanged mole rats of doom! OF DOOM, PEOPLE!

Evil puppehs are evil

Evil puppehs are evil

Long have we shouted into the insatiable, oblivious void, warning of the dangers of those tiny, trembling, fanged and clawed homunculi known as Chihuahuas. And have you listened? Hellz no you have not; you persist in toting these hideous, incontinent fetal aliens in handbags and amusingly-McMansion-shaped wheelie bins everywhere you go.

[aside: while I was writing this, Zemanta came up with some Related Articles and they included something I could have sworn said "cooking and features of a Blue Chihuahua" but alas it was "coloring" instead. Imagine my disappointment. Also, capitalizing adjectives and nouns? Isn't that German? Are these loathesome creatures the spawn of some unthinkable Nazi experiment? It would explain a lot, that's all I'm saying. Also, apparently cooking Chihuahuas is A Thing:

CORRECTION: The first ingredient in the 4/30 Quesadillas recipe should have read “1 cup shredded Mexican Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Pepper Jack, or brick cheese.” Somehow, an auto spell-check changed cheddar to Chihuahua. We apologize for the error and hope that no Chihuahuas were harmed due to the error.

] yes I had to end the [...] because I’m meticulous like that.

But now we have reports, many reports, coming in. You will not listen to reason, but might you listen to evidence? Just maybe?

From the comments on Gawker:

Good Girl Gone Bad @raincoaster
Actually scientists did some DNA analysis that showed chihuahuas are descended from an entirely different type of canine than all of the other breeds of dogs. They can interbreed with other breeds of dogs only because most species of canine can interbreed (like wolves and dogs(

So actually you are right

P.S. I have a supercrush on you.

Obviously a person of vast intelligence and exquisite taste. This was in the comments added to an article about how a thief stole it out of a car along with a laptop but returned the Naked Mole Rat “Dog” in the back seat, because even criminals deserve better company.

Chihuahuas have been named one of the 100 most dangerous dogs in Australia (way to go, team!):

CHIHUAHUAS and pomeranians are on the list of Queenland”s 100 most menacing dogs.

They might stand less than 30cm tall, but the small pets have now officially been declared menacing creatures by authorities, under controversial new state laws aimed at slowing the state’s rising number of dog attacks.

More than a year after the laws were introduced, only 110 dogs have been declared menacing in Queensland, but authorities predict that will soar as awareness of the new laws spreads.

And awareness of the right to self-defense.

At least the damn things can’t breed.

Or fly. Like Poodles can.

Shelter workers at an SPCA on B.C.’s Sunshine Coast have taken an injured poodle under their wing after the canine was dropped onto the grounds of a care home by a large bird of prey.

The six-year-old poodle, dubbed “Miracle May” by workers, fell from the sky onto the Shorncliff Nursing Home in Sechelt on May 2.

Where is your dog now?

Where is your dog now?