Category Archives: Gonzo

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TwitPic of the Day: Enter the Dragon

Er, so to speak, you understand. So to speak.

BoJo: Enter the Dragon

BoJo: Enter the Dragon

via Azahar

Now that’s a physical specimen to put the fear of god into Ryan Reynolds, eh? How majestic, how magnificent. How much energy went into getting this body in motion? The mind: it boggleth.

Never change, Boris. Never change.

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Unboxing FruzsE

FruzsE at Roflcon

FruzsE at Roflcon

It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

That somebody is my co-worker (for the second time: the first was at the long-lost and oft-lamented True/Slant. We’re both chicks, so when it got sold to Forbes they let us go, but HEY NO HARD FEELINGS. The layoff notice addressed to “Dear Contributor” was a classy touch, I thought) Fruzsina Eördögh, and she is reporting from deep in the heart of ROFLcon for the DailyDot, along with a full third of the masthead.

I’m not. But it’s fine.

This is what conference journalism looks like from the trenches. If you’ve ever read Hunter S. Thompson I know these scenes will not frighten you, but they will shock you with just how far things have gone since HST was conference-going himself. You. Have. Been. Warned.

And here I am stuck at home. No open bar. No ROFLs. Not even a deflated Whoopie Cushion.

But it’s fine. It’s okay. I’ve still got my poetry.

IAMBIC Pentameter REPRESENT!

IAMBIC Pentameter REPRESENT!

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How to Do ANYTHING Better on 4/20

420 Vancouver by gillicious

420 Vancouver by gillicious

Yes, it’s a civic holiday in Vangroover (not really, but yeah) and there’s a distinct likelihood that several, if not even plenty of my readers, yes, we can see you out there, you left the webcam on and your eyeballs look like piss holes in the snow, may be somewhat affected by, shall we say, hyperlocal atmospheric conditions.

So, in the spirit of serviceyness, we present a couple of handy-dandy guides that will help you pretend not to be completely fucked up.

First up, Mowing Your Lawn on PCP:

Great! Don’t you feel productive now? But the night is still young, so don’t stop the buzz now! Grab a bottle of some refreshing liquid and follow along with Jenna Marbles as she shows you how to do makeup drunk.

And now Hannah from My Drunk Kitchen shows you How to Make Poutine, which you will want if you got baked, yourself:

She should definitely NOT have licked up the gravy that dissolved the dust from Burning Man and washed it down with a Caesar. She was only drunk before: now she’s a bad case of All Of The Above.

One thing that should not be attempted under the influence: singing in the car. If you’re the driver, you shouldn’t be messed up, and if you’re not the driver, you’re annoying the driver. Besides, no matter how awesome you think you are, you aren’t as awesome as this guy (yes, more Canadian Content; we’re just that much better at being drunk/stoned than you are):

And, no matter how awesome you think you are, even if you are sober and your audience is completely shitfaced, you will never be as good as Nicki Bluhm and The Gramblers, who use their van as a recording booth while tootling around San Francisco belting out cover tunes.

You’re welcome.

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The Greatest Sesame Street Recap in All Time and All Space

Big Bird: pictured left to right, same dude

Big Bird: pictured left to right, same dude

You think I’m kidding, don’t you? You’re probably feeling pretty smug about your OWN Sesame Street recaps, perhaps for good reason, but once you read this recap from Scott Lynch on Livejournal you’ll have to give it up to Scotty; this shizz is genius. Hat tip to Bourgeois Nerd for this awesome discovery.

Seriously, do you have anything like this, from a visit to the museum in which Snuffy and Bird run into a 4000 year old Egyptian ghost, a demon, and Osiris.

To which Big Bird interjects: “That’s not fair!” I am absolutely not fucking kidding. This is the part of the program where Big Bird defies a god and argues justice for the tormented soul of his little buddy … You think you know a Muppet… but it’s plain that we’ve had Big Bird figured all wrong. He’s no kindergartener. He’s a previously unknown aspect of the Eternal fucking Champion.

Take that, Elmo!