Attention Edward Snowden: INCOMING!

Well, this should end well.

Flounce Bingo, the national game of the Internet

Flounce Bingo, the national game of the Internet

There are some people the internet will miss, and me as well. And then there are some who…well…

So, I’m an admin in a hacker group on Facebook. This is challenging enough with people who are real, rather than made-up personas, and who speak English rather than some garbled patois known only to troll forums, intelligible only to RealGirls and other similarly mentally-challenged persons or entities. But not everyone who is there is real, sane, fluent in English, or respectful of boundaries.

Since I am identifiably and undeniably female on Facebook, those persons feel that I must be the most welcoming, friendly, helpful, and empathic admin.

This is a mistake.

Here is one of them. Let’s mock him, shall we?

Via completely, utterly unsolicited private message on Facebook:

Well, gee. Glad I could help.

Edward, you’re welcome.

Art for Christmas!

Copper Painting by artist Marilyn McKee

Copper Painting by artist Marilyn McKee

How’d you like to get a $1,200 work of art for ten measly bucks? You would, wouldn’t you (you cheap-ass art-lover, you!)? Well here’s your chance to really stun someone on Christmas morning with an extravagant present that says more and better things about you than, say, an Ed Hardy nightie and a bottle of Malibu.

Haida artist Marilyn McKee, the same woman featured in this article I wrote for the Daily Dot last year, has turned to Facebook once again, raffling off this impressive copper painting. A jeweler by trade, McKee is branching out and doing more painting this year. This is the largest, most complex piece she has done yet.

Tickets are $10 and you haven’t much time. The draw is in 11 hours, 9am Friday morning. To purchase tickets by electronic transfer, message the artist on Facebook directly or email or phone. Here is what she posted on Facebook a few days ago, and there are still tickets left (two fewer if I can get the transfer done in time!):

The piece is signed by Haida artist Marilyn McKee.
The piece comes with authenticity
and has been painted on a metal canvas 2 feet across.
EMT will be accepted and cost of shipping will be incurred by myself.
Again only 94 tickets are left @10 each. so if only 50 sell your odds increase.
Draw will be Friday morning, Dec 20th @9 am or sooner if sold out.
Thank you
marilynmckee at

Support a local artist and get yourself some swank wall swag at the same time! By tomorrow lunchtime it will be too late!

For this, O Lord, I am truly grateful

Yes, it’s a new flamewar on Facebook, this time over the question of whether the existence of a theistic god is central to Christianity or not! It happened on the wall of a friend who had nothing to do with subsequent events, so I’ll leave him out of this. The initial post was about an atheist’s ability to have a civilized conversation with an open-minded Christian minister. And my initial question wasn’t snarky, just curious.

While the Warden’s not looking

and there IS no key

and there IS no key

Ah, GPOY right there. I often feel like the smartest person in the room, but some days I literally feel like the only smart person in any room or even outdoors, all the way to the sky and including any spelunkers or snorklers currently under the surface of the planet. And then I go to Facebook, where I receive confirmation of this.

Yesterday I went to a meeting of people interested in a particular do-gooder nonprofit where the project lead spent FIFTEEN MINUTES defining the words in the title of the talk. If he didn’t think we knew what those words meant, why did he think we were there?

A very Mötley Twö

Gzerod Von Staaf

Gzerod Von Staaf has this to say: Too Metal for Motley Crue: my new Willie Nelson-look-alike friend and I both deemed “unacceptable” for a “metal” show. Note our “dangerous and inappropriate” necklaces. I am done with this city.

Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s what you get for trying to be edgy in placid Victoria, BC. Gzerod Von Staaf (possibly the most metal name I’ve ever heard) is, to no-one’s surprise, the frontman of a band, Staaf Only. His commitment to the heavy metal lifestyle and look is clear from the eyeliner-and-yes-metal-heavy photos on his Facebook page. His popularity is clear from the several thousand Likes he’s collected. He was probably as excited as any fellow musician in the field to have tickets to the Mötley Crue concert in town, and regalia’d himself out appropriately, as you can see in the above instagram. We shall say nothing about instagram not being metal, for we are not a hardass.

Unlike, apparently, the security guard at Save On Foods Memorial Centre (“Memorial?” is it bankrupt or something?). Here is what happened, from a couple of posts on the Motley Crue Facebook page”

Renee LaFortune said, “The rent-a-cops security at Save-on-foods arena in Victoria, BC, would not admit Gzerod Von Staaf to the concert tonight. Not cool.” and garnished it with footage of a truly impressive guitar solo, for bonus cred.

Then on my friend Jodie’s wall, she elaborated on what had happened.

  • It wasn’t the band, nor the arena (or so they tell me), it was a contracted security firm, hired by the arena.
  • Renee LaFortune The ticket money was NOT refunded. Complaints have been filed all over the place.
  • Renee LaFortune note: the above photo was taken outside the arena. The two people (Gzerod and the Willie Nelson look-alike) were denied admittance.

Stephanie Landucci, Von Staaf‘s girlfriend was also apparently denied admittance to the show for dress-code-related reasons, which left her plenty of time to post about it on Facebook and challenge the Crue directly.

Tonight, my boyfriend and I were denied admittance to the Victoria, B.C. concert, based on the fact that he was wearing several chain necklaces. Moments before this occurred, a group of Ed Hardy clad, gold chain sporting coke heads were ushered in with no problem at all.

My boyfriend is a conscientious, law-abiding non-drinker, as well as amazing musician and great admirer of the Crue, yet these partially-literate fucktards, who are the most likely to cause harm, undue violence, drink and drive, and ultimately date rape some girl they meet at the show, are welcomed and encouraged to get drunk. Where is the justice, Crue?

Indeed. If it can’t keep Ed Hardy-wearing douchenozzles out of your show, what the hell kind of dress code is that? Related: I was not there, so I don’t know, but by any chance were the band sporting metal?

Best comment of the night goes to Greg Bulmash: “Motley Crue’s idea of “metal” these days is the iron supplements their nurses give them with their morning porridge.”