Or, probably, in the future as well. In all of recorded time and space, in fact. And just think, Nick Denton, if your place hadn’t become a cesspool of festering Deadspin lunkheads, you could have had this on your site.
In response to an AIDs denialist in the comments on the video of Spencer Cox from the previous post:
Oh, honey. Spencer’s toenails were better than you. They had a higher IQ, more credibility, and a better likelihood of being remembered with fondness. Spencer is now redecorating the halls of Valhalla while the best thing you can think to do with your completely unjust continued life is to troll YouTube, forsooth, in order to eke out tiny shreds of the attention you crave but can gain no other way. Because you have nothing to offer the world. You are wholly contemptible. Go pour salt on yourself.
This post was inspired by a rather heated (40 or so comments) discussion on Facebook about whether misogyny within the ranks is holding back the Occupy movement. Make no mistake: it is. If you chart the flamewars on FB alone, the male individuals against female individuals flamewars are running about double the rate of the male on male flamewars, and this is AFTER the most sensitive women left the group altogether. This came as a huge, and saddening, surprise to me; I was raised in the era of Equality, when fighting for the rights of women was as accepted as fighting for the rights of black people or the handicapped. Apparently, when we were resting on our laurels and telling ourselves we’d come a long way, baby, things slipped backwards.
But silence is a form of collusion, as this image from AnonCircle points out, and it’s time to speak out.
One of the most telling signs of the backsliding: despite that thread being prominently featured in my friends’ news feeds and in various Occupy Vancouver Facebook groups and pages, I was the only woman who commented on it publicly. In a depressing version of “the lurkers are with me” I received many private messages of hearty support from women.
I, naturally, challenged them.
“If you think that, why do you not post it? Why are you telling ME that women deserve equal respect? I already know this.”
“Because I wanted you to know I support you.”
“Then support me. Take my left flank. POST.”
Result: one comment. One is an infinite times greater than zero, so I’m counting this as progress. Courage and support are not courage or support if they melt away like a vampire in daylight.
Mylene Farmer could never be called modest, but if YOU looked like that, would YOU be?
Followers of the ol’ raincoastersphere, specifically Manolofood.com, will be aware that I recently did a 48-hour hunger strike, and only cheated once. During this fast, I gained three pounds. I do not recall any victims of waterboarding complaining about weight gain, and most hunger strikers of my acquaintance have been precisely the sort of ectomorphs who should be raising awareness by running across InNeedistan or something instead of indulging in calorie deprivation. When you’re fat, seeing skinny people go on hunger strikes is really under the aegis of the Department of Insult to Injury. As is the gaining of three pounds on a hunger strike.
Okay, okay, when I took off my Thuggie I discovered that I’d actually lost four pounds (and also that Thuggies weigh seven pounds!) but still!
Given that I spent all of last year obsessively tracking my calorie input and output with the LoseIt app and averaged 1100 calories a day and did not lose a single pound, it’s quite clear that if I’m ever to get to my ideal, or even a slightly improved, shape, it’ll take actually breaking a sweat. More than once a month, too.
Speaking if ideal shape…the one in the above photo is pretty much it. Mylene Farmer is older than me, and she still has that figure. This one.
Of course, she has those legs; that helps. Unless my pal Anthony Youn comes up with a clever, painless and cheap leg-lengthening procedure, I will never have legs anywhere near that good, but mine when in shape are not to be sneezed at. Especially if you don’t cover your nose. But hey, I got a start on the look: I bought the lipstick!
The current fashion for bowlegged rickets victims is not one which meets with my approval, in case you were wondering. I’d love to know which photographer we can blame for a generation of starlets who all pose as if they were about to lose bladder control. When in doubt, blame everything on Terry Richardson.
Knock kneed hipster girl
So Mylene’s shape is not achievable for me, which is too bad not only for me but for everyone who has to look at me. My current shape is quite perogy-like, and everybody likes perogies, so that’s something, but it’s not what I want.
This is what I want.
Ginger Spice would be nice
Believe it or not, for me, this is doable. Hell, I already had the hair! This will take, if I keep on schedule (which I will not and let’s be honest about it, you wouldn’t either) about a year. So I’m giving myself two years, because I’m like that with myself and you would be too, if you treasured me the way I do.
And if I looked like that, you would, wouldn’t you?
You think I’m kidding, don’t you? You’re probably feeling pretty smug about your OWN Sesame Street recaps, perhaps for good reason, but once you read this recap from Scott Lynch on Livejournal you’ll have to give it up to Scotty; this shizz is genius. Hat tip to Bourgeois Nerd for this awesome discovery.
Seriously, do you have anything like this, from a visit to the museum in which Snuffy and Bird run into a 4000 year old Egyptian ghost, a demon, and Osiris.
To which Big Bird interjects: “That’s not fair!” I am absolutely not fucking kidding. This is the part of the program where Big Bird defies a god and argues justice for the tormented soul of his little buddy … You think you know a Muppet… but it’s plain that we’ve had Big Bird figured all wrong. He’s no kindergartener. He’s a previously unknown aspect of the Eternal fucking Champion.
@AssangeC @raincoaster somehow this little incident encapsulates what's happening to Julian: people hearing about "sex" instead of "facts".— WikiLeaksLover (@NOH8ER) February 21, 2012
@NOH8ER @AssangeC whoa, that is SO true. I guess I was guilty too. I think you got right to the heart of it there.— (@raincoaster) February 21, 2012
@raincoaster me too. Everyone makes mistakes, wish they handled them as you did this one.— pj (@wheeliesmom) February 21, 2012
On the upside:
Plastic midget slacker for life homie RT @raincoaster: Lego Kurt Cobain is now Following me. That's GenX geek cred, right there.— lego kurt cobain (@Lego_KurtCobain) February 21, 2012
So yeah, validated.
But I’m telling you, for the next little while I don’t need any god damn more surprises. CHEERS!
