PedoBear and LiLo: Together Again at Last!

Pedobear

Pedobear

So, can someone tell me what PedoBear is doing in Lindsay Lohan’s new game for kids?

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Party On, Rude!

And fuck your manscaper too!

And fuck your manscaper too!

spend more time on your eyebrows bro

fuck you too

Those are the immortal words of the unnamed shutterbug behind my new favorite Tumblr, “FuckYouPartyPhotographer.”

In an effort to appear badass, and perhaps attempting to top their appearance on DouchebagsLoveGreyGoose, douches and douchettes all over the Vangroover club scene are begging someone to take their picture, only to flip them off when they do.

Yes, I said “Vangroover.” Never was a more perfect coinage minted, for that is where these people live: a strange, ill-lit land where everyone is desperate to give the impression they’re not actually from Surrey.

White Rock means never having to say you're Surrey, Simba

White Rock means never having to say you’re Surrey, Simba

Now, one man is striking back. One man, alone, armed with nothing more than an apparently eye-catching and high-quality photo rig, and a permanent place on the VIP list. And it is glorious.

Fuck you, Combover Boy

Fuck you, Combover Boy

FUCK YOU TOO

who are you, Prince William, duke of assholes ;)

If you go out clubbing in this city and fly the colours for the party photographer, and the colours read “Fuck You,” you can be pretty sure that, sooner or later, you will end up on this Tumblr, and NO, he will not take it down.

What are you gonna do, swear at him?

PS I’m pretty sure that on a lot of those tongues flapped out, Miley-style, that bump isn’t a tongue stud, it’s HPV.

Operation Global Media Domination: The Mojave Phone Booth situation

Lily Tomlin calls the Mojave Phone Booth

Lily Tomlin calls the Mojave Phone Booth

760-733-9969. Those 10 digits might signify nothing to the masses, but to the digerati, however, they tell one of the great stories of the Internet.

In short, the Mojave Phone Booth is back.

That’s the intro to my article on Jered Morgan’s resurrection of one of the most legendary phone numbers of all time. And here’s what one happy reader had to say about it. I remember this guy. Used to come into the Starbucks where I worked all the time. Nice guy. It did my heart good to see that at least one writer in the world was making enough to afford two lattes a day on money he didn’t have to make marketing stuff.

William Gibson was probably referring to Jered’s actions and not to my article, but I’m gonna take whatever I can get, right?

Someone else wrote a haiku about it:

Also, finally FINALLY I have been found Fark-worthy. Who knew people liked old-timey phone numbers so much?

picture this

Aung San Suu Kyi

Aung San Suu Kyi

I’ve often wondered whether Nobel Prize Winner Aung San Suu Kyi would have risen to global fame (and a Nobel) if she hadn’t been beautiful. Yes, people think about these things. Well, you knew that. But some people talk about them, too, which is slightly more fraught.

John Molloy, the guy who wrote all those Dress for Success books in the early 80’s, said there was a greater correlation between the monetary success of Harvard grads and their height than there was between their success and their grades. We perceive good-looking people to be not just more attractive, but more intelligent, more diligent, and more moral than their homely peers. Those who listened to the Kennedy/Nixon debate on the radio felt Nixon had won, while those who saw it on television felt almost unanimously that Kennedy had trounced Richard “Flopsweat” Nixon.

And all this is not to say that she (and Kennedy, and those lanky Harvard grads) don’t deserve what they’ve gotten; it’s rather to say that beauty is power. And sometimes it’s hard not to resent that. While I’m glad to see it put to use for the cause of good here, how often has it been used to slip something by us that we should have stopped? How often, on the global stage, have we been desensitized and made victims by the presence of sheer physical beauty?

Today I don’t have any answers. I just hope I’m asking the right questions.

Operation Global Media Domination: the Occupy Vancouver Situation

Octopi Vancouver

The Occupy Vancouver Media Domination Situation? Frankly, it sucks.

Occupy Vancouver sucks for hits, Google features nothing but page after page of mainstream media when you search for the term, and nobody in this town even seems to know I’m back from Yellowknife, let alone at Occupy Vancouver every other damn day/night. But that won’t stop me.

And it won’t stop me from boasting, either. Because I may not have the hits, but I have very glossy retweeters and atters, so there. I’ve lost the direct links to Neil Gaiman and William Gibson (once my favorite Starbucks customer), but that’s just because they talk almost as much as I do!

not to mention a hit-boosting RT of my article from OccupyVancouver and Bianca Jagger. Yes, THAT Bianca Jagger; how many do you think there are? She’s pretty awesome on Twitter, so I doubt the world could hold more than one.

I always say thank you, because I have fucking GREAT manners, bitchez.

and she has excellent manners as well:

And so, even though I spent 15 minutes of my Twitter for the Occupy Movement workshop telling people not to cultivate celebrities as a media strategy, it does make for a quick and popular (and validating) blog post. So, do as I tweet, not as I blog? Or something? It’s been a long day.

Speaking of Validation:

That’ll teach the Province to suggest I intern for them!