Let’s review. Yes, I’m embarked on a body makeover quest, or in my case a “get back to what my body was like my whole life before the last five years” quest. I actually have run a marathon, and I’d like to do that again. If I can’t do it while being a freelance writer, I will never manage to find the time. I trained for the marathon while working 60-80 hours a week at Starbucks, for god’s sake, but that was back before Anonymous had become interesting and Wikileaks was only a twinkle in Assange’s eye, and now I have other things that keep me nailed to the desk 18 hours a day.
What I want is:
Mylene Farmer could never be called modest, but if YOU looked like that, would YOU be?
What I can actually achieve is:
Ginger Spice would be nice
and my timeline is two years. There’s an Anon running one of the major European accounts who ever now and again informs me that he cannot wait to see the results (although when I told him I’d just bought two damask corsets, he insisted there was no need to wait on taking pictures, and could I upload some immediately, please). Anonymous r srs bznz.
I just found a pretty cool motivational video, too, so forgive me if I edit it to autoplay when I hit a particularly bad plateau. I’m getting right back on that diet, too, just as soon as I finish this bottle of Johnny Walker. Funny how Johnny Walker is actually incompatible with walking…except to the liquor store.
Once, back when I was training for a marathon, I jogged six miles to the liquor store, bought a bottle of Bombay Sapphire, refused a bag because I’m all green and shit, and then had to run six miles home with a bottle of gin in my hand. I looked like the choosiest thief in town.
