I know we’ve discussed this before, mostly on Twitter and in the Anti-Fairy Conspiracy comments, but NEVER turn your back on a meerkat. They’ll rip your throat out as soon as look at you, and if they know you’re onto them, there is no end to their wicked, weasely wiles.
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Long have we at the ol’ raincoaster blog known of the subtle, nefarious schemes of the meerkat conspiracy. The sadistic subjugation they plan for us would make servitude to the Great Old Ones look like a vacation on the Riviera, yet humans persist in thinking them harmless. Now, finally, we have proof that the meerkat anti-fairy forces are no myth, but instead a strong and active military force boasting snipers of cruel and relentless efficiency.
Click, and watch a little something I call The Death of Glinda:
Thank god fairies have nine lives, and Glinda made a full recovery.
Meerkats. Cutesy little standy-uppy weasel lookin’ bastards. Never take your eyes off those motherfuckers.
This is a Blogathon post. Don’t just sit there, SPONSOR ME!
Yes, Virginia, fairies do exist.
This is a controversial issue we’ve covered frequently in the past. You will note the comments of the doubters; never supplying a single shred of evidence to support their theory, they deal in third-hand rumours and blatant pig-headedness to support their outrageous hypothesis that fairies are imaginary. It’s a scandal that so-called “rationalists” could indulge in unsubstantiated rumour-mongering of this nature.
Do you think Shakespeare, who wrote about Julius Caesar and the dubious merits of Scottish hosts, would make shit up? Do ya, punk?
Now, from TackyRaccoons, comes clear photographic proof of the existence of these delightful sprites. Polaroids, as everyone knows, cannot be faked.
Not only do we now have real proof that they exist, but we are beginning to understand how they reproduce. In this comment I suggested an hypothesis of fairy generation, and not long after that pictoral evidence surfaced to support my theory that they were not gestated in banal fashion like so many mortals, but instead crawled out from between the petals on the undersides of mushrooms. And here is the picture that proves it.
Case? Closed!
Because it is late/early and I have been up for 30 straight hours and I am somewhat punchy (and, you might have noticed, somewhat crabby lately), I am going to do a lightning round of Operation Global Media Domination.
Look at the searches that brought people to my blog! Mother would be so proud:
Search Engine Terms
These are terms people used to find your blog.
Today
Search Views my first cthulhu 1 what does a classy whore look like 1 ovaltine shirts 1 britney spears handwriting 1 goatse 1 fairy 1 Yesterday
Search Views fairy 85 britney sex tape 62 cthulhu 41 britney spears sex tape sex tape 28 audrey hepburn 27 steve jobs 20 christian bale remix 14 siegfried and roy 14 winona ryder sex 12 porn slideshow 12
And, yay, I got in the Vancouver Sun’s Digital Life blog with Fearless City. A couple of times, actually, but I’m too lazy/tired to find the Wordcamp Whistler entry. Oh, here I am; wow, even I am impressed my self-promotional instincts outrank my instinct for sleep right now.
If you think that title is far-fetched, you should see some of the streetwalkers around here. Oft, and truly, has it been said, Holy Jeebus, that raincoaster can whore it out like nobody’s business! And oft am I questioned on the results thereof. And, truly, answering is good for hits so here we go again! Cat and Bunk, over in the popular Mummified Fairy Remains thread, were wondering:
rain– How ’bout an update on the stats for this whored out post? Maybe a screenshot of the graph? I’m willing to interpret it for Metro.
Those were actually comments number 1297 and 1298, respectively, but I’m too lazy to edit the code. Anyway, their wish is my command, so here are the stats with bonus graph for the Mummified Fairy Remains post.
| J | F | M | A | M | J | J | A | S | O | N | D | Tot | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 07 | 717 | 1,537 | 945 | 3,212 | 3,543 | 3,309 | 5,047 | 3,145 | 5,432 | 26,887 | |||
| 08 | 8,962 | 6,641 | 4,548 | 4,638 | 6,998 | 4,228 | 5,063 | 4,516 | 3,223 | 6,569 | 3,703 | 1,293 | 60,382 |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | J | A | S | O | N | D | Tot | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 07 | 24 | 50 | 32 | 104 | 114 | 110 | 163 | 105 | 175 | 98 | |||
| 08 | 289 | 229 | 147 | 155 | 226 | 141 | 163 | 146 | 107 | 212 | 123 | 186 | 177 |
and the graph, unfortunately, will have to wait till I figure out how to save it to a place I can use it on this machine. It’s so advanced I can hardly use the damn thing!
I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone whore a post out this much. I am impressed!